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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery workers drinking at lunchtime.

534 replies

Brendathedoll · 18/07/2024 13:12

Had a rare day off yesterday so went for a pub lunch with my sister. In there I saw 2 nursery nurses from my child’s daycare having lunch and they each had a glass of wine. There were also 2 empty glasses in the table but possibly from previous customers. I wasn’t happy but my sister says it’s there lunchtime they don’t get paid for and 2 glasses won’t make any difference. They saw me and looked a bit sheepish but it means I can’t report them anon now. I’m scared if I say something they would treat my child differently. Am I being ott thinkinb they shouldn’t drink while caring for kids?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Debdelight · 22/07/2024 06:26

P

Debdelight · 22/07/2024 06:28

Sorry. Phone playing up

  1. Give them some credit that they know drinking on duty is immediate dismissal so they surely wouldn't do it next door knowing they could be seen.
twinklystar23 · 22/07/2024 08:03

I recall this in working in nurseries or other child related roles. I'd have 1/2 cider with a meal with colleagues there wasnt time to eat or drink anymore anyhow. Due to parents like OP who make a deal out of this as though professionals cannot make informed decisions and to be really careful about any alcohol content whatsoever meant I then reverted to sparkling water or tonic water guess what the same result some parents need to wind their necks in.

twinklystar23 · 22/07/2024 08:08

Though think the funniest part was when my colleague who'd not had any alcohol dropped the goldfish and had trouble picking it up due to the poor thing flipping around we did laugh clearly we were all pissed 😂

Bluebirdover · 22/07/2024 09:40

If they are doing something which brings disrespect to their profession, then it is wrong, whether legal or not. They would not lose their job on a point of legality, but on a point of bringing disrepute to the nursery concerned.

How is lunch in a pub bringing disrepute?

I once saw my doctor and dentist out together with their partners having a meal in a pub .. with wine no less!

I don't think they were brining disrepute of either of their professions?

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/07/2024 10:01

Actually the discussion was about drinking during their shift....

Having one or two drinks with a meal is not bringing disrepute to the profession. They shouldn't have to travel miles to dare to enjoy themselves. And even then there's a chance they'll be spotted. Even on holiday it's a risk they have.

You cannot seriously claim to "value" these workers but then also strongly suggest they should be fired for having a drink near their work. Or to compare this to shoplifting!

Ceecee89 · 22/07/2024 13:29

To be honest, I would speak to the nursery office and ask them if they were working on that particular day. If so, then it is your business because it isn't appropriate to be drinking on lunch when looking after multiple children.

llizzie · 22/07/2024 17:36

Lets go back to the OP.

She writes that she saw two nursery workers in a public house, next to the nursery. She said they had a glass in front of them and two empty glasses still on the table.

She has a child at that nursery. She thought it was not a suitable place for two of the nurses who had charge of her little one.

Then she said she wanted to complain anonymously , but the nursery workers saw and recognised her. She was afraid that if they lost their jobs because she had reported them, they would know who had done that, and her and her child might be endangered. Through their belief that they would not be discovered by parents, they instilled fear in the OP.

I am not alone in saying that nursery nurses should not drink in the pub next door to the nursery. It is not illegal. It is, however, unprofessional, and I would bet that every nursery, school, has a rule about not drinking alcohol in public. Some might even go as far as to ban a nearby hostelry.

In fact, I would imagine there are guidelines laid down by whoever issues the nursery licenses and inspects them. If any of the posters who do not agree with me can show me where there is no such standard/code of behaviour in the licensing and inspectors of nurseries, I will give up. I would not renounce my opinion, but I would have to acknowledge that the County Social Services, The QCQ and other bodies don't see a problem

If I were the OP I would take my child out of that nursery and tell them why, and be a bit more careful where I place the child again.

My comments have been against the nurses drinking in the pub next to the place of their employment. I said I did not think it appropriate. I still don't. I think that mother was absolutely right that she did not think they should be drinking alcohol. She would have known the difference between wine and fruit juice.

