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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can you tell if Americans are "poor"?

434 replies

flavourable · 20/07/2024 14:15

Like most of us I watch quite a bit of US drama and box sets but remain baffled about the characters based on things like the house they live in etc...

Can American audiences tell that someone is poor or rich (or in between) based on things such as house size, style of house and other things that are part of TV series?

I know (well think I do so not assuming - please correct if wrong!) that middle and working class may mean different things to UK - but can US viewers pick up more based on cultural norms and things that may need explaining to non-American audiences?

An example is I watched some episodes of True Detective and thought the house was lovely and spacious but everything else in the plot pointed to the fact that this was a "poor rundown neighbourhood with substance issues etc..."

Are there any rules of thumb? Do American audiences get confused my things like this when watching UK or European dramas?

OP posts:
SecretWitch · 21/07/2024 22:36

I’ve lived in the US for almost fifty years. I’ve spent most of the time in New England but recently moved to the mid west. I can usually discern class differences by someone’s speech. There use of “ I seen that” instead of “I’ve seen that “:or “Them children over there instead of those children over there”

CarolinaInTheMorning · 21/07/2024 22:40

Georgia mainly - right wing heartlands

Some of Georgia is right wing heartland, but thanks mainly to urban areas of the state, Georgia has two Democrats in the Senate, one is Jewish and the other is African American.

crowisland · 21/07/2024 22:46

Very true, public (state) schools are local and differ from state to state. Having taught in many different states, I do have a good idea of the sadly low - and uneven-level of education. True, not all states are banning wonderful books and teaching creationism. But the mere fact that so many fall into this category is scary commentary on the pervasive anti-intellectualism/ignorance. Of course, the wealthy have a stunning array of options, public and private

NervousSubject · 21/07/2024 22:50

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/07/2024 08:14

Some Americans will literally back away from anyone who says they got here by bus. (Not applicable in New York).

I can confirm this: I lived there for two years and don’t have a driver’s license. People would look at me as if I had said I didn’t speak English or I had a sexually transmitted disease when I revealed that. It was so far outside their frame of reference to meet an educated person who didn’t drive that they thought you were crazy.

I had just moved to the US from London and was living temporarily in New Jersey, and using public transport. Getting off the bus my first week and crossing at a traffic light, a passing driver opened his window and shouted ‘Walk, white trash!’ at me.

InternationalVelveteen · 21/07/2024 22:51

Georgia voted for Biden in 2020 (albeit narrowly) and has two Democratic senators. I hope it will go for the Democratic presidential candidate this year as well, whoever that turns out to be.

I never heard anyone criticise the culture and expectation and societal norms of USA. Particular governments, yep. Knocking other people , oh yes. But they don’t knock themselves as a country in way brits do. They learn that from a young age in terms of deference to their constitution and flag. That is a fundamental difference- American culture is their constitution . We don’t in uk have a written constitution , we don’t take oaths of allegiance ..though conservative have a good try with the citizenship tests, 🙄 but most of us would resist adamantly if a government tried to get that into schools. Were happy to knock KC and monarchy and take piss out of it when it deserve piss being taken. We have, in short, no culture of allegiance to our constitution or monarchy.

You never heard Americans criticize the US? You must not have been listening very closely. I hear criticism of the US every single day. It's a proud tradition here.

Honestly, this paragraph is so full of misapprehensions that I'm surprised to learn you had any contact with the US at all.

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/07/2024 22:57

@NervousSubject

I had just moved to the US from London and was living temporarily in New Jersey, and using public transport. Getting off the bus my first week and crossing at a traffic light, a passing driver opened his window and shouted ‘Walk, white trash!’ at me.

Yes I experienced similar in LA. People literally hurl insults at you if you are in proximity to a freeway or in any form of public transportation as opposed to a car.

Theres much to love about America even in these apocalyptic days but as someone who hates driving I could never make peace living in a country where they always literally worship the car.

Molly70 · 21/07/2024 23:05

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/07/2024 22:57

@NervousSubject

I had just moved to the US from London and was living temporarily in New Jersey, and using public transport. Getting off the bus my first week and crossing at a traffic light, a passing driver opened his window and shouted ‘Walk, white trash!’ at me.

Yes I experienced similar in LA. People literally hurl insults at you if you are in proximity to a freeway or in any form of public transportation as opposed to a car.

Theres much to love about America even in these apocalyptic days but as someone who hates driving I could never make peace living in a country where they always literally worship the car.

