Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this a bit rude of my boss?

78 replies

rudebosspotentially · 29/07/2024 09:25

I recently started a new job and have been really going the extra mile (staying up late to complete projects, being there for my boss at all hours). The work is pretty chaotic but I just took it in my stride and really hit the ground running, and have have some massive wins since I first started.

We recently had a big departmental awards thing and there was a people's choice award for "new rising star". My boss was leading the committee and had some influence over the final winners. She kept saying that people were nominating me and it could be me. I tried not to get my hopes up but I've been working so hard and working with so many stakeholders across the business, I had a feeling it could be me.

It ultimately went to a colleague on another team. That was fine.

But then my colleague posted about her award on LinkedIn.

And my boss commented "Nobody deserved that award more than you"

My heart just sunk. Is it just me or was my boss a bit insensitive?

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 01/08/2024 07:02

Put yourself out at work to gain experience you can parlay into a promotion or a new job, or because you actually enjoy doing a good job. Don’t work your socks off for an award. It’s fine to be spurred on by an award and use that to help you with achieving more in work generally, but winning a work award is not an achievement in itself. If you’re going to invest in the work place, you need to be aiming for job satisfaction and tangible benefits, not a gold star or a pat on the back. Those things are nice but ultimately pointless.

summerdazey · 01/08/2024 07:04

You're making the person who won's achievements and the comments about you. People say all sorts of stuff on linked in. What was silly was your boss telling you you'd been nominated etc. The best thing to do is just do your job and accept any praise that comes your way.

Sethera · 01/08/2024 07:11

If you look at the literal meaning of your boss's words, she is only repeating what the awards committee have decided. Nobody deserved the award more than that colleague - if they did, the award would have been given to someone else.

Work recognition often doesn't correlate to the effort a person has put in - it's influenced by politics and whose outcomes created a greater splash - and often mainly a way of publicising the achievements of a particular team or department. Don't set much store by it. Carry on doing your job to the best of your ability, but set reasonable limits on the hours you put in - don't let it take over your life.

tanstaafl · 01/08/2024 07:33

As @Sethera says

Work recognition often doesn't correlate to the effort a person has put in - it's influenced by politics and whose outcomes created a greater splash - and often mainly a way of publicising the achievements of a particular team or department.

OP, If you’ve been doing a lot of firefighting , sorting out chaos then giving you the award only serves to shine a spotlight on your manager’s ability or inability to manage.

Snorrrring · 01/08/2024 07:37

Your boss told you that lots of people voted for you - that might have included your boss but the colleague got the most votes which was how the outcome was determined so unless the process was rigged, if your colleague got the most votes she deserved it. But as someone else has mentioned - people say all sorts of shit on LinkedIn. Try not to let this affect you.

Goldcushions2 · 01/08/2024 07:45

OP, you are being very cleverly used, managed and made a complete mug of by your boss.

Are you paid for all those hours?
If not then you are even a bigger fool.

You can realise it now or continue on.
You have gained a lot of experience from this job, think about moving on as soon as suits you.

Until then dial it down.
Killing yourself doesn't mark yourself out as anything more than exploitable and over eager.

There is doing a good job and there is behaving like you have no life outside of work.....not something people fundamentally admire or respect.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 01/08/2024 07:48

We have similar awards at work and I hate them. They are so demotivating. I’ve stop going even though I’m nominated each year.

LimeAnkles · 01/08/2024 07:50

Employee awards mean nothing. Literally nothing.

A few years ago I worked with someone who had been awarded the Rising Star award. She never rose any higher than the entry level job she held at the time she won the award. She lorded that thing round for 5 years! Even put it on her CV.

  1. Do your job as per your job description.
  2. Do not make yourself available after hours. You've already learnt you get no thanks for being the out of hours hero.
  3. Make connections in other teams /departments.
  4. Learn about other areas of the business and Industry (if it's an industry you want to stay in).
  5. Develop your skills.
  6. Don't be anyone's lapdog.
  7. When you feel you've outgrown that position, move on. Don't hang around for promised promotions that don't happen.
Loopytiles · 01/08/2024 07:53

Boss sounds poor (frequently contacting you outside work hours, ‘it could be you’, not following up with you after doing that and you weren’t selected). Perhaps your workplace has a long hours culture and / or you equate working long hours to performing well.

Maddy70 · 01/08/2024 07:55

You have no idea what extra lengths they went to too.
It was a supportive comment on linked in thats all. Youre reading way too much into a throwaway comment

Sassybooklover · 01/08/2024 07:55

Your boss certainly shouldn't have stated 'you could be in the running' or 'people have nominated you'. Your boss, should have kept quiet. You have to also remember, your boss may have said exactly the same to, not only the person who won, but others besides you in the office! The comment on LinkedIn wasn't a dig at you, and not sure why you would even think that, to be honest. This other person has worked hard, went above and beyond, the same as you, but ultimately won. I am all for working hard at work, but don't end up being a slave to your job. It ends up being expected, and many people become exploited by their employers, who just want more and more. No job is worth that.

