Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move house and schools due to a broken friendship?

77 replies

RedIvy18 · 23/07/2024 12:13

A few months ago I cut a close friend out of my life because she has been really horrible about other people as well as betraying my trust a few years ago. I had just has enough of her attitude and the way she never had anything nice to say about anyone (think stuff along the lines of saying that a friend has had too many kids and can't cope etc, or that another friend doesnt deserve their PHD due to financial help from parents.) I called her out and told her that I dont feel the same about our relationship anymore. She hasn't taken it well and has even refused to let her kids go to the same birthday party as my DH and DS were going to. He husband was horrible to me telling me to never contact them ever again when I offered to give their housekey back.

The problem is that she lives 3 doors down from me and her son will be in my child's year at school (starting Sep '26.) She has a close friend whose son will also be in my DS's year who has blocked me on social media etc since I cut her out (ironically this friend is one of the people ex friend has said the worst stuff about however isn't aware.)

My DS will be an only child and I feel very sad about the fact that school pickups, summer fairs and nativity plays etc will be marred by the presence of ex friend. I just feel that it'll be very uncomfortable. Ex friend already has a child at the school and I wouldn't put it past her to try to turn others against me.

AIBU to want to get away from her and the area, and not have to see her anymore? There are other good schools in our city.

OP posts:
RedIvy18 · 30/07/2024 18:46

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 29/07/2024 18:33

Well done OP on removing this so-called friend.
I can understand your anxieties but also think you would be best to stand your ground.
This woman is a nightmare and I’m sure that other friends (who I’d say are more like hostages!) wish they could be free of her - but for whatever reason they keep in with her to avoid what she has done to you.
You have a great DH, friends and family - I can already sense a bit of envy from this so-called friend. Add in heaps of low self-esteem - which is not your problem.
Once in the gate, especially at such a young age, kids do actually get on with it. They make their own friends and soon forget instructions about not talking to this boy or girl based on the ramblings of an unhinged parent.
I would bet money that this woman does not have a single friend she has met since school. She sounds like she is still bowling around the playground.
If this school is your choice for your son, send him there.
While it’s awful this woman is breaking confidences let the friends in her company do something about it. Don’t lower yourself. One thing you will want to teach your son is not to give into a bully so don’t cave to this one.
Let her keep digging and carry on having a fabulous life!

Thanks for this. I'm starting to feel better about it all although still very sad! Your analysis of her is scarily accurate.
You are right about standing up to bullies , I always have and shouldn't stop now, especially now that I have a DS.

OP posts:
RedIvy18 · 30/07/2024 18:47

DefyingGravitas · 29/07/2024 08:48

You’re actually in a strong position for a couple of reasons.

  • You’ve dissolved a friendship that’s toxic vs letting it continue - once you’re in the small world of primary school you’d be associated with her and there’s no way people won’t see her as a untrustworthy (at best) or nasty (at worst) gossip. At least you won’t be tarred with the same brush.
  • You’ve already learned how to get yourself out of toxic situations - it often takes a school gates situation for women to learn this slowly and painfully but you’ve already done it.
  • Move if you want to but even if you don’t have a big fall out like this, there’s always the random weird parents that leave kids out etc.
  • You might actually make friends with people that prefer to not be friends with the toxic ones - and she’ll certainly show herself up. The other people in your group probably do realise what horrible things she says about people because she’ll have said the same about others and also you!
  • Also - maybe she’ll leave you alone if she doesn’t want you to tell the others what she’s said. Probably not, but possible!

Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread