To feel like this about home interiors...

[ComfyOldRockingChair]

This is a funny one to try and explain but I'll give it a go, hopefully this makes sense.
I have a friend who had the loveliest little house, it was a standard 3 bed semi but she had filled it with little crafts that her and her daughter made together (nice things that looked good on display, not just mouldy pasta necklaces!) it was clean but never 'spotless' and always felt welcoming, I loved going to see her and relaxed almost immediately when we got chatting.
On paper I have a 'better' house, bigger rooms, the kitchen is about 3x bigger than my friends but in the decades we have lived here, through multiple redecorations I have never managed to make it feel so homely and welcoming.
We have now decided to move, the house we are moving to is similar to my current house but smaller and I desperately want it to feel like 'home'.
Will it feel cosier just by being smaller? Style wise it is pretty much my exact taste decoratively speaking, so if I have done something wrong with my current house the new one will have the same issue!
There is nothing I can put my finger on in my current house as to why I don't get the 'feeling' here, I have tried everything ....we must have a hundred blankets dotted around the place, no stark colours on the walls etc.
I am trying to work out if this is a me problem (that will follow us when we move) or a current house problem (dodgy lay lines or something 😆) that I can leave behind.
Aibu to think my new house will solve the problem?

I don't think your colours are the issue, my house is mostly blues with "strong" neutrals. It's an old Victorian house but friends often say it's cosy. I think flooring plays a big part. I can't stand carpets (but we have lots of mud traipsed in and pets) but love cosy rugs like American braided rugs - they can bring a lot of warmth. Also too much of one thing and look messy or contrived.

I agree with asking your friend, she'll be flattered! A couple of friends have asked my advice and I love helping out (I always wanted to be an interior designer), it can often be a simple or cheap fix.

I think it's very difficult to achieve a house that's both stylish and warm and welcoming as they're qualities that are often if not always opposing.

You definitely want it to be ever so slightly less than perfectly tidy so people feel they can relax. And the art and ornaments etc shouldn't match too perfectly either, because if they do they can look a bit like they've been chosen by an interior designer rather than accumulated by you.

I really shouldn't speak with any authority - not one of my stylish friends has ever complemented my decor. But I love my house so I don't care, and people do seem to be relaxed when they come which is more important to me. I can think of more than one house I'd be terrified to knock over my coffee in!

I think people that hit on it being more about my friend's energy are probably right, we regularly go shopping together and it's very rare I love the things she picks! I might like them but I wouldn't want to buy them.
Honestly, I know I'm sounding like a nightmare, I promise I'm not like this irl 😆

Does the house feel better in summer? I have an ultra modern kitchen - so not cosy in winter but amazing at this time of year. Modern-ish living area too, but do have a fireplace so super cosy in winter.

You need plants, lots of plants. And you don't mention the smells in your home or your friends, maybe she uses diffusers, candles? Has dogs.

I have a friend with the stinkiest doggy scruffy farmhouse, it literally smells like walking boots and I love it!! It smells like wet dog walks and fun and laughter and family and baking, she's always baked.

I literally couldn't tell you what colour her walls are.

The photo you posted looks very cold and austere to me. Blue and grey and white can be very cold feeling and hard to get right. Pops of colour? Mustard maybe? I buy ornaments that mean something to me, somewhere I have travelled or something that resonates somehow. Lots of pictures and soft lighting helps

Yes! I also agree with plants!

Art and accessories make such a difference.
You obviously like cool colours so buy art in those but with a pop of colour within that warms things up. Cushions are a great 'warmer' especially if you go down an unmatched route but with the same colourways.
I'd go warm pinks probably as your accent colour and build from there. TK Maxx is great for a selection of good quality cushions at reasonable prices.
As for accessories, go as big as you can.
A large vase looks better than 3 small ones. Less is more.
Buy your candles in colours instead of white or transparent glass.
A rug is also another possibility...with warmth in it.

I find houses that are often redecorated lack any sense of warmth or personal style. The cosiest of cottages tend to have cream walls repainted every twenty years or less. Just keep the house as it is and bung in nice paintings, lamps etc as and when you find them. You are probably trying too hard.

The sample photo you posted, I’m pretty sure that isn’t gloss white on the woodwork. It will be a satinwood or eggshell in an off white (looks similar to my woodwork which is all FB wimborne white). Gloss white is too harsh against anything really, even when I lived in an ultra modern home the woodwork wasn’t gloss painted.

Warm woods, plants, small lamps (not wall lamps), and textures (throws, rugs etc) can make it feel cosy. Grey carpet is always going to be a bit of an issue.

have you used any of the visualisation apps? You can see what paint, flooring etc looks like in a particular room.

