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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can you tell if Americans are "poor"?

434 replies

flavourable · 20/07/2024 14:15

Like most of us I watch quite a bit of US drama and box sets but remain baffled about the characters based on things like the house they live in etc...

Can American audiences tell that someone is poor or rich (or in between) based on things such as house size, style of house and other things that are part of TV series?

I know (well think I do so not assuming - please correct if wrong!) that middle and working class may mean different things to UK - but can US viewers pick up more based on cultural norms and things that may need explaining to non-American audiences?

An example is I watched some episodes of True Detective and thought the house was lovely and spacious but everything else in the plot pointed to the fact that this was a "poor rundown neighbourhood with substance issues etc..."

Are there any rules of thumb? Do American audiences get confused my things like this when watching UK or European dramas?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 21/07/2024 06:25

Tomatina · 21/07/2024 05:00

Interesting thread.
Not being 'allowed' to hang your washing out, especially when the US gets a lot more sun than we do here, sounds positively Stalinist. Very strange for a country that values individual freedom, not to mention the impact on the environment if everyone is using tumble dryers. I would also hate not feeling free to walk to places rather than use a car, or to be looked down on for using public transport. Not surprising the US has such a high carbon footprint if this is really the case.

On the other hand the sheer amount of living space Americans have (outside the big cities) is amazing compared to the average in the UK and Europe. I remember a scene in Breaking Bad (which does actually show quite a range of rich, poor and middle class Americans) where Walter White and Skyler are buying their first home on a single schoolteacher's salary. It's described as a starter home, but is nevertheless a big suburban home with massive rooms, plus a garden and a swimming pool!

Not a lot of what you seem to have gleaned from this thread is actually true.

People choose to live in HOAs. The rest of us are happily living in areas where we do our own thing.

The assumption that tumble dryers have a decisive impact on the environment is a curious one. The dryer I use takes about 35-40 minutes to get a huge load dry - towels, bedding, jeans, sweatshirts, etc, all bunged in at once, and set to 'low'.

"The US" does not get a uniform number of sunny days across the board. The Pacific Northwest, for example, is notoriously damp and chilly. Additionally, some parts of the US are too cold to make outdoor drying of clothes practical in winter. Many people dry clothes on a basement rack.

As well as having several different climates, the US has several different cultures and hugely different environments, beginning with the basic urban-suburban-rural divide. Bigger metropolitan areas tend to have public transport and thousands of people who do not drive because they don't need to in their daily lives. The idea that people get looked askance at all over the US for walking or taking public transport is just plain silly.

You would be thought incredibly foolish if you were to walk somewhere in the current heatwave in the south west, or through the hills of Appalachia where you might be sharing the road with bears. Many parts of the US have snakes and/or alligators living in close proximity to people. Many have incredibly dangerous urban neighbourhoods.

Even aside from extraordinary heatwaves or wildlife or urban gangs, the humidity experienced in huge swathes of the US in summer is something Britons generally don't appreciate. Nobody likes to venture out and have their clothes soaked with sweat and stuck to them in minutes, and in winter the cold can be brutal across all but the southernmost states.

If you have the choice of a car, it's a practical alternative to weather-related unpleasantness. All the same, people do walk places, go out jogging, biking, walk their dogs, do yoga in parks, kids play in playgrounds and on tennis courts and pitches, etc.

mathanxiety · 21/07/2024 06:40

brentwoods · 20/07/2024 22:01

@anon4net is so far from accurate it's laughable. The poor tend to vote Republican? I think not.

I think you need to think again.

www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/upshot/election-2016-voting-precinct-maps.html#6.07/37.53/-83.38

mathanxiety · 21/07/2024 06:46

Labraradabrador · 21/07/2024 01:48

Amusing statement given the near inaccessibility of nhs dentistry.

