The "baby is too cold!" Comment

[Misunderstoodmama]

Why does it bother me so much? Maybe there's an underlying feeling of not properly knowing my baby's need and someone else has had to step in. BUT I know she's not cold! I have a 7 week old, and there has been a heatwave this weekend, yet when I've come into the room with my in-laws I've repeatedly found baby girl wrapped in a blanket, I've made it clear it's not needed and that she's quite warm in general. I should just ignore it, but does this bother anyone else?

YANBU and you shouldn’t ignore it, she’s your baby. I’d just unwrap her and comment on her being too warm and move on, don’t leave it open to discussion

No, you shouldn't ignore them physically wrapping your baby in a blanket, when you've told them not to.

Unwrap her- cold babies cry, you’d know! Overheating a baby is not a good idea

This drives me mad. Also seeing babies wrapped up in far too many layers so they're all hot and sweaty. It's 25 degrees, they don't need to be in a snow suit with a blanket!! I always kept DS cooler than most people seemed to but he was absolutely fine and perfectly happy.

Many years ago my dh actually manhandled fil from our home for repeatedly wrapping ds up in his cot. Went up to check on him after fil had been up to say goodnight.. Absolutely swaddled and dripping with sweat. Idiot..

I get this all the time but via comments to the baby about their feet being cold. Yes, it's because she pulls her socks off! Every time!

Yes so true!!! - " oh dear poor thing you are cold, aren't you"

Cold babies cry, overheated babies don’t! I can’t stand seeing babies that are SO wrapped up, there’s no need. I have a 4 month old that has been sleeping in just a vest over the past week.

I have a fan in in what ever room my 7 week old is in at the moment and she's in a vest I might throw a light muslin blanket of her legs but that's about it over heating a baby can kill them but if they are cold it won't hurt so there's your answer

ughh this gives me flash backs! I feel for you. Set boundary’s now! The first time my MIL did some thing I wasn’t happy about, I called her out on it straight away!!! Made a massive song and dance just to prove a point. Next time anyone comments I would pull a face look them straight in the eye and say NO they are fine thank you! Take that blanket straight off. I only ever took advice from midwife on aftercare appointments. They mean no harm but don’t have that added stress. When I had my first, DH nan came over and said to me do you find it hard keeping a house, husband and now a baby? Looking at me pittifully, I was so taken back! She didn’t mean anything but it but iv never forgotten it.

Stuff like this is the reason mothers get PND!
Your baby your rules, I tell people straight now. I tried to be polite but I'd get sarcastic comments or suggestions.

The most irritating was babies are allowed to cry when I tended to their needs to which my reply was ' I hope no one ignored you if your upset and can't tell us why'

Now I just say no they are not warm please leave them alone. We are the parents and if you'd like to keep visiting I suggest you listen.

Explain to them that it is as bad for the baby to be too hot as too cold.
I remember a health visitor saying this.

I totally agree with all the above, set boundaries now otherwise you will get so stressed at the thought of seeing them. And I’m talking from experience unfortunately. It’s hard and awkward to stand up to family members but you will pay for it in the long run. Save yourself the stress!

It’s more dangerous for the baby to be too hot than too cold. Besides, the weather this weekend means “too cold” is not bloody likely!!! Baby is maybe a bit chilly in the air con, but not life threatening Baltic temperatures.

You can ignore this or tell them to mind their own business, but I wouldn’t if it’s someone who you will be expecting to babysit for you whilst the baby is still a baby. They need to clearly understand the risks of overheating. Safe sleep guidance might help if you need some science to back you up.

My 4 month old has been topless throughout the heatwave. He was getting so hot and UK houses seem to be made to trap heat.

I also only swaddled to keep baby still and calm otherwise they get hot.

Sounds like they are being abit controlling.

I didn't know they don't cry when they're hot, she has been quieter than usual, that's scary

It is FAR more dangerous for a baby to be too hot than too cool. Your in-laws are daft, and I wouldn't be leaving her with them.

My in laws tried that with me when my child was only born, it was the start of a string of put downs which ended up with post natal depression for me and a miserable maternity leave. Nip the nonsense in the bud and stand up for yourself x

This is so common and so stupid. I don't know why the older generation love to overheat babies that aren't even theirs

Those nosy people should try keep a hat or socks on a baby, an impossible task

Yes this comment is so bloody annoying! Have they met a baby before?? They all love pulling socks off but me being a negligent mother is apparently more likely a scenario

It took me a while to get out of the habit of wanting to wrap my GC up more than they were. We lived in less insulated houses, with inadequate heating etc, so our babies were more covered. It isn't always meant with malice. It was only when Anne Diamond's baby died of SIDs that the message was put out about it being more dangerous to be too hot. There was still the idea that you got a cold because you were cold. Explain it to them and make it clear that it isn't negotiable.

They are referring to the saying 'cold babies cry, hot babies die'.
I think the older generations tend to be like this OP. I've rolled my eyes so many times at my parents/ in-laws commenting on my children being 'freeezziiinnggg' 🙄 Ignore them, trust your gut.

Thank you, yes I was but I didn’t want to sound too scary! But very true

Hi mamas, so I have an 8 week old baby girl. As a new mama after a tragic stillbirth I am aware and trying not to spoil my baby (but it's too hard not too!) but as a newbie I am questioning everything I'm doing..how much attention I should give to her crys, she's crying unless I'm playing with her, or feeding her, she wants all my attention. My husband says I respond too quickly and that should let her cry a little bit to see if she settles
What advice do you have

Okay, you need to hear this loud and clear YOU CANNOT SPOIL A NEWBORN. They need you to respond to them. Crying is their only method of communication to let you know they are hungry, tired, cold, have done a poo or need a cuddle. My DC's spent most of the first 3 months attached to me - they are not spoilt children because of it. Read up on the fourth trimester.
I am so sorry for your loss and enjoy your baby 💗