To feel like this about home interiors...

[ComfyOldRockingChair]

This is a funny one to try and explain but I'll give it a go, hopefully this makes sense.
I have a friend who had the loveliest little house, it was a standard 3 bed semi but she had filled it with little crafts that her and her daughter made together (nice things that looked good on display, not just mouldy pasta necklaces!) it was clean but never 'spotless' and always felt welcoming, I loved going to see her and relaxed almost immediately when we got chatting.
On paper I have a 'better' house, bigger rooms, the kitchen is about 3x bigger than my friends but in the decades we have lived here, through multiple redecorations I have never managed to make it feel so homely and welcoming.
We have now decided to move, the house we are moving to is similar to my current house but smaller and I desperately want it to feel like 'home'.
Will it feel cosier just by being smaller? Style wise it is pretty much my exact taste decoratively speaking, so if I have done something wrong with my current house the new one will have the same issue!
There is nothing I can put my finger on in my current house as to why I don't get the 'feeling' here, I have tried everything ....we must have a hundred blankets dotted around the place, no stark colours on the walls etc.
I am trying to work out if this is a me problem (that will follow us when we move) or a current house problem (dodgy lay lines or something 😆) that I can leave behind.
Aibu to think my new house will solve the problem?

I get you OP.

There's a couple of rooms in my house I just can't seem to get right. Particularly our large Victorian high ceilinged lounge. I've painted it about 4 times and just not getting it to work.

My friend's living room just works. I feel instantly comfortable. I can't seem to recreate that in my room.

I'm beginning to think that the room is just too big. It always feels cold and soulless.

This is just me, but I wouldn't have white gloss, especially with blues and grey. I would colour drench all the painted areas the same blue for starters and then try some warm coloured cushions and rugs. Masses of lamps to create pools of light.

Then I would think about “stuff”. As has been said, personal objets, art, hobbies and pastimes things, interesting furniture, etc that show you live there, rather than Mr and Mrs Bloggs next door.

Plants and wood!!! That warms up any space and livens it up. Having natural materials create a living/breathing/alive space which is a very welcoming environment.

I’d change the grey carpet. I’d much rather have light wooden floors with a big rug, and I just can’t imagine any shade of grey working with dusty blue without making it all look a bit depressing. If you must have carpet, off-white or sand might be better. I have a blue living room, with light wooden floors, a patterned rug with blues, greens and pink in it, lots of pictures and books and plants, and there’s tan, ochre, orange and pink in the cushions, curtains and ornaments.

Get the lighting right, lots of lamps.

And don't be afraid to put big furniture in small spaces. It often has the reverse effect of making the space look larger.

Zones.

Larger rugs than you might imagine.

Art and books.

It’s odd but the happiest, cosiest, most welcoming house I ever visited was my Grandfather’s Aunt’s cottage. It was the antithesis of anything that anyone nowadays would want. She was very, very old when we visited as kids in the 80s - she was born 1890. It was filled with clutter, everything mismatched, lots of random ornaments and things picked up over the years. It always had a lovely smell, like baking, even when she wasn’t baking.

It was like walking back in time - no telephone, no electric oven (just a cast iron one in the fireplace). It had an indoor bathroom thankfully!

I think part of the welcoming atmosphere was her though - she was very sprightly, friendly and cheeky. I remember her slipping us a glass of advocaat at Christmas as kids (which we loved).

So maybe I should aim for a cluttered Victorian vibe, with no mod cons!

My house has personality and a cosy feel as it's filled with objects I care about. The living room has a velvet sofa, patterned rug, fireplace. The shelves have family photos, flowers, a couple sculptures, some pottery pieces I've collected. The walls have art, the light sconces I sourced from Spain and are handmade cutout metal.
My kitchen has tiles from Spain, also some art and the fruit bowl my kids hand prints all over it. The attached diner has brick walls, patterned carpet, six wall baskets in warm colours, yet more art, a wooden table, velvet loveseat and a wall of glass to the garden.
So: pattern, colour, art, personal items reflecting my taste. A little bit cluttered. But warm and cosy for sure!