I have found that American dentists are far more interventionist than even private British ones to the extent that virtually all of my classmates had orthodontics. Yes, having bad teeth is a social marker in America, but most Brits would have ‘bad teeth’ by American standards.

There's a Simpsons episode where the joke is "The Big Book of British Smiles" :-)

Bjorkdidit · 21/07/2024 07:04

mathanxiety · 21/07/2024 06:25

Not a lot of what you seem to have gleaned from this thread is actually true.

People choose to live in HOAs. The rest of us are happily living in areas where we do our own thing.

The assumption that tumble dryers have a decisive impact on the environment is a curious one. The dryer I use takes about 35-40 minutes to get a huge load dry - towels, bedding, jeans, sweatshirts, etc, all bunged in at once, and set to 'low'.

"The US" does not get a uniform number of sunny days across the board. The Pacific Northwest, for example, is notoriously damp and chilly. Additionally, some parts of the US are too cold to make outdoor drying of clothes practical in winter. Many people dry clothes on a basement rack.

As well as having several different climates, the US has several different cultures and hugely different environments, beginning with the basic urban-suburban-rural divide. Bigger metropolitan areas tend to have public transport and thousands of people who do not drive because they don't need to in their daily lives. The idea that people get looked askance at all over the US for walking or taking public transport is just plain silly.

You would be thought incredibly foolish if you were to walk somewhere in the current heatwave in the south west, or through the hills of Appalachia where you might be sharing the road with bears. Many parts of the US have snakes and/or alligators living in close proximity to people. Many have incredibly dangerous urban neighbourhoods.

Even aside from extraordinary heatwaves or wildlife or urban gangs, the humidity experienced in huge swathes of the US in summer is something Britons generally don't appreciate. Nobody likes to venture out and have their clothes soaked with sweat and stuck to them in minutes, and in winter the cold can be brutal across all but the southernmost states.

If you have the choice of a car, it's a practical alternative to weather-related unpleasantness. All the same, people do walk places, go out jogging, biking, walk their dogs, do yoga in parks, kids play in playgrounds and on tennis courts and pitches, etc.

Well the electricity use of the dryer can't that low if it dries a load of washing in 40 minutes.

It's also completely unnecessary if you have outdoor space, the weather is right, are able bodied, it isn't pollen season, don't work long hours while caring for people with SEN who don't like line dried clothes. I can't believe we have whataboutery about putting the washing out. The collective impact of the fraction of all those millions of loads that could be line dried will be enormous.

Just for comparison, this picture illustrates my heritage as far as hanging washing out is concerned. You see it hung across the streets of back to back housing in northern England, which opens straight out into the street at the front and there is another property at the back.

So, while no-one does that any more, it's not in my upbringing to see lack of outside space or perfect weather as a barrier to hanging outside.

I'm also sure that plenty of people are able to walk short distances without getting attacked by bears, alligators or urban hoodlums nor freezing or boiling to death. Sometimes it will be nothing more than laziness that prevents them from doing so.

But I'd like to thank the poster who recommended the Sprung show, I've now watched most of it, and it's been great.

How can you tell if Americans are "poor"?
Whenwillitgetwarm · 21/07/2024 07:37

masomenos · 21/07/2024 00:17

Your last two paragraphs are so accurate. When people on this site marvel at how anyone can vote for Trump; how Americans can believe the garbage spewed by Maga types; why they’re so beholden to cars, fossil fuels etc, they betray an ignorance about what daily life is like for many millions of Americans (which is fair! I don’t know anything about Hebridean life or Northern Irish life for example!).

That America is rarely seen on TV. The closest glimpse I’ve seen is True Detective, first couple of series. These places are remote; probably had industry and/or agriculture and/or fossil fuel exploitation as their core source of income until some decades ago; probably southern or north western or mid western; probably have churches of whatever denomination to center community. Since those industries died, these places and the people in them have been forgotten in the rush to make $$$$ out of financial services and then tech. Incomes are low, educational aspirations extremely low, employment rates low, quality of life low. These people are exploited by pharmaceutical companies, the military mine them for human fodder, churches bleed them dry. Drug and alcohol addiction are rife. Life’s heyday was back when white people ruled the country, the Cold War was on and communists of whatever colour were the devil, when work was abundant, standards of living could be expected to remain stable or rise. Patriotism was a duty and defined Americanism in such places.

