Grandparents

[2ndmum2be]

Hi,

Looking for some unbiased advise as this has gone on so long.

We rent a house from my mum and dad. It was offered to us at a discounted rate of £850 6 years ago. The plan was they would make improvements it needed and eventually I'd would be signed over to my brother and myself.

They've done no improvements. Kitchen js the same one from 1980. It is a beautiful 4 bed house with alot of potential but unfortunately after paying the rent and large council tax for the area ect we have been living month to month.

A year after we moved in we had a baby and about a few months once I got back to work and after covid the rent was raised to £950.

We've always paid of course and not complained.. dispite broken promises ect it's fine we have made what we can of it.

But now I am mat leave with our 2nd. Finance are really rough this time round and I asked them for some help and the simply said no. No chance, will see what we can do but definitely not adjusting the rent. I even asked if we could have a small discount of what we are short by temporarily and when I'm back working we can pay it back.

Also for extra context, they are completely mortgage free and we were told the money we are paying is to help my dad's pension as he is self employed. But he has quit his job now, not found something else in a year but not claiming pension as he hopes to do something else. He told me to my face out rent money is now his pocket money to go drinking twice a week and he's currently in spain in an apartment they also own with my brother.

I don't mean to sound spoilt and entitled but it just hurts, even with thier grandbabies they just don't seem to care if we can't even afford to eat.

What are your thoughts? I've had some people say to stop paying 😅😂 but my mum isn't the most maternal and for you to say well she won't kick you and her grandchildren out...hmm I think she would. Same mother that when I was pregnant with our first...even after convincing us to move in here calling it a family home when I told her the nurse she advised we sign on for a council house 🙄🙈

We are stuck! The rent is cheap for the size and we couldn't find that anywhere else at the moment but it's also too high to be able to save for anything 🥺

Advice ?

Thank you

I would try to find somewhere else to live. Both sides in this arrangement seem to feel they are being taken advantage of while doing the other party a favour. I think your parents could help you more but they don't have to. You and your DH need to be responsible for yourselves (might you be entitled to any assistance with housing costs if you had a proper tenancy, not with family?) And take the white goods you have purchased with you.

There isn't much available for cheaper than £850 a month

“They are providing a home for your whole family” - this makes it sound as though they’re doing it out of the goodness of their hearts when the fact is they’re getting almost £12k annually (tax-free maybe if it’s an unofficial agreement and they’re not declaring earnings) from it whilst spending nothing in terms of money or time and the house is in substandard condition.

Yes the op and partner are responsible for their own financial situation but it doesn’t sound like the parents are really doing her that big a favour.

I mean they must be or OP would surely have rented elsewhere either at the beginning or at any point during the 6 years she has lived there?

What is your experience of the rental market or the enforcement of the law? I have sight of 4 sheds with beds from my window. As well as renting relations and an estate agent friend....
It's cheap she chose to have a second baby although she was struggling

I'd move on Op, the house will only get worse and any money you spend on it will be wasted if your DPs won't pay you back. Low rent sounds good but if you they deceided to sell you could find yourself homeless

But they are providing a home to her whole family. If op can go find cheaper for the same size then why doesn't she?

I am a landlord who pays their taxes 😃

Hi OP,

It is concerning that your parents put your rent up and might make you wary that this could happen again in future.

I also rent from family and these are some risks you need to consider carefully:
Your parents might decide to sell if it suits their plans better (it sounds like they have already gone quiet on giving you the house).

The house might one day have to be sold to pay for care costs. Your parents won’t have a choice about this if they require the money to pay for care as social services won’t cover their costs while they have spare properties.

The plan to gift the house to you and your brother sounds problematic. I assume that he doesn’t live there? Why would he want to own half of a house that you live in? Will you be paying him rent for his half? What if he wants his money out to buy his own property?

I have an idea that could work well for both you and you family that you could perhaps talk to them about while you are on maternity to mull over. This suggestion is based on the fact that your parents have previously said that they intend to gift you and your brother the property but they are currently enjoying the income and don’t seem in a rush to change that.