I lived in the US for 6 years before getting a drivers license and I never had this experience. When I was online dating , guys would express surprise at this but nothing more. If I was walking sometimes a guy would ask me if I wanted a ride but I would never accept

Mamanyt · 21/07/2024 23:11

American here. No, most of us don't get confused by those things, because we are well-aware of what many of us call "Hollyweird." ALL women are thin and willowy, ALL men are drop-dead handsome, ALL houses are way above the means of the family. We expect it from TV and movies, and generally just respond with, "as IF!' LOL, that's why so many of us enjoy British television...looks like real people and real homes. Or at least, to US it does.

Marine30 · 21/07/2024 23:33

masomenos · 21/07/2024 00:17

Your last two paragraphs are so accurate. When people on this site marvel at how anyone can vote for Trump; how Americans can believe the garbage spewed by Maga types; why they’re so beholden to cars, fossil fuels etc, they betray an ignorance about what daily life is like for many millions of Americans (which is fair! I don’t know anything about Hebridean life or Northern Irish life for example!).

That America is rarely seen on TV. The closest glimpse I’ve seen is True Detective, first couple of series. These places are remote; probably had industry and/or agriculture and/or fossil fuel exploitation as their core source of income until some decades ago; probably southern or north western or mid western; probably have churches of whatever denomination to center community. Since those industries died, these places and the people in them have been forgotten in the rush to make $$$$ out of financial services and then tech. Incomes are low, educational aspirations extremely low, employment rates low, quality of life low. These people are exploited by pharmaceutical companies, the military mine them for human fodder, churches bleed them dry. Drug and alcohol addiction are rife. Life’s heyday was back when white people ruled the country, the Cold War was on and communists of whatever colour were the devil, when work was abundant, standards of living could be expected to remain stable or rise. Patriotism was a duty and defined Americanism in such places.

That America has nothing whatsoever in common with the America of Sex and the City, Real Housewives, the America people see on TV.

Now, that America - and there are millions and millions of people like this - vote for Trump because he tells them he hasn’t forgotten them, he wants to make America great again (ie as it was back in that heyday). That he has a proven track record of doing absolutely nothing of the sort, in fact doing the very opposite, means nothing in the face of such a strongly felt hope and recognition he gives them. He makes them feel heard, and he gives them an identity again. The people you saw on Jan 6 descending on D.C. (the “swamp” (recognisable to southerners), full of “elites” (meaning educated coastal Dem voters) etc) in their pick up trucks and Hulk Hogan moustaches and wife beaters etc, those aren’t the Americans you see in Emily Goes to Paris. They’re an entirely different people, with different values and goals.

Like it or not, Trump has changed American politics for an entire generation or more. There’s no going back from what he’s done. Democrats have forgotten those Appalachians, ex miners, ex car factory workers etc, and so did old school Republicans. Both will pay the price for it. There are many many many reasons never to vote for Trump. But nobody else has spoken to that forgotten slice of society (and neither has Trump in reality, he’s just another billionaire telling them he loves them while he plunders them for their last $5, feasting on their desperation and hopelessness and lack of education, bleeding them dry - and when he’s rinsed them of everything they can do for him, he’ll drop them and retreat to his gilded life. But they’ll still believe him, because he made them feel like they matter).

Reading your post is the first time I feel like I’ve seen a valid explanation for Trump’s popularity in the US.
Thank you.

crowisland · 21/07/2024 23:41

CarolinaInTheMorning · 21/07/2024 20:10

I think you have overstated this more than a trifle. As for the passport thing, it's possible to travel within the United States to experience vastly different cultures. As for voting, are you aware of who won the popular vote in the last two presidential elections?

Absolutely- but look how many voters STILL reject the legitimate results and tried to overturn the results on Jan 6! Sure, it’s a huge country with fascinating diversity, from Navaho land to Chinatowns to Miami. But it’s an entirely different thing to leave one’s national comfort zone with an open mind, and to question one’s taken-for-granted assumptions

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/07/2024 23:45

Heating and air conditioning! And we aren't afraid of using it.

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/07/2024 23:51

@CarolinaInTheMorning They don't understand the fact that Trump became president in 2016 even though he did not win the popular vote. I think the worst thing to happen in the past 50 years is to not remove the electoral college.

SecretWitch · 21/07/2024 23:59

InternationalVelveteen · 21/07/2024 22:51

Georgia voted for Biden in 2020 (albeit narrowly) and has two Democratic senators. I hope it will go for the Democratic presidential candidate this year as well, whoever that turns out to be.

