Neighbours kids playing outside early…

[FooFightersFan]

It’s the school holidays and I appreciate that by starting this thread I’m going to sound like a right grump, but here goes…

Our garden backs onto two houses, both of which are owned by couples with young kids. All four parents work from home full time.

The kids (youngest 3, all primary school aged) regularly play outside in the gardens. The houses are new build with literally no plants or shrubs. Just lawn surrounded by fence / brick walls. The noise just bounces around as there is nothing to ‘absorb’ it.

I accept that they are noisy when they play because they are young, energetic and kids!

Now that the school summer holidays are well under way, it’s become apparent that getting up and out into the garden at 8am is their routine. And they shout. A lot.
Then at 10am they go inside and there is silence for a while.

I can deal with it, I have 2 kids and I appreciate that’s what kids are like.

and here’s the “but”…

My son works full time and his room overlooks our back garden. He works 12 hour shifts a lot of days, in hospitality. Most shifts mean he is home around 11pm and in bed by midnight. He’s getting increasingly fed up with the neighbour kids’ morning routine.

During term time, the outside playing is just at the weekend. But now it’s a daily occurrence due to the holidays, I really feel for my son, because being woken up 90 mins before he needs to be up for his next shift is pretty miserable.

WIBU to message or pop round to my neighbours and see if they can encourage their kids to be quieter (a big ask) or to not let them out before 9:00.

I’ve become that grumpy neighbour 😩

I would definitely ask someone if they could change their behaviours if they were unreasonable (which I appreciate is subjective) but the vast majority on this thread seem to think 8am is a perfectly reasonable time for children to be playing outside as long as not screaming all the time.

The proof will remain to be seen. OP may have asked and think it all went well, and it did, and those children will stick perfectly to her request. Or that neighbour may have closed the door and said to their partner, 'you will never believe what that cheeky lady from no.3 came and asked, she wants our children to be silent until 9 so her precious little 19 year old 'baby' can sleep in. I think I would have been so shocked that I would have nodded and smiled to OP's face, and then been 'what the hell, why didn't I just say sorry, but no, your request is not reasonable'.

And I'm pretty fussy about noise, the building work next door goes over the permitted time and I get in a right grump, and my husband tells me to be a bit more tolerant. And yes, compromise is valid thing, we previously agreed with our neighbours if they could please do quiet jobs between 1and 2pm so baby could nap, and in return we would have no issue with them working over the legal hours until 8pm. But I'm not sure where OP has compromised?

If he’s not it’s no one else’s responsibility though. There is enough of a window to get 8 hours before any children playing at 8am.
If he chooses to stay up for hours that’s got nothing to do with the neighbours living a perfectly normal lifestyle.

I wasn't talking about 'choosing to stay up for hours'. Many people have difficulty sleeping even when tired and therefore can't get a full sleep in 8 hours. And why the sneering about a 'perfectly normal' lifestyle?

So much disdain on this thread for people whose waking hours are in any way different from the preconceived norm.

I am a nurse and work nights, I just put up with general life.
We have builders, road works and all sorts that start before 0800.
Your son can sleep through ot.

You have put up with a lot.
Building work and residential road works shouldn't start before 8am.

If it’s ok for kids to be out and screaming at 8 am then it would be ok for me to sit in my garden having a few wines with some music till 11pm. Works both ways.

Absolutely it does. Neither of those are unreasonable, as long as the playing and the music isn't too loud

Exactly.

Personally I can understand that 8am feels early, especially if they are shrieking at the top of their voices but it doesn't feel unreasonable enough to ask them to stop. If the parents work from home I wonder if 8 is the morning work zoom call so ironically having them in the house is too noisy?! If you have a good relationship with families maybe you could politely request that that until 9 it's a bit quieter but beyond that I think you/your son will have to live with it. PS Earplugs are a good idea.

8am IS early.

Maybe go out every night from 9-11pm and sit in your garden screeching to loud music. Better still, invite friends round for play dates and party in the garden

The '8am is not early' brigade would have food for thought

I've always been tiered and low iron actually my sleep since cancer has been in stretches of 2 to 3 hours

The children are only screeching, not to loud music. And nighttime hours are 11pm to 7am so them screeching from 8am is comparable to you screeching until 10pm. Go ahead without the music as that's fair enough.

I don't agree with screeching or shrieking or screaming or excessively loud music at any hour myself. I do think it's fair enough that if children are playing out from 8am and making noise then adults or teens can be outside making similar noise until 10pm though.

My neighbours do occasionally have outside gatherings and are noisy in the evening, and teens are playing noisy ball games at 9pm or later.

I've always been tiered and low iron actually my sleep since cancer has been in stretches of 2 to 3 hours

Fair dos, that sounds hard. I'd struggle to keep going on that little sleep.

In what world is screaming not too loud?

I think 8am is too early to play in the garden. I have a 3 and 5 year old, the 3 year old wanted to play outside at 7am but I won't let him til at least 9 because I know they sometimes shout. I wouldn't let them pay outside at 8, not fair to the neighbours so YANBU. The trouble is there's not a lot you can do about it. Can he keep his bedroom window closed and try ear plugs, I'd rather that that go knocking on their door.
I work shifts myself till midnight but don't have that trouble as my kids get me up early in the morning anyway

This is how I'm playing it. I don't actually want to be in my garden that late but lack of consideration on one side means less need for curtailing of normal activities on the other.

If your Son is woken up could he maybe go into another room to finish his sleep where he can't hear the kids playing? If it's only an hour before he's due to get up anyway even a snooze on the sofa would benefit him.

Why do other people in other households have to be quiet for someone else. Seriously 🙄

Is that supposed to be funny?

thats a ridiculous comparison. The hours for which people need to be considerate is 11pm until 7am. I would get if it was screaming all day but I highly doubt it

But no one said it wouldn’t. The hours for consideration for noise is 11pm until 7am so the OP has no leg to stand on

The hours for consideration to noise are between 11am and 7pm. The OP sounds completely entitled and if her son at 19 can’t complain himself without Mummy’s help it’s a joke

Totally agree. She wanted everyone to agree with her. I can’t believe she had the nerve to ask them to quieten down. That’s so unfair as it’s going to make the parents feel anxious if they are a bit too loud. Even if her sons got to sleep at 12am he would still be getting 8 hours sleep. Can’t believe how entitled she is. I hope if he wakes them up when returning home late at night that they ask him to not bring his car back until 8am. The OP is a typical Karen

wht Did you bother asking any of us our opinion then? So basically you were moaning about noise but hadnt even tried ear plugs etc and decided to complain anyway.
if you had even tried solutions first but you are way too entitled. Can’t get over the cheek of you and your son

Seems like the OP just wanted to moan. She didn’t even try any of the suggestions before complaining. She is so entitled

Isn’t she!

If I were the neighbour I’d have had a right laugh about a mother of an adult son coming to sort out her little boy’s problem for him!