colleague kissed me and then ghosted me

[weirdwasp]

There seemed to be a mutual interest, we started talking, texting, met up, and kissed.

Then suddenly he backtracked, acted like nothing happened. I confronted him and he said 'This has too much potential to be awkward, it's too risky, I'm really sorry. It's just not a good idea.'
Fwiw we're in an open plan office of around 100 people, on the same floor.
The only time we see each other is walking through the office/lunchtime/arriving and leaving, our work is totally separate.
Do you think it was genuine from him? Or just a lie? I told him it was fine, now he just looks sheepish and tries to avoid me.

Sorry ghosted wasn't the right word, he just avoids me now I mean.
There's nothing I can do, it hurts a bit but oh well.

Just ignore.

Is he definitely single?

He's the one who's made it awkward. I would've still been polite and friendly with him but he just looks bright red and flustered.

Yes he is, afaik. I feel like he just got cold feet and this was the perfect excuse.

He is not interested
and been upfront about it

and that is all

Yep, I know.
It's a shame really how he so quickly backtracked, it makes me feel like I must've put him off.

I think that when confronted with the reality of dating a colleague, he decided he didn't want to. He should have realised it sooner, but it's not particularly unreasonable I dont think.

Don't kiss men before you are in an established relationship otherwise it leads to awkward situations like this.

I'd say he has a gf or wife

He's come to his senses.

If it is that, fair enough.
I just worried he'd kissed me and thought 'ergh actually she's grim'. I shouldn't care either way I guess.

What do you mean sorry?

Dating colleagues can make work awkward, particularly if it ends badly.

I think he's just had second thoughts about dating someone he works with. It could get awkward. I wouldn't take it too personally

Honestly I'd be very surprised if he did.

Yeah, I do understand it and I'll try to not take it personal. I wish he didn't completely act funny at work but he might come round eventually.

He isn’t under any obligation. You had a date, it didn’t feel right to him for whatever reason, and he’s been very clear to you that he doesn’t want it to continue. He doesn’t have to justify himself any more than he already has. And in the unlikely event that he did think “Eww, she’s an awful kisser” (which I strongly doubt) or something, he isn’t ever going to tell you that, for obvious reasons. You just need to accept it’s a non-starter and move on.

What? That's madness

I think he's just thought about it and decided the potential for things to get awkward isn't something he wants

I've not expected him to justify himself and I'm fully aware he doesn't need to.
It's just awkward at work now, which is the thing he says he wanted to avoid.

Maybe he just wanted a snog?

He may well be the type of man who just goes for really short relationships and panicked at the thought of being known for that if he slept with you and then dumped you.

Maybe he’s just scared that being chatty and matey with you will give you the wrong idea, and he doesn’t want to lead you on. (I know you wouldn’t get the wrong idea! You obviously know the score. But perhaps he’s just wary of not wanting to look like he’s messing with your head.)

Hopefully, as you say, he’ll chill out eventually and be a bit less awkward and stressy!

Yeah, it likely is that tbh. He just acts like I've got two heads and practically runs past my desk!!
It's a shame, but nothing I can do.. I'll just try to avoid work dating.

If he's that immature then what was he thinking dating a colleague in the first place?!