Have you got art work? Preferably things that aren’t “perfectly suited” but things you personally like

Add some yellow accents and it will instantly look more cosy, without moving away from the elegant look you like.

I'm the same, OP. It doesn't help that I like neutrals and my preferred style is kind of Scandi minimalist, which can be stark and not very welcoming. I often see pictures of rooms in that style which do look nore cosy and welcoming, but I can't seem to achieve it myself!

I also like neutral/scandi style - I find if you add texture it looks homelier (otherwise agree it can look a bit stark). Think sisal rugs, textured cushions (rough weave/bobbles/stripes), vases with some sort of detail on them.

I struggle with home decor so I copy ideas from Pinterest and the like. When I redecorated my last house after splitting from my ex, I bought loads of new things at once, and it made the house feel a bit bland and lacking in personality. What I've learned since is the homeliness comes from the bits and bobs that accumulate over time. That picture frame you found in an antique shop on holiday one year, the throw you got to replace the one the cat puked on, the bargain bookshelf from a v posh shop you wouldn't normally be able to afford, the nicknack left by a previous owner when you moved house.

The talent lies in keeping the decent stuff and throwing out the rest. I'll get back to you in a few years on that one...

What it might be is that your friend isn't thinking about her home from the view of being 'designed' but just as a home.
Husband and I are eclectic people. We don't have a clue about what 'goes' in general, we just have what appeals to US. We recently moved from a furnished rental and had to furnish from charity shops. Brown furniture is cheap and great quality, we like it and we have dark wood stairs/floor/doors.
Everyone likes our house precisely because it's full of us. Not someone else's idea of what is good taste or design. By all means, buy a vintage item/brass lamp/whatever, but buy it because you just like it, because it's your sort of thing.
We are currently doing some decorating. We have decided to make a feature out of the rather boring wall that runs up the stairs by having wallpaper with Amazon rainforest trees and monkeys on it. Probably would make interior designers faint with horror, but we love it.
Your friend's house is probably a reflection of the family that lives there. It's developed organically as she's added the stuff she's made or found and fallen in love with. When everything in your house is something you like for it's own sake, in my opinion it will feel like a home. Maybe it won't look like Kelly Hoppen did the interiors, but it will look and feel like YOU live there.
To cut through all my waffle, basically buy for yourself and your family, not 'for the house' and the house will be your home.

The blue in the photo you posted looks like Parma Grey. We have that in our sitting room (with white gloss as its easy to keep clean). Upholstery is all navy but the room looks warm as I have some warm accents eg stained floor boards with a couple of afghan rugs in a deep crimson and a paisley shawl as a throw. A PP mentioned an 80:20 split between warm and cool and I hadn't thought about that but my room probably is.

I think that sometimes the room is just the wrong shape. I watch location location location a lot and a lot of houses seem to have doors in the wrong places and feel like corridors. So I'd say that creating comfortable zones within a room is important. And fairy lights!

There's a couple of rooms in my house I just can't seem to get right. Particularly our large Victorian high ceilinged lounge. I've painted it about 4 times and just not getting it to work.

I have a similar sounding living room which feels cosy. I have a picture rail and wallpaper up to the picture rail. Might that be an idea?

I have lots of ideas for the new house, thank you!
The irony is I watch every property show on TV, I should be a bloody expert.
I can seem to see what works everywhere else but not in my own home 🤦‍♀️

Could it be the amount of light coming in.
That picture of the entrance to a posh house with blue and white was stunning mainly because of the sun streaming in the open door. Close the door and it would look smart but less impressive.
I have sun coming in the kitchen window in the morning and the lounge in the evening - house faces the perfect way.
I have a friend whose house looks like it's from the 1930s. Quite dark inside with darkish walls and only cream paint work. But it looks great as it suits the style.
What is you friends house like with regards to sunlight?

Oh, also paintings. They can make a big difference but imv are hard to choose - correct size, dramatic or pretty, large frame, large mount etc Perhaps get some cheap from the Range to experiment - then look for what you want.