Is trying on someone else’s engagement ring a faux pas?

[Potee]

So my sister and I are very close, both in age and relationship. I literally can get changed in front of her no issue and we spend a lot of time together. Best friends, share beds on holiday etc. 11 month age gap.

Sister became engaged very recently. When I saw her I congratulated her and obviously asked to see the ring. I asked if I could try it on and she gave it to me. No issue.

Anyway, yesterday my sister and I were having a disagreement and it was one of the fights where you bring every fault into it. And she said something about how my asking for the ring was just plain weird. I apologised later and said I genuinely didn’t know it was a faux pas. Like when I bought my posh birthday watch she tried it on and i thought it was similar thing.

Have since googled and realise some people think it is bad luck but I know sister is not aware of this superstition.

AIBU in thinking I wasn’t deliberately being inappropriate? And her words were just designed to hurt.

I don’t like this implication I have no boundaries. I am actually far too concerned with offending/annoying others.

I wouldn't even think to ask but that's besides the point. It sounds as if you and your sisters relationship is changing, especially on her side and if you still want to remain close then you will both have to kindly adjust to each others boundaries that pop up.
Have a little chat and let her know you are open to her voicing things she is not ok with and vice versa.

With the same ring? 😬

Only if it gets stuck on your finger and your future BIL wants to marry you secretly Family Stone film plot

I try friend’s glasses on and vice versa. Why would that be odd.

Very odd! I've tried on most of my closest friends engagement rings. It was part of admiring them when they were new and totally normal in my friendship group.

I thought it's a thing? Everyone tries on the ring, rotate 3 times towards the heart. Anyone know of this? Maybe it's an Irish thing, everyone around here does this but like many old traditions I have no idea why.

It's a tradition in Ireland! You try it on and make a wish, which can't be for love nor money
It was baffling me to see the first few responses saying it was weird and inappropriate!

I wouldn't ask to try on a friend's ring but sister's would be ok I'd say. What I find it strange is that with such a close relationship your sister didn't feel able to say "actually, I'm getting a bit protective over my ring at the moment, I'd prefer not to let anyone try it on for now". She agreed but apparently resented you for asking...

I let my sister and cousin try my engagement ring on. Didn't think anything about it tbh.

I don’t think it’s weird or a faux pas at all. My sister tries on all my rings and I don’t think she’d have a problem letting me try on her engagement or even her wedding ring if I really wanted to. I don’t see the difference between trying a ring on and just holding it so you can see it better, it would be weird to do that with her finger still in it!

I don't think it's weird - in fact it is usual in Ireland (where I'm from). Rude not to!

Exactly - you try it on and pretend to be blinded by the diamond. Saying you don't want to would be like saying you don't want to hold a new baby that is being handed to you.

I thought it was bad luck to do so. Never thought to let someone try it on or try someone else’s and don’t think anyone ever asked to try mine tbh.

Why would I need to try someone’s on?

Same - lots of my friends tried on my engagement ring when I first got engaged and I didn’t think it was weird at all! More likely to happen if you’re engaged before them so it is very much “ooh diamonds!”, in the same way that you might ask to look at someone’s new handbag!

Lol, so true. I thought my discomfort with newborns would go once I had my own, but turns out nope, that was short-lived!

My sister announced she's leaving me her wedding ring and engagement ring in her will!

I've tried friends engagement rings on, and they've tried mine on when I got engaged, I don't think it's strange between close friends or family.

She should have just said no, not say yes then bring it up in an argument.

Yep Ireland too.

I’ve tried other people on and people have tried mine on.
Its no big deal with my peers.

I think your sister was just grabbing at straws to find things to be annoyed about.

Same here! Turn it clockwise 3 times and make a wish! (When we were young it was for one of your own!)

I think it's an odd thing to do.
It never ever crossed my mind to try anyone's engagement ring on. What's next?! Try on the wedding ring???

It is a very personal item between 2 people only. Something to be passed on after death only.

All my colleagues tried my engagement ring on the next day - mostly because when they wanted to see it, I thought it would be really awkward to have 10 people staring at my hand, so I took it off and gave it to them.

The only one I was annoyed by was the one who 'hilariously' put it on and then walked off, out of the room.

It’s not like you asked to try on the fiance for size.