I never heard anyone criticise the culture and expectation and societal norms of USA. Particular governments, yep. Knocking other people , oh yes. But they don’t knock themselves as a country in way brits do. They learn that from a young age in terms of deference to their constitution and flag. That is a fundamental difference- American culture is their constitution . We don’t in uk have a written constitution , we don’t take oaths of allegiance ..though conservative have a good try with the citizenship tests, 🙄 but most of us would resist adamantly if a government tried to get that into schools. Were happy to knock KC and monarchy and take piss out of it when it deserve piss being taken. We have, in short, no culture of allegiance to our constitution or monarchy.

You never heard Americans criticize the US? You must not have been listening very closely. I hear criticism of the US every single day. It's a proud tradition here.

Honestly, this paragraph is so full of misapprehensions that I'm surprised to learn you had any contact with the US at all.

Reddit is full of Anti American vitriol, mostly by Americans themselves. All the Americans I know are very aware of the shortcomings of their country.

knitnerd90 · 22/07/2024 01:27

Even rabid GOPers will admit things are wrong. They just won't say it to a Democrat and their complaints will be different.

If you want to see what different kinds of poor neighbourhoods look like, look some of these up on Street View:

Nickerson Gardens & Watts, Los Angeles

South Bronx, NYC (if you want to see traditional apartment houses that are now being repaired and gentrified, look at Washington Heights in Manhattan).

West Baltimore (there's a whole swathe of this sadly -- try Sandtown-Winchester)

Not sure of the best choice for Chicago these days. Maybe Lawndale or South Shore.

Kensington, Philadelphia, which is home to an infamous open air drug market. Fairhill as well.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 22/07/2024 02:05

Even for comedy, Malcolm in the middle is what made consider poverty in the US - being scared of your unruly children injuring themselves on sometimes one shit income really hit home for me.

I've learned an awful lot since then and it's mental - being seen as quite poor because you are middle-class 😱.

serialcatbuyer · 22/07/2024 02:08

Doingtheboxerbeat · 22/07/2024 02:05

Even for comedy, Malcolm in the middle is what made consider poverty in the US - being scared of your unruly children injuring themselves on sometimes one shit income really hit home for me.

I've learned an awful lot since then and it's mental - being seen as quite poor because you are middle-class 😱.

I used to think Malcolm was rich

mathanxiety · 22/07/2024 03:19

@knitnerd90
For Chicago try Englewood and Austin.
Also the southern reaches of Martin Luther King Drive and Garfield Blvd just west of the University of Chicago campus/Washington Park, and east of the Dan Ryan expressway.

CyanideShake · 22/07/2024 03:49

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/07/2024 23:51

@CarolinaInTheMorning They don't understand the fact that Trump became president in 2016 even though he did not win the popular vote. I think the worst thing to happen in the past 50 years is to not remove the electoral college.

to me the electroral college system seems so undemocratic. why should wyoming or montana, states with hundreds of thousands of unpopulated acres have as much say as densely populated states like New Jersey or Rhode Island?

mathanxiety · 22/07/2024 03:58

Dartwarbler · 21/07/2024 22:22

I’m not talking about media- I actually avoid most US tv and films as they don’t interest me and just annoy me (with some exceptions)

I’m talking about my experience of working for a USA company for 35 years and visiting multiple sites and locations multiple times a year, talking to my USA colleagues multiple times a day on line and. knowing some of my colleagues in USA for over 25 years. I don’t know how many USA people I spent time with over the years, including weekends being “entertained” and sometimes in their homes with their families if I was staying a longer time, but it’d be in the region of a hundreds not 10s.

yes, my experience was of mid west and Georgia mainly - right wing heartlands. And bible bashing heartland which also doesn’t help with the fairly unchristian lack of compassion for the struggling.

so I repeat, I never heard anyone criticise the culture and expectation and societal norms of USA. Particular governments, yep. Knocking other people , oh yes. But they don’t knock themselves as a country in way brits do. They learn that from a young age in terms of deference to their constitution and flag. That is a fundamental difference- American culture is their constitution . We don’t in uk have a written constitution , we don’t take oaths of allegiance ..though conservative have a good try with the citizenship tests, 🙄 but most of us would resist adamantly if a government tried to get that into schools. Were happy to knock KC and monarchy and take piss out of it when it deserve piss being taken. We have, in short, no culture of allegiance to our constitution or monarchy.

so no, if you read my post properly youd have read it was based on personal experience.

It's been my observation over several decades living here that Americans tend to avoid politics and any topic that touches on politics in conversation unless they are sure they know their company well. Religion likewise.