That America has nothing whatsoever in common with the America of Sex and the City, Real Housewives, the America people see on TV.

Now, that America - and there are millions and millions of people like this - vote for Trump because he tells them he hasn’t forgotten them, he wants to make America great again (ie as it was back in that heyday). That he has a proven track record of doing absolutely nothing of the sort, in fact doing the very opposite, means nothing in the face of such a strongly felt hope and recognition he gives them. He makes them feel heard, and he gives them an identity again. The people you saw on Jan 6 descending on D.C. (the “swamp” (recognisable to southerners), full of “elites” (meaning educated coastal Dem voters) etc) in their pick up trucks and Hulk Hogan moustaches and wife beaters etc, those aren’t the Americans you see in Emily Goes to Paris. They’re an entirely different people, with different values and goals.

Like it or not, Trump has changed American politics for an entire generation or more. There’s no going back from what he’s done. Democrats have forgotten those Appalachians, ex miners, ex car factory workers etc, and so did old school Republicans. Both will pay the price for it. There are many many many reasons never to vote for Trump. But nobody else has spoken to that forgotten slice of society (and neither has Trump in reality, he’s just another billionaire telling them he loves them while he plunders them for their last $5, feasting on their desperation and hopelessness and lack of education, bleeding them dry - and when he’s rinsed them of everything they can do for him, he’ll drop them and retreat to his gilded life. But they’ll still believe him, because he made them feel like they matter).

Fantastic post. Very insightful.

WindsurfingDreams · 21/07/2024 07:51

Bjorkdidit · 21/07/2024 07:04

Well the electricity use of the dryer can't that low if it dries a load of washing in 40 minutes.

It's also completely unnecessary if you have outdoor space, the weather is right, are able bodied, it isn't pollen season, don't work long hours while caring for people with SEN who don't like line dried clothes. I can't believe we have whataboutery about putting the washing out. The collective impact of the fraction of all those millions of loads that could be line dried will be enormous.

Just for comparison, this picture illustrates my heritage as far as hanging washing out is concerned. You see it hung across the streets of back to back housing in northern England, which opens straight out into the street at the front and there is another property at the back.

So, while no-one does that any more, it's not in my upbringing to see lack of outside space or perfect weather as a barrier to hanging outside.

I'm also sure that plenty of people are able to walk short distances without getting attacked by bears, alligators or urban hoodlums nor freezing or boiling to death. Sometimes it will be nothing more than laziness that prevents them from doing so.

But I'd like to thank the poster who recommended the Sprung show, I've now watched most of it, and it's been great.

Agree about Sprung! Thank you to whoever recommended it.

My children have very bad hayfever so I have been told to dry their clothes inside or tumble dry them

Which is a shame as I love the smell of clothes that have been hung on the line.

ReacherSaidNothing · 21/07/2024 08:04

Years ago I was reading a Michael Connelly novel ( his books are set in LA) which depicted a man hunting for a missing prostitute. He was searching her home which was described as a bungalow and it sounded quite spacious from the description.

I have family who grew up in a high rise on a notorious scheme plus my own background is also very 'working class' so reading this description of prostitutes living in bungalows (a bungalow is a sign of affluence in these parts!) boggled my mind. Then I watched some American tv prog showing run down bungalows crammed together and understood better.

mindutopia · 21/07/2024 08:05

American living in UK here. Yes, of course. America has really deep poverty, like unlike anything you see in the UK. It’s very obvious when people are poor.