Those employees were bringing their profession and that nursery into disrepute, because AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARENTS SPOTTED THEM and didn't like what she saw. She wanted to report them. Did she have that right? She most certainly did. What she was afraid of was the revenge they could give her and her child because they recognised her.

None of us were privvy to that look. From it the OP determined that there would be recrimination if she reported them, and was afraid. Why would she feel afraid if they were innocently having a drink before going home for the day?

She had caught them doing something they should not have, because they did not expect to see one of the parents. They thought they were safe.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/07/2024 17:48

Ok but that's not what happened

OP didn't fear if they got fired her DC would be in danger of harm. She was worried it might make her DC be treated differently. That doesn't mean harm necessarily. Just that DC may be treated less favourably.

She also only had concerns that the workers were drinking DURING working hours. She had no issues with them drinking and eating near their place of employment. She also stated she wasn't sure that the empty glasses were theirs.

You ARE alone in stating they shouldn't be seen drinking next door, regardless of whether they were working and no, nurseries don't dictate whether their staff can go for a drink OUTSIDE OF WORKING. Any place that tried to dictate what staff did like that would find it hard to keep staff.

If you are so worried staff might have a life outside work then don't put your child in anyone else's care. Simple.

Again, OP had no issue with them drinking so long as they weren't RETURNING TO WORK

And a "sheepish" look doesn't imply a threat. And is only OP's interpretation based on her own, already perceived lay of the situation.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/07/2024 17:55

Please, find us the bit where any of the governing bodies DO see a problem with it, rather than us providing you the proof since you're the one making a big deal about it.

CatamaranViper · 22/07/2024 19:07

llizzie · 22/07/2024 17:36

Lets go back to the OP.

She writes that she saw two nursery workers in a public house, next to the nursery. She said they had a glass in front of them and two empty glasses still on the table.

She has a child at that nursery. She thought it was not a suitable place for two of the nurses who had charge of her little one.

Then she said she wanted to complain anonymously , but the nursery workers saw and recognised her. She was afraid that if they lost their jobs because she had reported them, they would know who had done that, and her and her child might be endangered. Through their belief that they would not be discovered by parents, they instilled fear in the OP.

I am not alone in saying that nursery nurses should not drink in the pub next door to the nursery. It is not illegal. It is, however, unprofessional, and I would bet that every nursery, school, has a rule about not drinking alcohol in public. Some might even go as far as to ban a nearby hostelry.

In fact, I would imagine there are guidelines laid down by whoever issues the nursery licenses and inspects them. If any of the posters who do not agree with me can show me where there is no such standard/code of behaviour in the licensing and inspectors of nurseries, I will give up. I would not renounce my opinion, but I would have to acknowledge that the County Social Services, The QCQ and other bodies don't see a problem

If I were the OP I would take my child out of that nursery and tell them why, and be a bit more careful where I place the child again.

My comments have been against the nurses drinking in the pub next to the place of their employment. I said I did not think it appropriate. I still don't. I think that mother was absolutely right that she did not think they should be drinking alcohol. She would have known the difference between wine and fruit juice.

Those employees were bringing their profession and that nursery into disrepute, because AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARENTS SPOTTED THEM and didn't like what she saw. She wanted to report them. Did she have that right? She most certainly did. What she was afraid of was the revenge they could give her and her child because they recognised her.

None of us were privvy to that look. From it the OP determined that there would be recrimination if she reported them, and was afraid. Why would she feel afraid if they were innocently having a drink before going home for the day?

She had caught them doing something they should not have, because they did not expect to see one of the parents. They thought they were safe.

I literally see one of DSs teachers in the local pub (across the road from my house and the school) and had a drink with them on more than one occasion.
In fact, one of the other parents in DSs class regularly goes out with the head teacher for meals and drinks etc.

Seeing someone with alcohol does not bring a company into disrepute.
If they were drinking on the job or wearing full uniform then that's a different story.

