To move house to busier road to keep DH happy?

[BeethovenNinth]

We live in a fine enough house; was always temporary as we are a big family. I’m ashamed to say my DH himself is too ashamed to bring people back (work colleagues etc) as our house is very modest. (Please no judgement here- this is the way it is).

thing is, I like our little house. We have nice neighbours and a sunny enough little garden. DH is desperate for more space - he has a hobby that needs more space.

we have been looking a very long time and can’t find a house we agree on. In short - I’m a picky nightmare. Every house I look at, I find fault with (eg aspect of house, sun, a not so good walk for the kids to school, too far from bus stop).

new house is fine. The garden is a little darker but it’s on a busier road it gives us much more space and a huge garage.. ( We currently live on a through road to an estate already and our back garden is already about 25 m from a busy town road). New house fronts to a previously rural road which leads to next town so a quieter road in some respects but still a lot of cars at peak times eg sometimes need to wait to cross at 0800. Very quiet road at night. (This is small town in rural ish Scotland so not massively busy)

DH desperate to move, we offer at 10am. I will be fine with it but worried about traffic noise annoying me. (Although I type this listening to a fair bit of traffic noise as it is - just further away).

also not sure how bad the extra pollution is in terms of the kids playing out.

sorry for length of post. This is the first house we both like and I’m nervous and can’t sleep!!!

@BeethovenNinth good luck with it! It's a big step, but sounds like a positive one!

The problem is not anything to do with this house or the others you've looked at - it's that you really don't want to move. Admittedly if you two can't see eye to eye on this it's going to be very hard to progress without stumbling blocks

Go for it. It will only be busy at peak times.

You are seriously overthinking this.

We live on a really quiet road. In the past we lived on a much busier road and I hated it. It just depends on what your priorities are. No one can decide for you.

Why are the owners moving?

It sounds like a normal road, not a busy one!

However, I hate to say this...
Tractors at harvest time. They are at it all hours... they work flat out. That was a big surprise to me when we moved onto a road tractors use!! I can tell the difference between a lorry, a double decker bus, a single decker bus and a tractor by the noise now. (Even an empty tractor trailer and a full one!). But I don't notice the noise as such.

It’s really passive aggressive to find fault with every house you see

All that is fine. Air quality is no different in terms of health, being by a busy road vs not, it's the general air in the area. Only 7 countries in the world have a good enough air quality to be deemed acceptable by the World Health Organization, and the UK isn't one of them.

If you care about air quality you need to move to somewhere like Australia, it will add 3 years on your life.

Re traffic noise, it doesn't sound like there's an excessive amount of traffic and you can always upgrade to better windows and shutters.

Your husband sounds like he's been very reasonable so I would go with this one. You always have to make a compromise when it comes to houses, and it sounds like your current compromise (not enough space) is bigger than the one you'd be trading it in for.

I know you want to make the right decision but it sounds like the guy has the patience of a saint, and all the time you're putting it off he's lacking the space he needs. You don't want this one to go and regret it because you never find anything better and you're stuck in your small house.

You will NEVER find a perfect house.

TBH it sounds like you have a huge wish list yet you are not willing to compromise on any of them, meanwhile you are languishing in a too small 'temporary' house.

Sounds like this house is a brilliant option

Never move closer to traffic. Noise is terrible, but it’s the least of it. Traffic pollution kills & maims. The damage increases rapidly with proximity and it’s worse for children. There’s plenty of data on the effects of exhaust gases and particulates. Do some research.

If you wouldn’t live with a smoker for the sake of your children, you certainly shouldn’t make a move that brings your children closer to a busy road.

This is not a busy road, she is not moving into a house on the South Circular or M6. It's a quiet-ish rural road, just a bit busier than what she's used to.

@BeethovenNinth why do you have to be the one who sleeps downstairs? I know it’s not the point of the thread, sorry!

How about you being happy?
The thing about appeasing other people is that
it's a very ungrateful act, it's shit and nobody will return your favour, unless they absolutely have to.
Keep that in mind.
If I ever move again, it won't be anything to do with my husband. (Kindly).

Glad you've put in an offer, OP, I hope you get the house.

Pollution kills. Over time it shortens life expectancy so it's not something to overlook for children you're right.

Here is a map so check out the risks:

naei.beis.gov.uk/emissionsapp/

An A road is by definition a busy road and the M6 between the lakes and Carlisle has less traffic than the A25.

None of this changes the point that parents should do their best to keep their children away from motor vehicles.

Not necessarily. There are lots of A roads in Scotland (where the OP says she is) which are not busy by any stretch of the imagination.

The new house and situation sound pretty good, but you shouldn't be the one sleeping downstairs. Your husband wants the house, the big garage and a special hobby room, plus he is the one with insomnia. Therefore, he should be the one sleeping downstairs so that when he is up and down during the night using the loo he will be less likely to disturb the rest of the household. Also if he sleeps downstairs he will be close to his precious music room.

Please don't martyr yourself by choosing the tiniest room to sleep in. You are the other adult in the household, you deserve a decent sized bedroom upstairs, make this your priority in the new house from day one.

Fingers crossed for you that you get the house.

The OP put “busier road” in the title of the thread and talked about increased noise & pollution. Clearly OP is concerned about the traffic on the road.

Good luck. I think it has more pluses than negatives.

I hope you've gone ahead with it

I went from a quiet road in a village to a main road in a town. The traffic noise isn't really noticeable in the house but we get a lot of sirens because it's an easy route for emergency services. It took a while to get used to the traffic noise in the back garden but I prefer it now. In our old house it was so quiet you could hear conversations several houses away.

Did you read her other posts?

OP admits she has great anxiety about moving, but says the road is an A road with the traffic of a B road.

B roads in rural Scotland are generally quiet.

Yes, I read the OP’s posts.

OP is better able to judge traffic levels on the roads in question than anyone else. Only OP can tell whether new house has less or more traffic than current house and by how much.

Many people are trying to minimise OP’s concerns about traffic. I am not. Sound pollution, exhaust gases, and particulates are all harmful to health. I am encouraging OP to do some research about the harms, form her own conclusions about the relative harms of the different locations, and then take that into account when choosing. OP has already expressed a preference to take those factors into account. I’m just attempting to reinforce those instincts (primarily as a counterweight to the posters downplaying the harms or making conclusions about traffic levels without direct knowledge).