But you don’t generally see tv shows with poor or working class people in the US, not like you might with more working class people here, like various soaps. Americans, even poor ones, are aspirational. They don’t like to think of themselves as poor or see that represented in film. There is a tendency to be obsessed to thinking you are more middle class than you are. Hence, why poor whites think Trump is just like them.

I grew up quite middle class, but come from a very working class family. My working class family members would never have called themselves ‘working class’ (even though they worked at Burger King or in a factory floor and lived in a trailer park or tenement housing). They would have seen themselves as middle class and watched tv and very much aligned with the middle class characters in it because that’s the ‘life’ everyone is taught to aspire to (even though generational poverty means none of them will likely ever leave the shitty areas we grew up).

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 08:09

For white people particularly, the divide is educational, rather than straight income.

Black Americans overwhelmingly vote Democrat. Latinos and Asians are a bit more complicated.

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/07/2024 08:14

Some Americans will literally back away from anyone who says they got here by bus. (Not applicable in New York).

I can confirm this: I lived there for two years and don’t have a driver’s license. People would look at me as if I had said I didn’t speak English or I had a sexually transmitted disease when I revealed that. It was so far outside their frame of reference to meet an educated person who didn’t drive that they thought you were crazy.

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 08:16

As for urban poverty: I see more of that than rural poverty, and to be quite honest a lot of it looks rather like the UK. There's run down housing estates, run down terraced houses. The architecture is a bit different, but it's recognisably familiar. The Wire was filmed on the streets of Baltimore and although it's 15-20 years old now, a lot of the city looks the same.

dottiehens · 21/07/2024 08:40

anon4net · 20/07/2024 18:35

In America:

[Based on my experience working in healthcare...]

  • Teeth (sometimes, definitely more so in the southern states)
  • Hair (sometimes)
  • Furniture
  • Speech - grammar with speech in particular
  • Access to therapies for children like speech therapy
  • Many poor Americans have what we'd consider a need for speech therapy
  • Whether they have access to their own laundry or use a laundry-mat (NYC and urban centres that are $ are probably an exception to this!)
  • Type of childcare they can access (neighbourhood lady with no education, taking 6+++ kids in from locals for pittance, vs more standardized daycare, nanny, childminder etc.)
  • On medicaid/have no insurance (thus impacting which hospitals/clinics etc they go to)
  • Whether there's higher education among parents/grandparents
  • Access to education outside of high school - is military the only option
  • Military recruitment in their local malls/shops/schools - they actively target low income communities - kids start talking to the recruiters at a very young age...
  • Are more likely to vote Republican
  • Have children young
  • Typically are very ill before they access health care (later stages of a disease etc.) due to worry about costs or being unable to get into free clinics!
  • Often believe charity/churches should play more of a role in helping people than the government should

Personally

I know two poorer American family through a volunteer project. You'd never ever know it from their blog/facebook/instagram. However, they...

  • Live in basement apartments with 3+ kids and if they can will have many more children - there is no state benefit per child there, so no real incentive in that regard. Neither family is on welfare/food stamps.
  • Have no insurance/rely on state for any health care (yet vote Republican and don't want universal health care believing they will be like Russia in it's hardest years - lining up for bread, freezing to death...!)
  • Husbands work insane hours (6 days week x 12+ hr days, and have side gigs - extra work after Church etc on their day off, helping build things, work Friday nights and Saturday nights etc.)
  • Savings are wiped out even with a 'minor' bill like a $500 car repair
  • Plans for sons is military after high school. One's son just accepted an entry into the navy (age 18).
  • They have big dreams and post a lot of what I'd call aesthetic content - you'd never ever know they live in basement apartments. They have photos of feet at the beach, in linens twirling in the grass etc., books etc. Poverty is very very very hidden. Their accounts are like dreams. They look like the wealthy accounts with hundreds of thousands of followers who do the same. yet clearly very very different.
  • Very traditional roles for mothers/fathers. Neither believe women should work ever outside the home. One is 'allowed' do to some pyramid selling of stuff. So even though for one, husbands shift is 5 am to 5 pm and there's several late night shops (food) she could work at say 7-10 a couple nights/week and some women in their community do, they won't because they must be content in all things and her role is at home.
  • Their hopes and dreams for their children don't include education. It's faith, same faith partners (even from a young age they are praying for future wives/husbands) and being blessed by God with bounty/wealth/richness
  • Children have no hobbies, extra curriculars etc. Not even the kids in high school
  • Very limited contact with others. Everything costs money and they are 'content to be at home'
  • Children/parents only receive emergency dental care, no braces etc.
  • They try as many natural 'healers' before state medicine (herbs, oils etc)
  • Don't vaccinate
  • Minimal, if any real news - it's very much a lack of awareness life could be better
  • They believe one day they will be rich and yet another reason there for not supporting socialist ideals.
  • They think Bernie Sanders is the root of all evil [roll eyes - I love the guy]