Debdelight · 22/07/2024 19:13

llizzie · 22/07/2024 17:36

Lets go back to the OP.

She writes that she saw two nursery workers in a public house, next to the nursery. She said they had a glass in front of them and two empty glasses still on the table.

She has a child at that nursery. She thought it was not a suitable place for two of the nurses who had charge of her little one.

Then she said she wanted to complain anonymously , but the nursery workers saw and recognised her. She was afraid that if they lost their jobs because she had reported them, they would know who had done that, and her and her child might be endangered. Through their belief that they would not be discovered by parents, they instilled fear in the OP.

I am not alone in saying that nursery nurses should not drink in the pub next door to the nursery. It is not illegal. It is, however, unprofessional, and I would bet that every nursery, school, has a rule about not drinking alcohol in public. Some might even go as far as to ban a nearby hostelry.

In fact, I would imagine there are guidelines laid down by whoever issues the nursery licenses and inspects them. If any of the posters who do not agree with me can show me where there is no such standard/code of behaviour in the licensing and inspectors of nurseries, I will give up. I would not renounce my opinion, but I would have to acknowledge that the County Social Services, The QCQ and other bodies don't see a problem

If I were the OP I would take my child out of that nursery and tell them why, and be a bit more careful where I place the child again.

My comments have been against the nurses drinking in the pub next to the place of their employment. I said I did not think it appropriate. I still don't. I think that mother was absolutely right that she did not think they should be drinking alcohol. She would have known the difference between wine and fruit juice.

Those employees were bringing their profession and that nursery into disrepute, because AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARENTS SPOTTED THEM and didn't like what she saw. She wanted to report them. Did she have that right? She most certainly did. What she was afraid of was the revenge they could give her and her child because they recognised her.

None of us were privvy to that look. From it the OP determined that there would be recrimination if she reported them, and was afraid. Why would she feel afraid if they were innocently having a drink before going home for the day?

She had caught them doing something they should not have, because they did not expect to see one of the parents. They thought they were safe.

Surely if it is in the QCQ or Social Services guidelines then it would be put in the nursery terms and conditions.

Of the 3 contracts Dd has had in her career it has been in none.

Bluebirdover · 22/07/2024 19:25

llizzie · 22/07/2024 17:36

Lets go back to the OP.

She writes that she saw two nursery workers in a public house, next to the nursery. She said they had a glass in front of them and two empty glasses still on the table.

She has a child at that nursery. She thought it was not a suitable place for two of the nurses who had charge of her little one.

Then she said she wanted to complain anonymously , but the nursery workers saw and recognised her. She was afraid that if they lost their jobs because she had reported them, they would know who had done that, and her and her child might be endangered. Through their belief that they would not be discovered by parents, they instilled fear in the OP.

I am not alone in saying that nursery nurses should not drink in the pub next door to the nursery. It is not illegal. It is, however, unprofessional, and I would bet that every nursery, school, has a rule about not drinking alcohol in public. Some might even go as far as to ban a nearby hostelry.

In fact, I would imagine there are guidelines laid down by whoever issues the nursery licenses and inspects them. If any of the posters who do not agree with me can show me where there is no such standard/code of behaviour in the licensing and inspectors of nurseries, I will give up. I would not renounce my opinion, but I would have to acknowledge that the County Social Services, The QCQ and other bodies don't see a problem

If I were the OP I would take my child out of that nursery and tell them why, and be a bit more careful where I place the child again.

My comments have been against the nurses drinking in the pub next to the place of their employment. I said I did not think it appropriate. I still don't. I think that mother was absolutely right that she did not think they should be drinking alcohol. She would have known the difference between wine and fruit juice.

Those employees were bringing their profession and that nursery into disrepute, because AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARENTS SPOTTED THEM and didn't like what she saw. She wanted to report them. Did she have that right? She most certainly did. What she was afraid of was the revenge they could give her and her child because they recognised her.

