To Feel Angered by People Taking So Many Photos for the 'Gram...?

[LilacCatt]

I am feeling so nostalgic right now for life pre-social media and pre-smart phones.

I am mid 30s. When I was 17 I had MySpace. When I was 19 I had Facebook. I deleted social media when I was 21 and have been without ever since. I use WhatsApp and occasionally have a peruse of Mumsnet.

Anyway.

Lately (for the past few years), I feel like whenever I visit a remotely interesting place (days out are my favourite thing to do) I am just so distracted from my own enjoyment by people around me posing for photos. Sometimes I see people doing really cringey things such as taking a few steps forward whilst getting their photo taken as if "candid", then quickly checking the result, and then going back to their original spot to take the same few steps forward whilst posing again.

Oh my god. This is all with people around them who are trying to enjoy the moment of the place of interest.

I feel it really repulses me, and actually angers me.

But I can't articulate WHY that is.

I don't want to be a bitter or angry person.

So I just want to explore this emotion a bit more, and open up the floor for a debate here.

Am I being unreasonable to have the inner emotional reaction when I see this sort of thing going on around me?

Should I live and let live?

Is it a symbol of everything wrong in society???

Questioning myself and my thoughts.

Thanks.

The aesthetic value of things rising is an interesting point. I see this in the house renovation side of insta. Recently saw someone who had used foam draught excluder stuff (or similar) stuck to her wall and painted over to create the look of panelling. In the pictures it looked good, looked legit. But in real life you have squidgy foam stuck to the wall? I think the same to be honest about the 'panelling' that's just strips of wood, though at least it's actually wood. But it's not panelling (is it?). It's strips of wood glued to the wall. Or has that always been a thing? I feel like I'd feel silly to do it. Either have actual panelling or don't, surely.

Bit of a tangent there 😂😂 it feels linked in some way though. To do with how things look being primary, the actual usefulness/experience being secondary.

Yes, there is a loss here somewhere.

Photos I dont mind, but what I find strange is when people go to a concert or whatever and arent actually enjoying it because they're too busy taking photos - as if thats more important than the actual experience.

When you look back at your photos you wont even remember what happened, all you'll remember is the desperateness of trying to get the perfect shot which is a bit sad.

I have photos on my phone and yeah, I rarely look at them tbh. I have loads of childhood photos in the loft and dont think I have ever once gone through them just to look at them. It just doesnt occur to me in the busyness of life.

I take lots of pictures when I'm visiting new places. Occasionally we ask someone to take a picture of the 3 of us together. If something is pretty or has given me an idea, I will take a picture.

None of that means I'm not enjoying being there.

My Mom never took pictures. There are no pictures of me or my siblings as children. None of holidays, none of Christmas or birthdays or days out. Zero. I was maybe 10 on my first sibling photo and 11 with the first picture of me and my Dad. The only photo of me with my Mom is on my wedding day and that was only 1 picture.

My Mom was like you, thought it was unnecessary as everything is in your memory. She ended up with dementia and started having trouble remembering things to begin with. We couldn't even show photos as there were none to show.

Of course the people that are continually posing to get the perfect shot are irritating but it's their choice. If they want to pay the entry fee to take a million photos of themselves, that's their choice. It has no impact on my day because ignore them and do what I'm there to do. If they start affecting me then I say something and move on, e.g. if they bump into me or are blocking the way.

Why are you feelings of hatred so strong? It's quite an over reaction if it's leaving you like this. Stress has a huge negative impact on your wellbeing so I'd seriously start doing something about it before you make yourself unwell

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Media-Routledge-Marshall-McLuhan/dp/0415253977

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/240798916_Communicative_Capitalism_Circulation_and_the_Foreclosure_of_Politics

These are the McLuhan and Jodie Dean things.

McLuhan is the person who coined the phrase 'the medium is the message'

Dean talks about the value of the message becoming its transmission (e.g. number of re-grams/ likes etc) rather than the information it conveys this divorcing communication from information sharing and making it a kind of capitalistic numbers game.

Both older references but I think both really shed light on all kinds of social media communication.

I really hate the fake natural shots. Look you captured me looking thoughtfully into the middle distance

I’ll never forget some poor bloke in Rome trying to take a photo of his girlfriend pouting and posing in front of the Victor Emmanuel II monument with people pushing past him the whole time.