It's was eye opening to say the least...

Edited to add - housesize is very dependent on state. I know people who were poor in very very small housing en par with the UK and others in different states in bigger housing but still many other indicators of poverty.

Edited

I have not doubt some people are living like that in the 330 millions plus country it is. However, not many and some would be poor immigrants that never make it. Where did I heard there was a country with more than half of the population on benefits? 🇬🇧

dottiehens · 21/07/2024 08:47

I suppose here people vote for socialism so that some never get rich or go to private school god forbid. 🤣🤣🤣

phoenixrosehere · 21/07/2024 08:50

Bjorkdidit · 21/07/2024 07:04

Well the electricity use of the dryer can't that low if it dries a load of washing in 40 minutes.

It's also completely unnecessary if you have outdoor space, the weather is right, are able bodied, it isn't pollen season, don't work long hours while caring for people with SEN who don't like line dried clothes. I can't believe we have whataboutery about putting the washing out. The collective impact of the fraction of all those millions of loads that could be line dried will be enormous.

Just for comparison, this picture illustrates my heritage as far as hanging washing out is concerned. You see it hung across the streets of back to back housing in northern England, which opens straight out into the street at the front and there is another property at the back.

So, while no-one does that any more, it's not in my upbringing to see lack of outside space or perfect weather as a barrier to hanging outside.

I'm also sure that plenty of people are able to walk short distances without getting attacked by bears, alligators or urban hoodlums nor freezing or boiling to death. Sometimes it will be nothing more than laziness that prevents them from doing so.

But I'd like to thank the poster who recommended the Sprung show, I've now watched most of it, and it's been great.

You’re the one continuously going on about putting the washing out because of your upbringing as if your way is the right way to do things and everyone else is lazy in your opinion. As you have said, it is not your electricity bill so why does it bother you so?

People do line dry in the States and many people don’t. People have the choice to live somewhere that allows them to line-dries or don’t, and if able, not to if they don’t want to.

phoenixrosehere · 21/07/2024 08:58

I can confirm this: I lived there for two years and don’t have a driver’s license. People would look at me as if I had said I didn’t speak English or I had a sexually transmitted disease when I revealed that. It was so far outside their frame of reference to meet an educated person who didn’t drive that they thought you were crazy.

How is that any different than here in the UK?

Plenty of threads on here where women are told to not date a man who can’t/doesn’t drive, women need to learn to drive and anyone who doesn’t are likely users and expect other people to give them lifts. I’ve gotten the same reaction here when I say I don’t drive and being told I should despite having everything I need within walking distance and have good public transport that gets me all over the UK (and no I don’t live in London).

dottiehens · 21/07/2024 09:08

Hillbilly Elegy book or film shows how the poor neglected white working class live if you are interested.

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 09:16

Hillbilly Elegy is a terrible book that mostly seeks to push JD Vance's political agenda.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/07/2024 09:21

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 20/07/2024 14:58

Errr...really? Since when has this been a thing?!