None of us were privvy to that look. From it the OP determined that there would be recrimination if she reported them, and was afraid. Why would she feel afraid if they were innocently having a drink before going home for the day?

She had caught them doing something they should not have, because they did not expect to see one of the parents. They thought they were safe.

You are alone in saying they should not drink in a pub next to the nursery and you're batshit crazy to even think it!

You've now fabricated another scenario that OP thinks her child will be in danger.

Are you crazy or what?

Bluebirdover · 22/07/2024 19:27

llizzie · 22/07/2024 17:36

Lets go back to the OP.

She writes that she saw two nursery workers in a public house, next to the nursery. She said they had a glass in front of them and two empty glasses still on the table.

She has a child at that nursery. She thought it was not a suitable place for two of the nurses who had charge of her little one.

Then she said she wanted to complain anonymously , but the nursery workers saw and recognised her. She was afraid that if they lost their jobs because she had reported them, they would know who had done that, and her and her child might be endangered. Through their belief that they would not be discovered by parents, they instilled fear in the OP.

I am not alone in saying that nursery nurses should not drink in the pub next door to the nursery. It is not illegal. It is, however, unprofessional, and I would bet that every nursery, school, has a rule about not drinking alcohol in public. Some might even go as far as to ban a nearby hostelry.

In fact, I would imagine there are guidelines laid down by whoever issues the nursery licenses and inspects them. If any of the posters who do not agree with me can show me where there is no such standard/code of behaviour in the licensing and inspectors of nurseries, I will give up. I would not renounce my opinion, but I would have to acknowledge that the County Social Services, The QCQ and other bodies don't see a problem

If I were the OP I would take my child out of that nursery and tell them why, and be a bit more careful where I place the child again.

My comments have been against the nurses drinking in the pub next to the place of their employment. I said I did not think it appropriate. I still don't. I think that mother was absolutely right that she did not think they should be drinking alcohol. She would have known the difference between wine and fruit juice.

Those employees were bringing their profession and that nursery into disrepute, because AT LEAST ONE OF THE PARENTS SPOTTED THEM and didn't like what she saw. She wanted to report them. Did she have that right? She most certainly did. What she was afraid of was the revenge they could give her and her child because they recognised her.

None of us were privvy to that look. From it the OP determined that there would be recrimination if she reported them, and was afraid. Why would she feel afraid if they were innocently having a drink before going home for the day?

She had caught them doing something they should not have, because they did not expect to see one of the parents. They thought they were safe.

Yes do go back to the OP, particularly where the OP says she thinks they were "on duty"?

Comprehension issues galore with you!

llizzie · 22/07/2024 21:21

Singersong · 18/07/2024 13:17

Completely inappropriate and I would report. How did they get there? If they had 2 glasses each, they'd have had more than the legal driving limit. It's also illegal to work in a nursery under the influence of alcohol. If someone is careless enough to break the law on their lunch break, I wouldn't want them looking after my children.

I quite agree with you.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/07/2024 23:14

llizzie · 22/07/2024 21:21

I quite agree with you.

No you don't

You think beyond that, they shouldn't be allowed to drink in public at all

And anyone making leaps to drink driving seems to forget that taxis, public transport and friends/family giving lifts are a thing!

llizzie · 22/07/2024 23:56

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 22/07/2024 23:14

No you don't

You think beyond that, they shouldn't be allowed to drink in public at all

And anyone making leaps to drink driving seems to forget that taxis, public transport and friends/family giving lifts are a thing!

Oh my: a mind reader.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 23/07/2024 00:28

llizzie · 22/07/2024 23:56

Oh my: a mind reader.

