Aibu to decline my child going to birthday party.

[Singlemamabear]

Hi,
it’s about my friends daughters birthday who’s turning 6. My friend initially inviteded me and my daughter to her birthday, she told me she will be going to a petting zoo and has booked a petting zoo package for 8 people. She told me her daughters already chosen 8 class mates so I would have to pay for my child’s ticket. The petting zoo was very very far so I couldn’t bring my daughter regardless.
its now been a few weeks I’ve heard nothing from her, she’s now texted me today and asked if me and my daughter would like to come to Lego land for her child’s birthday on Tuesday ( I guess she’s changed plans) I agreed to which she then texted me “ you took your daughter CBeebies land in a vclass for her birthday can we do that for Tuesday ? Can you please arrange that and we go halves? If anything I’ll pay”
(a vclass is a modern version of a limousine but with tv and PlayStation etc)
sorry but I think this was out of order. Yes I rented a v class for my daughters birthday but that’s my daughter and I paid ALL COSTS. I think it’s out of order she invites us and then asks me to pay half for a v class I didn’t ask for nor arrange for her child’s birthday ?! She keeps inviting me and my child to these birthday plans but wanting us to pay ontop. V classes are very expensive btw, it ranges from 500-1000 depending on trip and hours so why should I go halves for her daughters birthday ?! Bear in mind this is not my family, nor best friend just a friend. It’s really upsetting me and I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable.
i saved up my money to take my daughter to CBeebies land in a vclass and I didn’t expect a penny from anyone I invited. She’s inviting me last minute and asking me to pay ?! It’s really upset me honestly. I would never make anyone pay for anything on my daughters birthday and she also knows that in a child’s birthday you pay for everything hence why she paid for the class mates zoo tickets. (I’m not sure wether they went or not but she said she’s already paid for it )
And also asking me to arrange it I feel is very out of order when I’m already busy as it is being a mum.
I honestly want to end this friendship. Am I being unreasonable

I'd call her bluff and say "yeah it's an issue because I haven't the money. If you're happy to pay let me know the details" because I am betting she hasn't got the money either and she'll soon renege on that offer to pay "girl"

I do believe this is genuine as I’ve had people do this to me but I think it’s a family member not a friend.

I think you should just ignore. I suffer from anxiety and overthinking and this is exactly the thing I would post about! Stop over thinking and you know you are 💯 in the right so ignore her calls from now on

She’s expecting you to pay for it all .

I can’t wait to see her reply

The gas lighting of “stop making it something that it’s not “ is the worst tbh.

So cheeky!

I can't believe people are having a go at the OP about his she spends HER money! If she wants to spend £1K on her daughter's birthday that's her business and nobody else's. I bet loads of you have handbags you've spent more than £1K on. Or holidays that turned out to be shit. Or weddings that were a huge mistake. Just give it a rest.

Ha ha

I would die of embarrassment before I’d ask for something like this. The woman is having you on. Why on earth would you arrange and pay halves for her daughters v class. No chance love. Do not do that.

She is a crazy CF- you’ve done well for standing up to her. But… I do sort of agree with some of the other posters that parties in your circle seem to have escalated well above what is normal. It’s your money and your choice but as long as you know no-one will be expecting you to fork out that much on a kids party. Mine have always been at the more expensive end at the £4-500 mark plus cost for cake and food. You must have spent an absolute fortune if you did v class plus entrance plus food. If you’re loaded then crack on but don’t feel under pressure to always replicate.

It's so OTT though, the kid is 6. And obviously now the kids mum wants to be OTT. Ick, who even is like this in real life 😳

It seems to be a lot more popular now than when I was young! We're celebrating my nieces 7th birthday this weekend, at Sushi Samba! Why?!! Take the poor kids to Pizza Express not out for fancy overpriced sushi

Maybe she doesn't realise how expensive it is? I had never heard of it and was shocked when you wrote the price...

@PawsAndReflection I think these seem more about the parents than the kids

Do you honestly think I’m spending £500+ on your kid’s bday? Check your entitlement.

The “can there, Can there?” Comment made me laugh out loud!! Cannot be read without a Samuel L Jackson voice…. 😂😂😂

Haaaa my little boy (just turned 5) gets into a little ball of excitement just to go out the garden gate and sit in his dad’s van for 5 mins!!! So enthusiastic of the world at this age!!!! He’d lose his head if I mentioned going to tesco in it!!!!

Yes, I thought that too. If they are having those sort of treats at five or six what will you be doing for their 18th? Buying them their own private jet?

ITA --💯%
Good luck getting anyone to admit to it. It's much more fun for MNers to castigate someone because they spent money on a child. I guess some get their jollies where they can. shrug

Spending 1K for a child's BD is preferable to me than spending 1K on a wedding, a hen-do or a girl's/guy's holiday.

This. a pp earlier said that some MNetters spend that much on a handbag, or a holiday or updating their wardrobes.
It may seem like a lot for a kid's party and more than most could afford but she's spending it on her kid, to do something special for them, which is her right. I've seen it before, if a person thinks their child has difficulties or is struggling a bit in some way, sometimes having a good birthday party helps lift their mood and makes them feel more optimistic and helps them build friendships at school. She thought it was worth it.
The post was really about the CF
OP there are any number of reasonable excuses to get out of this and quash her expectations firmly but politely. Hope you manage to navigate it. Best of luck to your DC.

Your friend thinks you are rich and can be her cash cow. She’s not a friend she’s a user.

Ignore everyone going off on a sidetrack of what you’ve spent on what. Maybe they should donate the cost of their next holiday/house upgrade/night out to a food bank if they are worried about child poverty.