To be irritated at MIL saying “it’s your favourite person” to LO

[Fizzyducklings]

Just that really. I’d love to hear from MILs, is this something you would innocently say to your GC without meaning anything by it? Or would you be more self-aware that maybe it’s not appropriate or necessary to refer to oneself as the child’s favourite?

YABU - it’s an innocent comment
YANBU - it's not appropriate/necessary

It's innocent, it would be lovely to have your grandparent say something like that.

People talk nonsense to babies, you are over thinking . A few minutes ago I was saying something similar to my cat

I think you’re really over thinking this, unless there’s a big back story

Personally I think it's fine, and nothing to get worked up about. Her saying it doesn't make it true even if it does iritate you.

Wildly overthinking it. FWIW my kids Nannie is their favourite person too 🤣

@FunIsland there is a long backstory, so I think I do read into every little thing now as a result.

i have 2 GC.. and i tell them both that they are my 'favourite little man'.. not at the same time.

i'm also trying to teach them to say 'nana' first too

i personally would not say the line 'it's your favourite nana' because i might be but i might also not be and im not messing with a babies head.

Yanbu. That's very undermining to you and your partner.

How is it not 'appropriate'?

It's a silly, friendly comment, not a sentence passed down in a court of law!

None of my dc's grandparents would say that, it's a weirdly competitive thing to say. Even if it's a joke, why would you joke about competing with who loves who the most.

Fizzyducklings
there is a long backstory

Naturally.
So why start your post Just that really
when there's obviously going to be a drip feed?

I think it’s hard to say whether YABU without the back story to be honest

Did you have a pocketful of ham?

This is important.

You'll always be their favourite person for the 20 seconds it takes them to eat it 😁

My MIL only visits us once every 6-8 weeks… she walks in and always asks our primary age DC if they’ve missed her 🧐

They usually just potter about playing or answer no. She doesn’t do anything with (or for) them, so christ knows why she would think they give her any thought at all when she’s not directly in front of them 😂

Ignore the comment from your MIL OP, it won’t mean anything to your little one.

Meh! Some families are dead serious and others like to joke about all sorts of things 🤷‍♂️

@LaMarschallin I don’t actually want to get into the back story. But I was wondering if this specific little comment bothered me because of our history, but otherwise is this just a normal thing that people say. Basically wondering am I at a point now where I’m just paranoid and its a normal comment to make or is it in fact being competitive/odd

If there is a long backstory as you say then it looks like you want to be told YANBU.
For those of us not privy to the long backstory I'd say YABU. I am both a mother and a grandmother. As a mother I wouldn't have thought anything of my MIL saying that to my child, as a grandmother now, no I wouldn't say it. My gc has lots of favourite people. I'd like to think his parents are his favourite people and I'm somewhere on that list as well.
I honestly think it's an innocent comment but because you have some ongoing issues with your MIL you are hearing it as something else.

My DM and my DMIL for example are both very sensitive about not competing/comparing with each other. They'd never dream of hinting they think they're the best grandma. DM lives abroad and doesn't get to see us as often (but DC still love them equally) so it would be so insensitive if DMIL said something like that. She'd never though, she's way too tactful.

I'd think someone who makes a joke like that is probably generally a tactless person who makes unfunny "jokes" a lot

Fizzyducklings

Well, I remember teasing my in-laws by calling myself their "favourite DiL".
They were always very keen on fairness and looked briefly panicked before realising that - with 3 daughters and 1 son - I was their only DiL.

I wouldn't bother about your MiL's comment particularly, if that's what you're asking.

Ye the backstop you won't share is affecting your judgement

I was their only DiL.

Ah that's different and kind of sweet! We also do that all the time in my family. I've got a favourite husband, favourite daughter, favourite son, favourite niece (only got one of each!)

But op's MIL said favourite person so that does sound competitive

Telling an only child that they are your favourite person (or favourite boy/girl if there is one of each) is normal - though might irritate the parent who is their actual child!
Telling the child that they are the child's favourite is a bit dubious, tact-wise.

I think that's weird tbh.

You need to learn to let this stuff go… don’t allow your MIL to get under your skin and take up your valuable headspace.

I speak from experience.. my MIL used to really bother me (again a long back story) and I’d find myself thinking about her and getting annoyed all the time. Then I started re-training my brain - every time I thought about her I would say to myself “she is irrelevant to me” and would deliberately think about something else.

Eventually I stopped thinking about her and stopped being angry. Now when we see her I just have fun wondering what her latest batshiterry will be because I know I can laugh at her ridiculousness and not let it bother me.

You can’t change her, you can only change your reactions to her.

@comedycentral

you do realise the MIL is saying SHE is the child's favourite person, not that the child is the MIL's favourite person??