No

Just a reader

At this point I'm not sure even you know what rubbish you've spouted tbh

Flossyflop · 23/07/2024 07:29

This has made the papers now

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/29325062/nursery-staff-drinking-alcohol-lunch-break/amp/

Bluebirdover · 23/07/2024 07:41

Flossyflop · 23/07/2024 07:29

I can't say I'm surprised!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 23/07/2024 08:05

It made the papers on Day 1. It's been mentioned a lot

ElaineMBenes · 23/07/2024 08:11

The discussion is about whether people whose profession it is to care for the babies/children of others should drink alcohol in pubs where they are likely to be recognised. It is about whether those with a duty of care are acting responsibly by being seen to drink alcohol next door to their place of employment.

If they are doing something which brings disrespect to their profession,

This is crazy!
I live in a small village and we see teachers and nursery nurses from the local school/nursery in our local pubs all the time because they also live in that village!!
Are they not supposed to socialise in the place they live @llizzie ? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Crystallizedring · 23/07/2024 10:08

llizzie · 21/07/2024 18:11

Bluebirdover · Today 16:25
** why?

The public house (aka pub and are you the person who uses the term brassier abd not bra?), could be used, because...

------------

What do you mean by this please? As far as I can remember, I have not posted about the garment on this site. You are obviously trying to make a point: it just escapes me what it is.

I am impressed by the number of people who think that bad language and putting forward the case for supporting care workers seen drinking in pubs near their place of work will change my mind. It will not.

If you place your baby in someone else's care, do you expect them to have been trained? Do you look at their references? Does the nursery owner show you the references of the staff they employ? If they do not, do they instead vouch for them in writing? Ask yourselves all you who agree with the staff in the pub, if you would expect good references. Why do you expect them, since you excuse their behaviour outside of work? It might not be drinking in or out of hours: it could be shoplifting - or WORSE - if you get my drift.

What the responses to the OP have shown is that British education has failed to teach social history, and if you don't have knowledge of the past, how can you make life better?

Put it another way: HOW DO YOU CHOOSE A NURSERY PLACE FOR YOUR BABIES? Do you choose one that has empty places to fill? (rather like putting gran away in a residential home which is half empty and not asking why) Do you ask about the staff, their qualifications and where they were trained? Do you ask to see their qualifications, or just take the boss's word for it? Do you ask about ratio of staff to babies, bearing in mind it changes for age differences?

If you were well off and had the money to pay a nanny, where would you go to find one? Wouldn't your first thought be the best trained nannies? That would be very expensive, but you can be sure that such nannies and nursery nurses would NEVER discredit their training or their employers by being seen in compromising places. It is perfectly acceptable to enjoy yourself in your days off in the company of friends, including drinking alcohol outside working hours. Have I said otherwise? That is not the same as popping to the pub next door and having a lunch washed down with alcohol. If people responsible for the care of others want to drink, why flaunt themselves by choosing to be so close to their employment, if they want to ensure they get a good reference?

So you would expect a nursery nurse on a half day (so not returning to work) to get a bad reference if they had a drink after work? Any other restrictions you'd like to place on a job done by professionals who are paid peanuts?
And why should they have to go miles away to have a drink (meaning they can't drive) when there is a pub next door? They could go a mile away or 10 miles away and still run in to a parent but obviously nursery staff should never drink so no problem

Inyournewdress · 24/07/2024 02:07

From what OP has said, it seems that she does suspect that staff from her child’s nursery were consuming (possibly multiple) alcoholic drinks and returning to work. She saw the glasses and she mentioned staffing issues so suspects both having the rest of the day off is unlikely. I don’t know if any of that was the case but I think that is what OP strongly suspects. I would withdraw my child at that point, because sending them back into the care of people I suspect to be under the influence would not be an option for me.

llizzie · 24/07/2024 19:37

Inyournewdress · 24/07/2024 02:07

From what OP has said, it seems that she does suspect that staff from her child’s nursery were consuming (possibly multiple) alcoholic drinks and returning to work. She saw the glasses and she mentioned staffing issues so suspects both having the rest of the day off is unlikely. I don’t know if any of that was the case but I think that is what OP strongly suspects. I would withdraw my child at that point, because sending them back into the care of people I suspect to be under the influence would not be an option for me.

So would I.

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