AIBU to hope for a positive thread on lovely husbands?

[Blondiebeachbabe]

My first husband was okay on the surface, but little did I know that he was cheating for the whole of our 20 year relationship. There was some violence also.

My second DH is so amazing. I’m so in love with him 16 years in. He’s twice the size of my first husband and has never laid a hand on me. So loving and funny.

what are your positive stories ?

Agree with this. Horrifically low bar.

I'm 59 and my hubby will be 64 next month. We first met in 2007 and officially married in 2011, it was the first marriage for us both.

I'm 5'1 and he's 5'9 and about 18 stone, ex-army bomb disposal. A proper machoman. Not once as he ever laid a finger on me and we very very rarely argue, we literally go years with no arguments. No kids by choice.

He's the greatest and I absolutely worship him and he knows it!

We have a very happy marriage, always laughing and joking, pulling faces etc. and even in the early hours he'll literally poke me awake and say ''hello you fat cow!'' and I'll reply with ''hello you balding bastard!''

He's absolutely lovely! I wouldn't have him any other way!

He's also a good hubby in the way he takes his fare share of housework, a new age man!

Also, as I'm physically disabled he's my official carer and brilliant with that too! Perfect! https://www.instagram.com/p/C3cbqi9t2CO/

My DH of 39 years is not perfect, no one is, but he's bloody amazing. He's the kindest person I know and would do anything to help some one who needed it. When I had cancer he really stepped up. He's rubbish on the housework front, but brilliant at doing the cooking. I know he loves me to bits. Absolutely the best thing I ever did was marrying him.

I don't have a husband-but I do have a lovely life partner. If I were to describe him - "he has never laid a hand on me" would not be the first thing that comes to mind.

I left my first husband and within 8 months was pregnant with my current husband’s child. There was no overlap, it all just happened very quickly (and accidentally in the case of the pregnancy!). On paper it should have been a disaster. But 15 years and 3 more children later, I can safely say I’ve got the best husband a person could hope for. He’s loving, supportive, kind and the best dad to our children. I don’t often openly sing his praises to people in real life because I think people would think I was making it up! But I truly feel like I won the lottery.

The problem is that some of these wonderful men aren't who we think they are. It seems smug on a site where there are women who might have added to this post 1, 2 or 5 years ago, only to now feel fooled that they trusted so much.
I could add DH is amazing. He's stood by my side for 30 years in sickness (I have a life limiting condition and have been in ICU on a ventilator several times), and in health. He's a great father, no baggage, etc. etc, but I never say never. Who knows what's around the corner?

What a strange thing to say. Of course nobody knows what’s around the corner. But I prefer to trust my husband is who he says he is and live in the now, than be thinking that he might let me down in the future. It’d be a sad life if people didn’t take others at face value until they know otherwise.

My husband is really fit and I find him really attractive. Like he's the husband I would have dreamed of looks wise since I was about 7. He looks a lot younger than me, which is a double edged sword!
He doesn't know it though.
He's really creative and well read. He has great taste in music, films and culture in general.
He's funny, cute and loving. And faithful.
I wish he was more sociable with others, he hates parties and couples dates and stuff. Also I wish he had a more varied diet. He only eats about 6 different foods!

@Flumpie59 I grew up in Ormside, small world.

Maybe I should read this thread. I’m 30, educated and considered conventionally beautiful. My dad has literally made me hate men. So much so I have actually dated women even though i suspect I am mostly straight.

It wouldn't be Mumsnet if "LTB" wasn't lurking in the background of every single post. Just look at the first reply on this thread.

What a lovely thread
thank you all
you have given me hope

My husband is wonderful. He's gorgeous, generous, kind, funny, hard working, great dad... He also drives me mad at times and I feel undervalued lately.

Life - and relationships- ebb and flow. We can say both at once, in the majority of cases.

I've been a mumsnetter for decades, many name changes. Ballons will always have a place in my heart (very old thread, still makes me laugh) and I've seen a lot on here but icyou think we are man haters you're wrong. Every child needs a biological dad to exist, the majority here have kids.

Sometimes men - and women, cis or trans and non-binary folks - are both amazing and dickish in tandem.

Sorry, bit off piste by the end of that rant. It's lighthearted.

