To move house to busier road to keep DH happy?

[BeethovenNinth]

We live in a fine enough house; was always temporary as we are a big family. I’m ashamed to say my DH himself is too ashamed to bring people back (work colleagues etc) as our house is very modest. (Please no judgement here- this is the way it is).

thing is, I like our little house. We have nice neighbours and a sunny enough little garden. DH is desperate for more space - he has a hobby that needs more space.

we have been looking a very long time and can’t find a house we agree on. In short - I’m a picky nightmare. Every house I look at, I find fault with (eg aspect of house, sun, a not so good walk for the kids to school, too far from bus stop).

new house is fine. The garden is a little darker but it’s on a busier road it gives us much more space and a huge garage.. ( We currently live on a through road to an estate already and our back garden is already about 25 m from a busy town road). New house fronts to a previously rural road which leads to next town so a quieter road in some respects but still a lot of cars at peak times eg sometimes need to wait to cross at 0800. Very quiet road at night. (This is small town in rural ish Scotland so not massively busy)

DH desperate to move, we offer at 10am. I will be fine with it but worried about traffic noise annoying me. (Although I type this listening to a fair bit of traffic noise as it is - just further away).

also not sure how bad the extra pollution is in terms of the kids playing out.

sorry for length of post. This is the first house we both like and I’m nervous and can’t sleep!!!

agnes that’s a fair point. I could plant some trees all round the perimeter fence and it would help re noise into the garden. It wouldn’t help the noise upstairs as the house is set high up although the builder put in a few birch trees and they are growing in height

God no, don’t do it.

Go for it OP, I think it will give you all a nice quality of life.

The problem is that "busier" is not an absolute term, busier means something different to everyone. From what you're saying it doesn't sound like you're on the M8, you're just looking for reasons not to move.

Sounds like a really lovely home that will suit your large family much better than what you are currently in. The road doesn't sound bad at all either, quiet, little traffic, rural and 20mph limits.

From your OP I was expecting it to be a really mad, constantly busy main road!

I think you are going to find a problem with every single house you look at, whether you take this one or spend a year looking at another 20.

Hedges are very effective at reducing airborne pollution and also have other advantages such as wind filtering and noise-dampening, so that's one thing you could do to improve that aspect? It sounds like a great house that will really work for your needs!

(I do think that if my DH was insomniac then he would be the one to move out the marital bedroom, as he can get up and read if he can't sleep. I really wouldn't be the one who had to give up sleeping in a bedroom because my spouse had difficulty sleeping. It seems very unfair, that...)

Pollution will inevitably reduce with fewer petrol and diesel fuelled vehicles on the road.

DH is desperate for me to share with him. For a while, we had a separate wee bed for me in his room but he is up peeing and tossing and turning all night and I can’t be doing with it! When we had our third, she slept terribly and I used to co sleep with her in her nursery and basically after I got rid of her, I never want back to DH. I guess I take the crap room out of guilt but I really need my sleep and I sleep like a zombie.

I would never move to a busy road. Pollution and traffic noise would make me crazy. There was another thread about this not too long ago and some raised the point of traffic noise affecting sleep which causes higher rates of dementia and mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

A road where you sometimes have to wait to cross at 8am doesn't sound like a busy road that would affect your health.

I know it’s not an easy fix by any means, but if he could somehow work on the insomnia it would solve a couple of issues at source so to speak.

I personally wouldn’t be worrying about pollution although I wouldn’t like lorries coming right by too often just for the noise. It sounds like that would be quite sporadic though and the 20mph is useful, even though they don’t all stick to it. I’d be worried about proximity to a road for my dog, but if the garden was dog/kid proof I’d feel better about that.

Overall that location wouldn’t be ideal for me but as you say, you have searched and it hasn’t been easy to find something. You’ve outgrown your current house and you probably know it isn’t your forever house, so at some point you’ll need to take a leap. It’s a question of trying to work out if you’re putting blocks up irrationally or if this house isn’t the one.

