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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Noises in the night

59 replies

Papergang · 24/07/2024 23:53

Was woken up in the middle of the night last night by some noises and banging which sounded like they were in the second bedroom on our floor then moved onto our landing. My heart was racing as it sounded like an animal (or person!) moving about.

I woke my husband up and told him I thought there was something in the house. He got really angry with me for waking him up said ‘what do you want me to do!? you really want me to get up!?’ Then stomped about turning lights on shouting ‘what are you talking about’ and opening doors before returning to the bedroom and calling me silly and cruel for waking him up.

I think I thought he would want to protect us? I was quite scared. Should I just have gone and checked it out myself? (22w pregnant if relevant) Was I unreasonable for waking him up?

OP posts:
IneedAbiggerWindchime · 24/07/2024 23:55

Of course you weren't unreasonable. You were worried and thought something was in the house. You're a team if something like that happens and two is better than one.

Sisterdeloris · 24/07/2024 23:56

I assume there was nobody or no animals. Nobody wants to be waken up so you can understand why he was in a bad mood. At least he got up and went looking.

FourNeedWeek · 24/07/2024 23:57

It’s totally impossible to tell whether you were unreasonable without hearing what the noises were. If they were run of the mill bumps and creaks and the plumbing, yes, you were unreasonable. If there were strange, loud noises that genuinely sounded like an intruder, then no, you weren’t.

Pippa12 · 24/07/2024 23:59

I think most people are grumpy being woken from sleep in the middle of the night. Did he hear the noises? Was there anything there?

I wouldn’t read to much into him being prickly at being woken up.

ByCupidStunt · 25/07/2024 00:12

I've wouldn't been annoyed too. Any one would.

ByCupidStunt · 25/07/2024 00:12

Annoyed to be woken up I mean.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 25/07/2024 00:15

Oh God I have to admit I'd be cranky at being woken up too, especially if I had work tomorrow.

I don't need anyone else to 'protect' me so I'd go and look myself, but obviously if it was an intruder I'd scream the house down for DH 😁

Which under those circumstances would be fair enough obviously.

ChirpyBee · 25/07/2024 00:16

Yes I'd also be annoyed being woken up because of your paranoia.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 25/07/2024 00:19

Totally unreasonable.

If you were on your own you'd have had no option to investigate by yourself, and even if you had the decency to leave DH asleep and it was something sinister I'm sure your screams would have alerted him to that fact quickly enough.

I warn every single partner or person I'm liable to fall asleep in front of emphatically not to try and wake me. I'm beyond cantankerous and have been known to lash out while half-asleep. Sympathies entirely with DH I'm afraid.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/07/2024 00:19

Get some rat poison for the loft .

x2boys · 25/07/2024 00:28

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/07/2024 00:19

Get some rat poison for the loft .

This having lived through a rat problem they can be incredibly noisy and the fuckers get everywhere.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/07/2024 00:28

I hope he’s not going to create like that and stomp round like a dinosaur when the baby wakes you up for a their night feeds.

DeadlyKnightshade · 25/07/2024 00:39

Oh I was hoping for a ghost story.

EmoCourt · 25/07/2024 00:46

x2boys · 25/07/2024 00:28

This having lived through a rat problem they can be incredibly noisy and the fuckers get everywhere.

Show quote history

I can also testify to the fact that a squirrel infestation in the atttic sounds like racehorses galloping about.

Louise303 · 25/07/2024 00:52

Papergang · 24/07/2024 23:53

Was woken up in the middle of the night last night by some noises and banging which sounded like they were in the second bedroom on our floor then moved onto our landing. My heart was racing as it sounded like an animal (or person!) moving about.

I woke my husband up and told him I thought there was something in the house. He got really angry with me for waking him up said ‘what do you want me to do!? you really want me to get up!?’ Then stomped about turning lights on shouting ‘what are you talking about’ and opening doors before returning to the bedroom and calling me silly and cruel for waking him up.

I think I thought he would want to protect us? I was quite scared. Should I just have gone and checked it out myself? (22w pregnant if relevant) Was I unreasonable for waking him up?