ChubSeedsYorkie · 01/08/2024 08:19

You’ve taken it very personally. It was just a congratulatory comment. It probably didn’t even occur to your boss you may see it.

Sparklybanana · 01/08/2024 08:19

As someone who has gone all out before - this strategy has little reward and offers no more security when the company falters. The only thing it provides is the notion that this is your normal and if you ever actually provide normal, you will be judged for it.
It's just not worth it. Especially for an award. The better award is your own time.

Lemonbalm13 · 01/08/2024 09:00

Sorry to hear this, however learn from it. If you need to take your work outside of office hours and you are genuinely busy in hours then you have too much to do for one person and i would be raising that with management. The more you do the more you will be given to do. You might not see it now since you are new but if you look around a large firm the good employees carry alot of dead wood for no financial gain. You need to obtain a healthy work/life balance cause believe me no one from your job will be at your bedside. Do your job and do it well but don't let it consume you either. And if there is no payment for overtime I wouldn't even bother, I've learned the hard way myself. Write it off as experience and learn from it going forward.

Dinkydo12 · 01/08/2024 09:42

Always find the more you do the more they expect you to do. Suck it up and don't be such a willing horse. Do what has to be done during your contracted hours.

LookItsMeAgain · 01/08/2024 10:13

Is your manager also the manager of the person who won this award?

I do think it was thoughtless of the manager whatever the situation to post a comment like that on such a public forum.

However, as you now know just what this manager is like, you can finish up at your contracted time and start at that time and if things don't get done in time, you can point out that when you went above and beyond for this team, it wasn't recognised and you don't feel the need to stretch yourself beyond what is contractually expected of you.

The video of the bloke who said that he wasn't going to be more than a 'fair market value employee' because although both he and his manager knew he was the top employee, his salary was below the median for what he was doing and he hadn't had a pay rise in 2 years. (I know the video that went viral was staged after the actual discussion he had with his manager but he came back saying that was what he said in the actual call to HR).

sadabouti · 01/08/2024 10:18

MonsteraMama · 29/07/2024 09:32

Well now you've learned not to run around after your boss like a lapdog and not to stay up late and be available at all hours.

None of that makes you a good employee, just makes you easily exploitable.

This. These types of awards and cultures are designed to exploit the good girl tendency. To dangle the carrot of approval and praise to secure behaviours that benefit the business, but harm the individual in the long run (unpaid overwork). It taps in that desire coded into you during childhood schools years that you must work hard, turn in your paper on time, and nothing validates more than an A+ from teacher.

Poddledoddle · 01/08/2024 10:42

I think its odd that she bigger you up into thinking you might win it, of she truly felt this other person was most deserving. I'd scale back my effort and not get so excited about work awards (they're similar to school certificates, aimed at making kids work harder for measly merit or bit of paper)

Jumpingoffthefence · 01/08/2024 16:46

As a manager it can be difficult to manage people who aren’t boundaried about their work. I appreciate people who plan and complete their work in paid hours. Usually I will support people to plan better so they aren’t regularly sacrificing their personal time. That development work adds to my load when it happens so I’m rarely showing extra gratitude.

Do your job well, work the hours your paid for and opportunities will come for you. If you’re consistently doing extra it reduces your hourly paid rate and you might be masking an understaffing issue.

beanii · 01/08/2024 19:11

Your boss would've written that whoever won.

BUT unless you do all the extra work as you know it'll lead somewhere, I wouldn't bother.

As you know full well, if you died tomorrow they'd have a job vacancy advert up by next week.

Life is too short to live to work.

DecoratingDiva · 01/08/2024 19:16

Your boss is doing the “look I’m a great boss by posting supportive things on LinkedIn” thing. It’s probably just meaningless posing and is not personal towards the winner or you.

But really you should rein in the additional hours as all it does is set the expectations that you will be the one they can turn to to work all night when nobody else will.

Loopytiles · 01/08/2024 19:18

Thank you very much @Sparklybanana ’The better award is your own time.’ I really needed that kind of advice today!

WeekendFreedom · 02/08/2024 06:46

PurpleHiker · 29/07/2024 09:49

A better comment would have been 'you had some tough competition, well done!' But I think your boss was just thoughtless. Try not to take it personally.

The boss doesn’t have to make a comment to protect everyone’s feelings, there was nothing wrong with the original comment if that’s how they felt. They just shouldn’t of built up OPs hopes

GinLover198 · 02/08/2024 08:01

“We work to live. We don’t live to work.”

Absolutely this!

vickylou78 · 02/08/2024 09:05

The comment wasn't about you. You don't know what gave your colleague the edge. Maybe will be you next time.