You could ask your parents to provide you with a private mortgage. In this case your parents would (probably using a solicitor) put the house into your name and have a charge registered against it with land registry for the value. This is like a mortgage lender that holds a charge against a mortgaged property. Then you continue to pay monthly but your payments are deducted from what you owe for the house. Keep careful records e.g. print online banking statements or a signed ledger book to show payments. Your parents might choose to allow you to do this interest free. If they charge interest this will be taxable.

This method (private mortgage) will allow you to buy the house at a rate you can afford while giving your parents a long term income. E.g. if the house is worth 300k that would be 300 payments of £1000. If your parents don’t live long enough for you to have paid off the debt then the remaining part would be part of their estate. E.g. if you still owe 100k at the time of their deaths then they still own that 100k chunk of the house as an asset.

I believe that the house would be protected from being sold to pay for care costs (as you would own it and they have given you a loan) and you would just have to continue paying the £1000 to their accounts each month but you should get proper advice from a solicitor.

If your parents decline the private mortgage idea I would have a think about how you can get on the property ladder ASAP with the lowest deposit e.g. shared ownership or any new help to buy schemes. You need some security.

A PP suggested OP could look into getting a lodger to help pay the rent. But I don’t think many lodgers would be keen to share with a couple and their two young children. And quite likely not be allowed to bring their partner round. (But if OP did allow lodger to have partner over, that’s also be difficult).

Also in many areas it would put the owners in breach of HMO additional licensing laws, if there were a couple plus an unrelated adult living in their property.

Even though the lodger would be renting from OP, the head landlord would be held responsible for allowing 2+1 people to live there without a license.

And making money from it, saying they are providing it makes it sounds as though they’re letting her live there free of charge - they are charging almost £1k per month.

I don’t think anyone has said she’ll find the same size cheaper but plenty of us have pointed out she could downsize and have a property in decent condition. Also after spending money on making it habitable, letting fees, tax (if not already paying/more tax on increased rental income) etc the parents may not make much more overall than the reduced rent they’re currently charging.

Why should they accept a sub-par home that no one else would live in just because their parents own it? It’s been years and promises to make improvements haven’t been fulfilled. You wouldn’t give a shitty landlord the same support.

I know no one would ever think of it as it is such an amazing thought but they could have just moved into their own independent property?

They probably would have 6-7 years ago if they’d known their parents were BSing about making any improvements.

You need to move before the relationship sours completely. Get a 3 bed in a cheaper area and save your sanity.

And after about a year and definitely 2, they would have known this. So they've had a good few years since to choose to move out, but have chosen to stick with the status quo - presumably because they feel this was better than the alternative. It only doesn't suit them now because they have (entirely predictably) less money due to OP being on maternity leave.

If you are unhappy move out. Thing's won't change.

Hi all,

Just posting an update, found myself back here and this was my first time posting and perhaps I didn't explain it clearly enough.

I literally put I didn't mean to sound entitled. The advice I was seeking was for the relationship not the money and that I was hurt by it and was looking for support on how to best manage it. Just moving out was not an option.

We were renting privately before we were persuaded to move into there house (1 of 4 properties they own) as stated it is mortgage free as they all are and of course they have done incredibly well and worked incredibly hard for that.

My concerns were more emotional than financial and it hurt. We never did get a relief on the rent. Even if it was just a month 😅 but that's a life lesson I suppose. We have made it through somehow 🤣 as everyone does.

We have always had a problem with Rats in the winter but this year they entered the home rather than the cavity wall. At our own expense we discovered a huge hole under a kitchen unit and at our own expense got this sorted. Meanwhile the kitchen cupboard has no bottom now 😅 as well as alot of breakages in the old kitchen. Long story short they are replacing the kitchen. So that's nice 👍🏼

It's a tricky situation, paying cheaper rent is great for a house this size and we wouldn't find any better other than a flat for the cost in our area but it's old and worn with alot of issues assumed we can cover with not paying alot of rent. Despite it not being 'up to code ' you could say.

Anyway just wanted to say thank you to those with proactive advice it's really appreciated. Also the one about the inheritance and the paying the rent off towards a loan is fantastic! I didn't know that! I did try and suggest that when the rent was risen during COVID but it was a no but I didn't approach it that way. Will have a think for the future. With cost of living from all sides including their own I'm sure another rise will come to claim back the cost of the new kitchen.

Thanks again!