I'm so glad you have found lasting love and happiness, OP. You can absolutely come here to show that off and celebrate it. It's brilliant! Here's to many more lovely years! 🥂

My life totally transformed when I met DH. He’s just so amazing and in many ways so like me and in other ways the polar opposite but it works so well. He just cares so much about making me feel as happy as possible. Whether that’s little things like making a cup of tea or big things like when he secretly arranged for my best friend to fly over from Asia for our wedding.

He’a my favourite person (someone finally overtook my mum 😄) and I would also do anything I can to make him happy. We understand each other so well. And we make each other cry with laughter, and have very enjoyable and satisfying sex.

My husband has to be the most gentle caring man I’ve met. He always carries my bags, holds every door open for me, if I want/need to get up to get something he’s always up first getting it for me, he is so patient with my mental health issues and most important of all he is an amazing dad, the kids absolutely adore him and he is loving, gentle has a great sense of humour and is always playing with them but he finds a balance and still cooks for us, does housework etc. During my pregnancies he made sure to come to every scan and was so supportive during all my births despite having a fear of blood he was always there the whole time. He did majority of late night feeds and changes in those early newborn days. I feel so lucky to have him

My husband is the kindest thoughtful caring guy. I know he genuinely
Loves me and our kids. We
Are polar opposites on a lot of things yet he just gets on with life and doesn't ask for much, other than keeping our family safe and happy.

My DH is wonderful but not perfect. I know I am not perfect either. After 40 years of marriage we have learned that sometimes we do things that irritate the other but that talking about things as they arise is the best way to resolve them.

I would say his best traits are that he is hard working, calm, kind and supportive. He was a hands on dad and despite working long hours, helps me when I I am unable to do things due to pain and lack of mobility. He's a keeper!

We've been married for 40 years.
He's a morning person and I'm a night person. This worked wonderfully with 2 DC's within 2 years.
We've coped through all that life throws at you through the decades, and I know he would do anything possible to make me happy.
He still thinks I am beautiful and that he is lucky to have me.
And still brings me a cup of tea every morning.

He sounds wonderful 🌺

I’m loving this thread.

My husband of thirty years is the funniest and finest man I know. He’s gentle, considerate, loving and incredibly emotionally intelligent and compassionate. He’s my best friend in the world and I’d be lost without him. He’s a wonderful father to our two now adult children who both adore him. 🩵

I honestly never thought I’d find a partner who would be willing to live with me. I have a couple of chronic health conditions that really limit what I can do. I’ve also always had awful taste in men - until I met my DH. He’s funny, kind, patient, and has no problem with doing much more than 50% of the physical tasks in our home when I can’t manage. He lets me help him when he’s having a tough time with things, too, which I think men (in particular) can struggle with. He’s held my hand through medical procedures, and even bathed me in hospital when I couldn’t do it myself. He also gets on really well with my mum, and will regularly help her with things around the house or run errands for her when she’s been ill. He’s one of the best human beings I’ve ever known, and I still have to pinch myself to be sure that I didn’t dream him up!

That’s reasonable - but when someone has become used to being hit by a previous partner, “he never lays a hand on me” probably doesn’t feel like a low bar. Or rather, the person may be aware that it’s a low bar, yet experience tells them that it’s all too common for a partner to fail to clear it.

It’s like if someone grew up in a war zone, and finally escaped and made a life in the UK. If you heard that person say “it’s amazing here; I’m never woken up by the sound of bombs, and I get enough food every day”, would you think “huh - they have very low standards!”, or would you feel compassion for that person, whose life so far has made violence and hunger seem normal?

It doesn’t sound to me as though OP has nothing else good to say about her DH; more that she is celebrating her newfound freedom to exist without fear of physical violence from the person who should love and care for her.

Been married 34 years. My husband is calm, kind, thoughtful, funny, clever, sophisticated. We are utterly compatible. He makes me very happy.

LTB

Mine is wonderful. Been together for many years since the age of 16. Married 17 years now with 4 children
He's calm, funny, intelligent and hard working. A wonderful hands on fully present Father with our children having a childhood so far removed from what he had.
When I met him I was at college and he was earning about £40 quid a week as an apprentice
We've grown together and have never ever argued over money
What mine is his and vice versa
Know too many couples who don't share money with the woman earning less, doing all childcare and household work and living like a pauper while the man is splashing the cash as its their money.
I do admittedly do bulk of housework as i work less hours and I'm picky about things but he absolutely pulls his weight. With two of ours being teens he very much now holds the role of dad's taxi!
We don't get much time alone and haven't been on a date for so long but our time is coming! Can't wait to grow old together