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Original poster

Was this a bit rude of my boss?

78 replies

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:25

I recently started a new job and have been really going the extra mile (staying up late to complete projects, being there for my boss at all hours). The work is pretty chaotic but I just took it in my stride and really hit the ground running, and have have some massive wins since I first started.

We recently had a big departmental awards thing and there was a people's choice award for "new rising star". My boss was leading the committee and had some influence over the final winners. She kept saying that people were nominating me and it could be me. I tried not to get my hopes up but I've been working so hard and working with so many stakeholders across the business, I had a feeling it could be me.

It ultimately went to a colleague on another team. That was fine.

But then my colleague posted about her award on LinkedIn.

And my boss commented "Nobody deserved that award more than you"

My heart just sunk. Is it just me or was my boss a bit insensitive?

OP posts:
Original poster
rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:27

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:25

I recently started a new job and have been really going the extra mile (staying up late to complete projects, being there for my boss at all hours). The work is pretty chaotic but I just took it in my stride and really hit the ground running, and have have some massive wins since I first started.

We recently had a big departmental awards thing and there was a people's choice award for "new rising star". My boss was leading the committee and had some influence over the final winners. She kept saying that people were nominating me and it could be me. I tried not to get my hopes up but I've been working so hard and working with so many stakeholders across the business, I had a feeling it could be me.

It ultimately went to a colleague on another team. That was fine.

But then my colleague posted about her award on LinkedIn.

And my boss commented "Nobody deserved that award more than you"

My heart just sunk. Is it just me or was my boss a bit insensitive?

I just feel like gosh I'm such a mug. Why do I put myself out so much for work?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 29/07/2024 09:27

I’d be sticking to my contract from now on.

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 29/07/2024 09:27

It sounds like it was intended to be supportive and a compliment

loropianalover · 29/07/2024 09:29

I don’t think the LinkedIn comment was a dig at you. Do you know that colleague, perhaps they’ve been putting in monumental efforts as well?

You need to stick to your contract and not break your back over a job.

Lampslights · 29/07/2024 09:31

I don’t think the comment was about you. It was about them. And it was clearly true, as if it wasn’t you’d have won. It just means they went further, but you were doing so well you were in the running.

but again the comment wasn’t about you. Don’t make it about you

MonsteraMama · 29/07/2024 09:32

Well now you've learned not to run around after your boss like a lapdog and not to stay up late and be available at all hours.

None of that makes you a good employee, just makes you easily exploitable.

Coconutter24 · 29/07/2024 09:33

Maybe the other colleague had been putting in a lot of effort also, or has been doing a really good job. If your boss had some influence over the winner then maybe they genuinely thought they deserved it more, if that’s the case it was a bit shitty to get your hopes up by saying anything. Or maybe she didn’t have as much influence as you hoped and she was just making a supportive comment to the winner.

JollyHelper · 29/07/2024 09:37

What was rude about it?

Original poster
rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:38

Sorry, just to clarify. I don't think it was a dig at me, just a throwaway, supportive comment really. But just stung in the moment seeing it.

It is really making me rethink how much I do at work. Which isn't great management right?

OP posts:
Gcsunnyside23 · 29/07/2024 09:41

Do you know what extra lengths the other employee went to? They maybe pulled off something huge. It's hard to tell with these things. But I think they were being supportive, not digging at you. What would you have liked them to say? They probably wanted to write something more than just the big standard well done

Lampslights · 29/07/2024 09:42

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:38

Sorry, just to clarify. I don't think it was a dig at me, just a throwaway, supportive comment really. But just stung in the moment seeing it.

It is really making me rethink how much I do at work. Which isn't great management right?

I’m not sure I agree it’s not good management. Not everyone can win op. And of course they were the most deserving or they’d not have won.

Lampslights · 29/07/2024 09:43

Op did you maybe really get your hopes up you’d win. ?

Smithhy · 29/07/2024 09:44

The petty side of me would win here and I’d like the managers comment on LinkedIn…. Let them feel awkward!

AlohaRose · 29/07/2024 09:48

Smithhy · 29/07/2024 09:44

The petty side of me would win here and I’d like the managers comment on LinkedIn…. Let them feel awkward!

Like the comment if you want, but don’t imagine that your boss is going to feel awkward about it, they probably won’t even notice! And if they do, they will just consider that you were congratulating a colleague. Who knows, perhaps they also told several other employees that they were being nominated, and that the award might go to them?

Having said that, it was unprofessional of them to tell you in advance of any announcement that you were receiving several nominations and that the award might be yours. They could have mentioned afterwards that you had done well in nominations and were obviously being recognised by people which would have been kinder.

PurpleHiker · 29/07/2024 09:49

A better comment would have been 'you had some tough competition, well done!' But I think your boss was just thoughtless. Try not to take it personally.

Original poster
rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:53

PurpleHiker · 29/07/2024 09:49

A better comment would have been 'you had some tough competition, well done!' But I think your boss was just thoughtless. Try not to take it personally.

Thank you

OP posts:
GoldenLegend · 29/07/2024 09:54

Well, the person won the award so it’s true isn’t it? IME it doesn’t matter how hard you work, you need to put effort into getting on with the right people. Is the person who won doing that more than you?

DreamyCyanFinch · 29/07/2024 09:54

PurpleHiker · 29/07/2024 09:49

A better comment would have been 'you had some tough competition, well done!' But I think your boss was just thoughtless. Try not to take it personally.

Yes I agree with this, the boss has been silly because now you might not give your all.Things could have been different, if they had held back a bit with whar rhey had said to you.

DontKeepScratchingIt · 29/07/2024 09:54

loropianalover · 29/07/2024 09:29

I don’t think the LinkedIn comment was a dig at you. Do you know that colleague, perhaps they’ve been putting in monumental efforts as well?

You need to stick to your contract and not break your back over a job.

Just remember this -

We work to live, we don't live to work.

LondonPapa · 29/07/2024 09:55

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:25

I recently started a new job and have been really going the extra mile (staying up late to complete projects, being there for my boss at all hours). The work is pretty chaotic but I just took it in my stride and really hit the ground running, and have have some massive wins since I first started.

We recently had a big departmental awards thing and there was a people's choice award for "new rising star". My boss was leading the committee and had some influence over the final winners. She kept saying that people were nominating me and it could be me. I tried not to get my hopes up but I've been working so hard and working with so many stakeholders across the business, I had a feeling it could be me.

It ultimately went to a colleague on another team. That was fine.

But then my colleague posted about her award on LinkedIn.

And my boss commented "Nobody deserved that award more than you"

My heart just sunk. Is it just me or was my boss a bit insensitive?

Have you considered setting boundaries and not working more than you’re supposed to? You did this to yourself.

redskydarknight · 29/07/2024 09:56

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:38

Sorry, just to clarify. I don't think it was a dig at me, just a throwaway, supportive comment really. But just stung in the moment seeing it.

It is really making me rethink how much I do at work. Which isn't great management right?

Getting an award because you deserve it more than other people is pretty much the definition of why you are chosen to get the award ...

It doesn't downplay the achievements of others that weren't quite as strong.

The Olympics are on at the moment. Everyone congratulates the gold medal winner. Literally no one thinks that means that everyone else's efforts were pointless and they shouldn't bother in the future.

loropianalover · 29/07/2024 09:57

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:38

Sorry, just to clarify. I don't think it was a dig at me, just a throwaway, supportive comment really. But just stung in the moment seeing it.

It is really making me rethink how much I do at work. Which isn't great management right?

You’re taking this all way too seriously. It was a throwaway comment by your boss who was trying to look like a supportive and enthusiastic leader for everyone to see on LinkedIn. That’s not bad management.

What is actually bad management is that staff have to ‘stay up late’, work extra constantly, be there ‘at all hours’ and work in complete chaos, but that fact seems to have escaped you because you’ve already been roped into feeling bad about your performance when you have in fact gone above and beyond. These work awards mean nothing.

TemuSpecialBuy · 29/07/2024 10:00

MonsteraMama · 29/07/2024 09:32

Well now you've learned not to run around after your boss like a lapdog and not to stay up late and be available at all hours.

None of that makes you a good employee, just makes you easily exploitable.

Yep it took me a while to get the memo on this kind of thing to.

The bit that would fuck me off is all the “it could be youuuuu” BS
also having been the line manger in this scenario I took my team member out for a commiseration lunch and told them I appreciated them and thought they were the bees knees. Also that I was aiming for a decent year end bonus for them

  • do your hours, unless there is something in it for you
  • make connections in other teams
  • be looking to transfer or do your 18m and move on.
Wishimaywishimight · 29/07/2024 10:03

Lampslights · 29/07/2024 09:31

I don’t think the comment was about you. It was about them. And it was clearly true, as if it wasn’t you’d have won. It just means they went further, but you were doing so well you were in the running.

but again the comment wasn’t about you. Don’t make it about you

I completely agree with this. Your boss wasn't (presumably) trying to have a dig about you, he/she was just congratulating the person who won.

It sounds like you are doing great, just because someone else is doing just a little bit more/better/more high profile does not mean what you are doing is not noticed and appreciated - it sounds like it is.

Unless it becomes apparent that you are not being supported / appreciated in the long term then I would continue to work as you have been doing, no reason to become childish and 'stick to your contract' as some sort of protest at not having won the award (unless you wish to do so which is of course entirely up to you).

JabbaTheBeachHut · 29/07/2024 10:09

I hope you're getting paid for all the extra hours you're putting in?

If not, then stop doing them.

Presenteeism does no-one any good unless they own the business.

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