To be irritated at MIL saying “it’s your favourite person” to LO

[Fizzyducklings]

Just that really. I’d love to hear from MILs, is this something you would innocently say to your GC without meaning anything by it? Or would you be more self-aware that maybe it’s not appropriate or necessary to refer to oneself as the child’s favourite?

YABU - it’s an innocent comment
YANBU - it's not appropriate/necessary

😂

We're not a particularly tease-y family, but even I think that it's just a very normal jokey comment!

One of my in-law relatives tells all of us that we're his favourite, and when he calls he greets me with "hi! It's your favourite cousin!"

I really need to do this because it’s driving me mad. Glad to hear you were able to retrain your brain and now you can laugh about it. I hope I can get to that point!

Why are you so insecure that this threatens you?

My MIL always says this to DS (he's 7) and when he was about 6 she said it and he looked at me and winked (very theatrically) and said "oh yes nana"

@Fizzyducklings It's not what a nice person would say.

I sense trying to get one up on you is her prime motivation

not knowing the back story oits hard to say what I'd say but something like 'No. Don't be so silly battle axe Grandma, daddy/neighbour/grandad is DC's favourite person. Silly Grandma'

@Charlieiscool it’s not that I’m insecure about it, I just don’t have the patience anymore given the many overstepping and undermining incidents. But now it’s like any little thing irks me hence why I’ve asked about this

Ahh your DS sounds very sweet

Yes it’s really interesting because this is what my gut tells me. But equally I understand that others might make or view this comment more innocently - I suppose context and the type of relationship/people involved are key

Rightly or wrongly, I’m going to assume your MIL pisses you off in general and this is another example of that. Either way, I’d ignore it. You are your child’s mother, your baby’s “favourite person” can’t take that away from you.

A Grandchild is a very very special gift.

I've called my lot...Grannies babies, Grannies special girl/boy
all have special little individual nicknames that only I call them.

They still remember this even though they are much older now.

It's just something special between us all but their Mums are the most important person to them all.

Don't take it personally OP .

Well my eldest teenage Grandsons say to me often. " Granny you are my favourite ever person ".
I get cards and gifts with the same on

YANBU. It’s a strangely competitive thing to say. It’s not as if she said, “You’re my favourite person”, it’s the fact she’s twisting that and saying that your DC thinks she’s his favourite person. There’s a big difference.

I can’t think of any clever response except a snappy one, so maybe you could just do some subtle eye-rolling when she says this. I can’t imagine saying anything like that to a close relative’s baby.

Completely different to you declaring to your grandchildren that you're their favourite person.

Impossible to say without context. If she is generally a petty competitive person then yes it would grate. If clearly a joke then it wouldn't.

How did I know there's a back story and you don't like her?

My sister used to burst in going "here's your favourite human!" to my daughter every time she visited. It's just a silly thing people say. My daughter did (and still does) adore her to be fair.

So in isolation, no, I don't think this comment is a big deal. But it's obviously not in isolation and has obviously been muddied by some overstepping on your MIL's part in the past. Context is important.

Funny thing, my mother says it to my Bengal cat, who runs to sit on her lap when she comes over.

Christ

I'm going to hazard a guess that this is your first baby? Because in my humble experience after more than one child I couldn't GAF about stuff like this...

It can be innocent and perfectly normal chat, but it depends on who the audience is. My mum has a thing with my kids from when they were small where she’ll say “Best girl/boy!” and they reply “Best Grandma!” all of them knowing that they don’t actually have a favourite grandma.

Likewise. With knobs on.

If there’s a back story of her being a bit of a cow then I think you’re right that she’s trying to annoy you and get a reaction. And if she’s anything like my mum, if you question her about anything she’ll say you’re being over-sensitive and paranoid. You’re already wondering if you’re paranoid..

It's not what a nice person would say.

Oh give over @Fizzyducklings . In the vast majority of cases, that kind of humorous tease comes from a place of warmth and love.

If it were true your lo would be the one saying it! Your mil is just being silly and funny