My DSis, who’s lived in the US for over 40 years, once told me that hanging washing out is seen as a sign of either poverty or madness.

She’s generally very ‘green/eco’ but still tumble dries just about everything. And while once staying with her years ago, I nearly went mad trying to find an iron (not that I’m a fanatical ironer but some of my summer things are linen and do need it.)

When she eventually came home I was informed that the reason I couldn’t find it, was because she didn’t possess one!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/07/2024 09:32

And as regards ‘poor’, again it was maybe 10 years ago when we were attending niece’s graduation from Berkeley - an affluent looking city in California.

Niece had a p/t job in a restaurant where we ate, but at once point DSis and I nipped up the road for a quick fag next to a small public park.

I was amazed to see that the park was full of homeless people with sleeping bags etc. starting to settle down for the night - and a couple of whom came up to cadge a fag.

As Dsis said, ‘Well, at least it’s warm here,’ - unlike much of the year in Massachusetts, where she lived at the time.

kiddietaxi · 21/07/2024 09:41

There are definitely ways to tell.

Poverty in America looks like: a diet heavy in ultra-processed foods, substance abuse, bad teeth & hair, non-salaried jobs in things like care, food service, or retail, unstable family arrangements, old cars/clothes/furniture, medical debt, obesity, working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet, low educational attainment, ultra patriotism.

I read somewhere recently that part of the reason the poor/lower class Americans are so obsessed with the military is because the military has traditionally been one of the only roads out of generational poverty and/or black-hole small towns without prospects for
young people. I thought that was interesting.

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 09:41

There's definitely some prejudice against hanging laundry out, but there's also been a pretty substantial backlash in response. Partly environmental, partly "It's my yard and I can do what I want in it."

As for homelessness, it's a real issue, but it's multifactorial. California is known, not only by anecdote but statistic, to be particularly bad. It's the intersection of extremely expensive housing, a climate that makes sleeping rough less of a hardship, and poor government policy. And what you see on the streets doesn't show people who are doubled up, couch surfing, etc. New York City, by contrast, has a right to shelter. It's imperfect, but it makes a huge difference statistically.

dottiehens · 21/07/2024 09:45

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 09:16

Hillbilly Elegy is a terrible book that mostly seeks to push JD Vance's political agenda.

So it does not depict how poor American people live? I knew someone would jump. However, you can’t deny the facts and he married an Indian woman that may not fit the racist agenda thrown at him.

I also wonder about how many posts lately about America and Americans mostly misleading and criticising. It is obvious to me. Labour is in so a break to bash the Tories. Next goal to stop Trump at all costs. Only a moron would not see this.

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 09:52

Who said anything about race? I disliked the book because it pushes the tired narrative that the reason people are poor is just because of their culture and choices. It purports to provide an inside view of Appalachian poverty for an audience that has never experienced it.

flavourable · 21/07/2024 10:49

dottiehens · 21/07/2024 09:08

Hillbilly Elegy book or film shows how the poor neglected white working class live if you are interested.

I have seen film (didn't think Oscar worthy but that's another thread) but not read the book - I found the film (as per my thread) confusing given space available - but like others have said this is my UK-centric view. I do recognise what others are saying about run-down urban and rural areas and the lack of industry and job opportunities. On a side note I never intended tis thread to be "poor or US bashing" - just wanted an insight into perspectives seen on TV

OP posts:
Excited101 · 21/07/2024 10:50

I’ve worked as a nanny for 15 years. Not one family have hung their washing up outside, or had the facilities to. One family wasn’t allowed on their street, at the weekends. They all bar one had a tumble drier and all homes could be kept warm enough to dry the washing inside anyway, and had the space to do so. I love line drying! We did get a tumble drier (my first!) about a year ago and it’s easier as it’s on the first floor next to the washing machine but line drying is so much nicer and I love the sight of it- pants n all!