People are happy to put out lawn signs in support of candidates for all levels of local, state, and national elections where I live, but conversation isn't going to happen outside of an actual canvassing or meet the candidate event.

The hesitancy over politics doesn't come from an overweening sense of patriotism imo. It comes from a desire to stick to topics that promote connection and harmony - you have a 50-50 chance of ending up in an argument if you dip your toe into politics at a social gathering.

The relative absence of (expressed) revolutionary spirit comes from a sense that they have as good a chance as the next person to reap the fruits of living and working in the US - in a home that is probably big enough, driving a car that is fairly new, in a neighbourhood that is pleasant and peaceful, with their children attending good state (public) schools with a prospect of heading to university, joining a fraternity or sorority, fetting a solid degree, and eventually achieving the same lifestyle as they did, surrounded by public amenities that are well maintained and adequately funded, possibly with extended family not too far away, and a circle of friends to liven up their lives. Many achieve this ideal, which breeds optimism.

Americans are also more likely than Brits to belong to an organised religion, and this can contribute to a sense that their lives have meaning, as well as providing a ready-made community. The same goes for local sports tribes. Americans value harmony and tend to try to promote cohesion in their relationships.

mathanxiety · 22/07/2024 04:10

CyanideShake · 22/07/2024 03:49

to me the electroral college system seems so undemocratic. why should wyoming or montana, states with hundreds of thousands of unpopulated acres have as much say as densely populated states like New Jersey or Rhode Island?

Because it's the United States of America, i.e. a union of fifty states.

It's a federal republic, not a direct democracy.

The tension between the 'republican' and 'democratic' elements has existed since the immediate aftermath of the war of independence. These days, it suits Republicans to emphasise the republic and downplay the democracy.

DreamTheMoors · 22/07/2024 04:16

lljkk · 20/07/2024 14:24

Some Americans think British culture is all Cambridge, Sherlock Holmes & afternoon tea.

Roseanne was about WC Americans. So is The Simpsons.

Roseanne once called herself “white trash with money.”
I agree wholeheartedly.

mathanxiety · 22/07/2024 04:24

crowisland · 21/07/2024 23:41

Absolutely- but look how many voters STILL reject the legitimate results and tried to overturn the results on Jan 6! Sure, it’s a huge country with fascinating diversity, from Navaho land to Chinatowns to Miami. But it’s an entirely different thing to leave one’s national comfort zone with an open mind, and to question one’s taken-for-granted assumptions

There is no such thing as a 'national comfort zone' though.

People live in wildly varied regions, and can be as surprised by the culture and ethos of the state next door as they would be if they were plonked down unexpectedly in Amsterdam.

People from the Ozark region visiting Chicago with an open mind will likely find themselves questioning assumptions, and vice versa. Even people visiting other major cities or other rural areas can experience a culture that is new and surprising. There are big differences between New Orleans and Dallas, rural Kentucky and Wyoming.

DreamTheMoors · 22/07/2024 04:32

crowisland · 21/07/2024 20:00

Umm..no, actually. The astonishing ignorance of many (most) Americans-wretched school system—about the rest of the world is shocking. Most do not have passports and would prefer to visit Epcot than leave USA. Most do not read newspapers and get any news from echo chambers like FOX. Have you ever read a local paper in the US? Any foreign news is in a short paragraph on page 26. Which
Complete absence of critical sensibilities. They are gullible and vote against their own interests: Trump, e.g.; they do not have a clue about how a welfare state would benefit them, and distrust it. Qanon is far more widespread than you can imagine. And the puritanical Christianity pervasive reinforces these beliefs- remember, it was settled by British puritan fanatics who were too extreme for Britain!

Exactly. Totally. Sure.
And that’s why Donald lost the House and the Senate and the White House and President Biden won by over 81+MILLION votes.
Because people in the US lack “critical sensibilities.“

DdraigGoch · 22/07/2024 04:32

Do American audiences get confused my things like this when watching UK or European dramas?

Not TV but the former US ambassador to Denmark thought that the Danish middle classes were poor because they "can't afford to drive a car". Er - no, the reason that they ride bicycles for local trips is that it's the most convenient way of getting around the city. Nothing to do with wealth, not everyone views cars as status symbols.

Given that she only got the job because she donated lots of money to Trump she is an unusually thick outlier though.

Danfromdownunder · 22/07/2024 04:38

I reckon most people in Australia with a backyard will hang their washing outside. Everyone I know (clearly a small sample) only use the dryer for emergencies. It’s so expensive to run! Also we love our clotheslines - all Aussies have a hills hoist in the backyard!

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