Neighbours are a huge thing for me. Knowing and liking the new neighbour is valuable, so that would be a big tick for me presuming they are likely to stay.

Please don’t move, I bought a house near a busy road. I can honestly say it was the biggest mistake I’m of my life, I’ve since moved and every day is a blessing.
It’s not just the noise, it’s flashing lights, pollution and shaking if there’s a big lorry going by.

Not sure it’s right to say oh I’m so neurotic and a pita. If you know you’re not behaving right, you can make yourself not behave like this, just bite your tongue.

this is clearly a quiet road, and you’ve rejected every other house, so this time, it’s time to say yes.

Exactly. A 20mph road where you can easily exit your driveway is not busy!

My house almost backs on to a dual carriageway at the rear. There is a small field in between but it’s not that far away. I was concerned about it before buying the house. I grew up in a tiny village that was a dead end so no road noise at all really.

I decided to park up by the house several times at different times of the day to assess how bad the noise was. I decided it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined and went ahead with the purchase. I’m so glad I did. The property is perfect for me. I don’t notice the noise any more (in fact the quieter road at the front is somehow worse as its occasional cars which are more noticeable than constant, somehow. Maybe the road surface is different? I don’t know.

Either way - it’s not been an issue.

Putting aside the house and where it's located, does the immediate area work for you in terms of what you'd like around you locally, whether it's a bus stop, shops, takeaway, pub? Obviously if you're concerned about the road, just be sure that the garden can be made secure for your dogs in the future - easily done - fencing/hedges.

One thing, why can't DH have the room downstairs and you have one of the rooms upstairs with the rest of the family? It's his problem that he can't sleep and is keeping you awake. I know that wouldn't solve the traffic issue, but would it make it more appealing to live there - ie if you agree to the house, can you have a room upstairs?!

Honestly it doesn’t sound like a busy road, an A road in a rural Scottish town isn’t remotely like an A road elsewhere. It sounds like you just really don’t want to move - maybe that’s the conversation you need to have with your husband instead of keeping looking only for you to find minor, insurmountable faults with every house. That would drive me crazy to be honest.

we live on a similar sounding road. Rush hour traffic doesn't bother us unless we want a lie in with the bedroom windows open. Then I put ear plugs in.

Gosh this thread is an eye opener to the hysteria of pollution anxiety. It's fine you are not living in the middle of a smog filled large city.

I don’t share with my OH due to his snoring. People think it’s so strange. I don’t give a f - sleep is necessary to be healthy and happy!

Make sure your room is nice!

My brother had a lovely house in a main road in a suburb of Manchester. He had viewed it during the day, like an idiot he didn't go back at rush hour.
Morning and evening a constant stream of traffic. There were traffic lights further along the road, so there were idling cars waiting to move. It all started early in the morning. When I stayed for a visit I couldn't sleep, especially I summer with windows open.
he had a largish front garden, but when he was unwell I changed the net curtains on the windows, they were absolutely filthy from the traffic. I wondered what it did to the lungs.
but I live up a farm track in rural Scotland, so it would drive me nuts, but he was a 'city boy' and didn't mind. Horses for courses.

The new house and garden sound lovely and well situated despite the increased traffic noise, but it also sounds like you are happy and settled where you are and just don't want to move. Is it because you are deeply emotionally attached to your current house or is it fear of change do you think? I am sure you will grow to love your new place once you have all your things in place and get to work on the garden.

I live on a busy road and it’s fine, you get used to the noise very quickly. Tbh as you seem to have found out it was the only way we could afford to buy a big enough property in our village! We are also in a cul de sac off the main road but our side garden backs onto the main road. We don’t use it as much but have a large back garden anyway.

Thanks sushi. Huge fear of big change. Or rather anxiety about getting it wrong.

I love my current house but we have all outgrown it and it’s time for change

we have offered!!!

really appreciate all views.

(I actually looked again this morning and even at 0845, there are large traffic gaps. More gaps than cars)