Is trying on someone else’s engagement ring a faux pas?

[Potee]

So my sister and I are very close, both in age and relationship. I literally can get changed in front of her no issue and we spend a lot of time together. Best friends, share beds on holiday etc. 11 month age gap.

Sister became engaged very recently. When I saw her I congratulated her and obviously asked to see the ring. I asked if I could try it on and she gave it to me. No issue.

Anyway, yesterday my sister and I were having a disagreement and it was one of the fights where you bring every fault into it. And she said something about how my asking for the ring was just plain weird. I apologised later and said I genuinely didn’t know it was a faux pas. Like when I bought my posh birthday watch she tried it on and i thought it was similar thing.

Have since googled and realise some people think it is bad luck but I know sister is not aware of this superstition.

AIBU in thinking I wasn’t deliberately being inappropriate? And her words were just designed to hurt.

I don’t like this implication I have no boundaries. I am actually far too concerned with offending/annoying others.

And you would nearly seen as offending the newly engaged by not wanting to try it on ...

It's part of the congratulations and wishing the couple well.

It's really interesting how traditions differ among relatively close places. I love threads like this. I always learn something

Some people see their engagement ring as sacrosanct

I wouldn't ask to try anyone's engagement ring on, and wouldn't like it if someone asked me.

It's an old tradition in Scotland, along with the tradition of putting silver coins in prams of newborns.

I don’t think it’s weird at all but I don’t see the point or significance of an engagement. For me it would just be trying on a ring.

I suppose if you’re into engagement rings maybe it’s a bit sensitive?

Why would you want to try someone else's jewellery on? That is just weird.

Just thinking of group holidays where there aren’t enough bedrooms in the air BnB. Obviously being basically twins we are always the first to offer sharing. This is happened only 2 months ago on a hen trip

Good Lord the amount of wet wipes on here.
OP whether it's appropriate defers by culture. But if your sister didn't want you trying the ring on, she could've just said no.

End of.

BTW nobody asked to try on my ring and even if they did I'd have said no. I'm not in the habit of sharing jewelry but being engaged also wasn't a massive deal to me. I didn't go around showing off my ring excitedly unless someone asked.

You are not "basically twins" you are sisters. Even twins need their own identities.

Sharing rooms does not mean we don’t have our own identities. I’m just trying to get across that we are close.

Being less than a year apart means we were raised effectively as twins. Ie not the distant, strained sibling relationship full of formality you read about on MN. That is my only point.

Even if you're 'basically twins' - you're not - and were raised that way, perhaps this is something she wanted for herself for once. She should just have told you, though.

I know we’re not actually twins.

I wouldn't have asked my sister, but we don't have that type of relationship anyway. However, I also wouldn't have liked someone asking to try mine. It's a sentimental thing, you've just received it, and somehow having to take it off and pass it around might make it feel less special. I just wouldn't like to be asked.

What's done is done. If you're close, this should soon be forgotten.

I thought it very normal that some people ask to try on a ring.