The "baby is too cold!" Comment

[Misunderstoodmama]

Why does it bother me so much? Maybe there's an underlying feeling of not properly knowing my baby's need and someone else has had to step in. BUT I know she's not cold! I have a 7 week old, and there has been a heatwave this weekend, yet when I've come into the room with my in-laws I've repeatedly found baby girl wrapped in a blanket, I've made it clear it's not needed and that she's quite warm in general. I should just ignore it, but does this bother anyone else?

Also babies have bad circulation. Hands and feet feeling cold doesn't mean the baby is cold overall

Thank you! Just realised I posted this in the wrong place (still getting the hang of the website) thank you happiertimesahead I guess my question is also how do I get anything done😅

Ergh , nothing changes ! 36 years ago I used to carry mine on my front. I’m a very hot person so they'd get lots of my body heat . I still remember people telling me they needed a hat or whatever, including random strangers !

Tell them cold babies cry hot babies die.

I have this. Now 7mo but always why no hat/socks/jumper etc. He's a warm baby! Literally a little radiator and always has been.

My usually lovely and well meaning MIL was very concerned about the socks in particular. Left him with her for a few hours last week as I needed to go to an appointment, came back to baby in just his nappy. She was checking him and he was sweating so just kept taking layers off, she couldn't believe it but she was sensible to go off checking his back/chest etc rather than insisting on covering him up. I know she's actually sensible hence feeling comfortable to leave him with her. She acknowledged he'd probably been like that from the start and apologised 🤣. Genuinely she'd been checking him with a thermometer incase of temp but he was fine, just warm as per.

@Misunderstoodmama you get things done by having a sling or.carrier - she sleeps cosy on you, you potter.about doing what you want

I had a baby in August 2003 very hot heatwave ! My mum had got baby a shawl that she loved so much and insisted on wrapping him in it , this combined with me not being able to get him to latch on meant he went floppy. Luckily my midwife was just round the corner and came and got him to latch but I can't believe she did that or that I let her! I was young but really don't need blankets in this heat.

Do you think it's a bad idea to wear a baby sling in the heat?? Because it's really hot - I'm really hot therefore she must be too, but that adds to my question of what to do when I can't put her down?

@Misunderstoodmama I've been using a sling in this weather. I take my t-shirt off and just have my bra on (in the house obviously) and you can just have baby in nappy. Your body against theirs actually regulated their temperature and slings are used loads in really hot countries so your baby should be fine x

@Misunderstoodmama you cannot spoil a newborn. It is not possible. In fact you cannot spoil a child of any age with love and affection. Follow your instincts and cuddle your baby... And encourage your idiot DH to do some reading on infant development.

I got told by a distant relative that my son was going to get hypothermia because I wouldn’t put him in his coat in the car seat. I tried to explain coats shouldn’t be used in car seat as there is research it is unsafe.

The worst comments are the “is mummy freezing you!”

Drives me mad. Awful for their immune systems to be overheated constantly. We always kept my DD cool, she's 3 now and last night she was in the outdoor cold water bath with my DH absolutely loving it. Literally wants to be outside whatever the weather. I would tell my in laws straight that it's downright dangerous to wrap baby up in a blanket in a heatwave!

You cannot spoil a newborn. They need you all day every day. You don’t leave them to cry as they can’t yet self settle. The more love the better.
When you’re not holding her where do you put her? It sounds like she could be windy if she doesn’t want to lay down? Will she sit in a little bouncy seat?

Also just wanted to add to @Twelve8Ts comment, it can be VERY normal for newborns to want to be with you 24/7 however for us it was a sign baby was in pain (tension in neck) and slight silent reflux. Every time I put him down he’d cry. It might be worth thinking about

No way baby is cold in these temperatures. Better for wake up cold than from overheating. That applies even in winter never mind a hot summer.

Yes and could also be tongue tie if not wanting to lay down / has tension in the neck. My second had tongue tie and NEVER wanted to lay down, unless on me, because tongue tied babies take in a lot of air when feeding which leads to lots of discomfort.

My DM did this with my eldest. I got so annoyed with her constantly telling me he was cold when I knew he wasn't, and then wrapping him up whenever I wasn't around.
Eventually I turned to her one day and said that if she bundled him up once more in this heat, I would bundle her up too. That actually workerd 😂

I told my mother in law "Cold babies cry, warm babies die" That shut her up. Stand up for your baby!

Hot babies DO cry … that’s a stupid, inaccurate comment from that poster!

Overheated babies DO cry! Thats a stupid, inaccurate, dangerous comment!

They are more likely to cry when cold, than when hot. This is because they become lethargic when hot.

Dangerous? Overheated newborn babies become more lethargic and less responsive, meaning they are unable too alert you that something is wrong. If they are too cold they will let you know. OP is talking about her baby during these warm summer days, not a cold winters night.
Have you heard the saying ‘Cold babies cry, warm babies die’?

When my babies were that age sleeping in our room we had a room thermometer. It always felt cold to us at the correct temperature. We used to call our bedroom the fridge.

Yes and no. If slightly hot they do cry, but if they get too hot they get lethargic and in some sad cases become extremely unwell / fatal. Where as if a baby is a cold they will let you know about it.

For example a cold sleeping baby will wake upset, where as a baby overheating will become too unwell to wake and cry alerting parents

Ah yes, the unsolicited and often incorrect advice given to parents of babies. I remember a family member telling me I should breastfeed LESS during a heatwave. I also remember being chastised by a stranger in the park because it was a bit chilly and my son kept pulling his woolly hat off. Eventually I just ignored people and did what I knew was best, but it took a little while to find my flow.

Re your husband. You will not spoil a baby (or toddler or indeed a child of any age) by responding to their cries. I had a few people suggest this to me, but it felt totally against my natural instincts and I have absolutely no regrets in refusing to conform to this line of thinking.