No especially when pregnant you could have had a break in been knocked over anything could have happened. This happened to us a couple of years back strange noises and grumpy husband not wanting to wake up.Actually told me I was imaging it I would not leave it I looked out the bathroom window and I man went out our gate on a bike. He was startled left a rain jacket on the ground had to open the lock on the gate. We have cameras so he would have had to go in next door and used a blind spot to try and open the downstairs toilet window brought his bike over also.I could not sleep for a while after you could actually hear him breathing on the camera. Went back through footage he actually tried on the 17th December the gate to our back garden is at our front I heard the noise but just thought it was a neighbour. got him on camera out the front and he came back 10 days later on the 27th december to try get in. My son had been to a wedding was a bit tipsy so slept on the sofa so there was no alarm on. Did not care about anything being stolen but a person trying to avoid being arrested would lash out.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/07/2024 00:55

DeadlyKnightshade · 25/07/2024 00:39

Oh I was hoping for a ghost story.

i thought it was going to be about something else. 😉, but I’ve got a filthy mind. 🤣🤣🤣

IneedAbiggerWindchime · 25/07/2024 00:56

If there had been someone and you'd got hurt, I bet he'd have been the first to chastise you for not waking him up.

Pinkbonbon · 25/07/2024 00:56

Dunno what's going on with these responses.

Your partner is a dick.

I'm grumpy when woke too but that's different if it's to tell me there might be someone in the house!

Dunno why you want a baby with this asshole, cowardly loser of a man tbh. Think the burglar did you a favor. I'd be more scared of your shitty husband than a break in tbh.

I'd be getting away from him now potentially, before the baby comes and you're too knackered.
He owes you a serious apology if he intends to remain your partner.

Don't have babies with angry men.

CherryBlossom321 · 25/07/2024 01:06

I’ve woken my DH before when hearing noises. It’s always amounted to nothing, e.g. birds on the roof, but he’s always been equally as concerned as I am, and keen for me to feel safe. No enjoys being woken up, but if the person you love feels worried or vulnerable, the default in a healthy relationship is to offer reassurance.

Louise303 · 25/07/2024 01:48

You can never be too careful I have lived on my street 21 years just these two years back we have had attempted breakins one seen on camera. Another and this has me more careful I never knew what could of happened. Last summer me out the front watering flowers at about 3am. I was back and forward getting water did not think anyone was about. We got a knock from police a couple of days later did we notice anything on that night. Two doors down from us had a break in he was on holiday at the time. Again went back to that night looked at the footage two male voices on my camera saying is it slowing down they noticed a vehicle. One of my neighbours orders from a dairy comes same time most nights.

FarmGirl78 · 25/07/2024 01:58

@Louise303 Please tell me you mean 3pm? Or I'm not sure if you were watering flowers at 3am and there was no burglar but the police thought you were one. Is the dairy the vehicle? I'm so confused!!

Shineabrightlight · 25/07/2024 07:10

Well I think you were perfectly justified in waking him up. As another pp mentioned you would think he would have been concerned that someone had broken in. Or that there was some infestation in your house.

I know it's not pleasant to be woken up from sleep but when there is good cause then it sometimes has to happen. You are supposed to be a partnership so there was as much onus on him to investigate this as on you.. In fact more because your pregnancy made you more vulnerable to harm if it had been a burgler.

I also agree it doesn't bode well for when the baby arrives and his willingness to help during the night.

Adviceneeeeded · 25/07/2024 07:39

Yanbu. If I woke my dh up thinking something awful was happening he would spring into action. And if it turned out to be nothing he would be happy it was fine and go back to sleep.

Being annoyed at being woken up. Good luck when a baby arrives!

Pinkbonbon · 25/07/2024 11:36

That's a good point too that pp made! How does he intend to handle the night feeds? Ah wait...he doesn't.

Seriously op, when people show you who they are, believe them. Don't hang around hoping this fud will turn into a half decent man. Because he isn't and he won't.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/07/2024 11:38

Hope this isn’t a taste of what’s to come when the baby arrives. Something you need to discuss now, I think.