I did my living room in grey paint but it was the wrong choice. I love the colour but it looks all wrong in the room (as does my large white gloss TV cabinet). Other rooms look a lot better!

Perhaps the decor isn't the issue, but rather it's about how you use the house. Does it reflect the things that matter to you? If you cook are there shelves of cookery books and jars of wooden spoons and utensils on the window ledges? If you paint/write/draw is there a desk with your brushes and sketch books piled up? Do you have a cosy nook for reading or a space for your yoga?

If your home doesn't reflect the things you do and give you a spot to enjoy them it's never going to feel like home.

Could you start by thinking of the things you do, or what you'd like to do then create a setting for them - think about the practicalities of that, build up layers of things over time (a desk first, then find a photo frame to put on it, see a green you like on a paint chart one day and paint the wall behind the desk that colour the next day, add a vase - pick flowers from your garden for it - but over a year, not in one fell swoop). Think of colour as irrelevant and just buy, add or make things that you love - you'll develop a multilayered space of meaningful, useful and beautiful personal things and magically you have your home.

This makes sense, you couldn't tell my house is my house just by looking at it really. I think I've got into the mindset of 'neutral classic decor' rather than lived in home!

I think this too - it is a feeling you get rather than decor

I think your style sounds similar to modern Scandinavian, especially with your light blues / grey / white and modern light with high ceilings and coving.

Search for this on Pinterest and save any photos that appeal to you . Then once you have a few dozen, sit down and analyse what it is that appeals to you.

If that’s your style , you may need some texture , a few large plants , some large modern artwork and wood. A few large pictures / plants / table lamps is always better than a lot of small ones.

Texture can be easily added with throws, cushions and small rugs on chairs, perhaps some small new furniture items like side tables.

If your friends style is more boho then it’s never going to work for you, however lovely it is in her house.

I think with blue (and I agree blue can be warm) you need some earthy warm colours to complement. This is a pub I went to recently and with ochre and red tones, along with gold/brass and wood, it looked really cosy! I would steer clear of greys and gloss white with blue.

Redecorating doesn't help, because you are then "moving" into a completely new room.

Are you trying to be welcoming to you or to visitors?

If you want it to feel welcoming to you - What do you do in your house? What do you enjoy doing there? Design it around what you enjoy doing. Don't be too keen to tidy everything away in between. If you're never there, or you never have time to do anything you enjoy, then accept it's effectively just a hotel.

Could it be furniture placement? If the sofas are too far apart for conversation, it will never feel inviting.

Lots of books and pictures always help!

Stop focusing on the decor and think about you. Whatdo you love? What makes you happy? What would show someone that you live there?

For instance, I love reading and even though I mostly read on kindle, it doesn’t feel like home to me unless there are books in every room. For you it could be family, travel, hobbies, whatever. Then think about how these could filter into your room through photos or art work or colours etc. But start with you.

I think it’s hard to tell without a photo….

Plants and themed objects work for me - although I appreciate for others this may be too cluttered

I agree with PP's - it's not about the decor, it's about you and what you enjoy doing. Eg someone who loves cooking is not going to have a pristine kitchen, they may have hanging rails with utensils, pot hangers within easy reach, spices on shelves, copper pots, pickling jars, etc - the practicality is what makes it relaxed, and literally lived-in and loved.

What do you enjoy doing? Maybe if you don't have any hobbies, or there isn't much you enjoy doing within your home then this may be reflecting on how you feel about your home.

Also, they say, its worth investing in the things you touch - eg door handles, taps, light switches, and of course furnishings / crockery, etc.

How do you feel about your personal style / clothing? If you're happy with your sense of style maybe there's some inspiration you can take from there and reflect in your home.

Try using warmer colours and some pattern. Only have things you love on display and try not to make your rooms look like a stage set.

To everyone suggesting plants, thank you but I only have to look at one and they die! Never managed to keep so much as a spider plant alive unfortunately.
I do think part of the problem seems to be not actually living in the house so much, between full time work and extra curricular activities we aren't here doing anything very often.
The hotel comment struck a cord really, we eat/sleep/shower here and not much else to be honest.
Thank you for all of the suggestions, I have taken them all on board and will be heading to Pinterest ASAP before we move to get some inspo!

That would be immensely improved by a bunch of flowers or a houseplant on the windowsill. I think it may be about saying “someone lives here”.

Crossposted! Almost anything would do, if it looked as if you’d put it there days ago rather than months ago. Even your shopping list