If I am there to enjoy a view I don’t care if someone else is snapping selfies of themselves. I don’t notice them much.

I don’t have social media accounts so the influencers would go broke if I was their target audience lol.

I think because old photos of our ancestors from say the pre-war years for example, or even the 50s/60s/70s were fairly rare that they really felt valuable and left a distinct impression - a wedding day photo for e.g.

But 750 photos of Mandy and Phil in Dubai showing off their dentistry among other tweakments, just won't hit the same I feel

<runs away>

😆

I take lots of pictures when I'm visiting new places. Occasionally we ask someone to take a picture of the 3 of us together. If something is pretty or has given me an idea, I will take a picture.

I know posters have mentioned self obsession a few times on this thread but the OP isn’t talking about you and the above behaviour.

My Mom was like you, thought it was unnecessary as everything is in your memory. She ended up with dementia and started having trouble remembering things to begin with. We couldn't even show photos as there were none to show.

Where did the OP says she never takes photos of anything or anyone? It’s a weird take to read the OP and relate it to your mum.

@ClamSpaghetti Stayed in an air bnb recently, friends booked it. Looked beautiful, very insta style. But so many things were annoying eg the basin in one bathroom was too shallow for the tap height so massive splash back, another sink had too little space between taps and sink so washing your face was hard. Sink was too small in kitchen, sofa back was too low, etc. Now it may have just been bad design choices as opposed to buying things just for the look but it made me think.

It angers you because it is the reflection of a more self absorbed, individualistic society.

@CynicalSunni hit the nail on the head. It upsets me too. I admit i am highly judgement about it, I immediately presume someone posing for Instagram is of low intellect. When not doing this they spent their days trawling through other people's photos telling everyone how fantastic they are. I think this trend of constantly praising other people's superficial pictures to be quite disturbing. And to be honest I hate that it's mostly women, conforming to every cliché about women being shallow and vain.

What makes me laugh is the honesty of the language of it. Someone who tries to make money by influencing you to spend more money on shit you don't need is literally called an 'influencer'. People 'follow' each other and openly admit this.

Yeah, I was going to say that about me not valuing photos but I didn't want to come across arsey 😅

I definitely do see value in photos, that's not what I mean.

She said herself she doesn't and that if anyone asks, she shows them Google image pictures because she wouldn't be able to take a different picture.

And sorry for sharing my experience of pictures not being taken. I'm happy to report it if it's not meeting the guidelines of the topic?

I had the weirdest experience recently - at Taylor swift concert and the young woman next to me (who was really rude and not friendly like everyone else) spent a lot of time filming HERSELF from the side, singing along. With exaggerated movements. Not Taylor but her.

I was quietly gobsmacked. Who gives a fuck, love?

Ah okay yes, I get you now.

I do do this. But not in a way that I never take any photos, ever.

That is really the height of narcissism isn’t it, paying to see a major international star and then just filming yourself singing along!

You might not see the value in the photos I took last week. Does that mean they shouldn't have been taken?

I know what your trying to say but none of your posts have come across well. You've obviously got a lot of anger inside of you and there's probably something in that that needs investigating and you'd probably then find the insta generation mildly annoying like everyone else as opposed to the hatred your holding onto.

Its ridiculous isn't it?! And where does the confidence come from to do that?! How have they been raised?!

@YellowphantGrey where?

I read this I like photos. I take a few snaps to look back on. As memories. This is totally fine. Memories from places I have particularly enjoyed being.

I took that to mean the OP takes photos but maybe I’m wrong 😆.

And sorry for sharing my experience of pictures not being taken. I'm happy to report it if it's not meeting the guidelines of the topic?

I said it was a weird take, which it is but you do you.

I know what your trying to say but none of your posts have come across well. You've obviously got a lot of anger inside of you and there's probably something in that that needs investigating and you'd probably then find the insta generation mildly annoying like everyone else as opposed to the hatred your holding onto.

The irony 😆

It's really nefarious. Instagram has turned young people into narcissists - particularly women and plenty of men as well. Instagram and Love Island are the death of culture.

Then there's Tik Tok which has ruined young people's into attention spans - and any other scrolling junkie who uses this Chinese app that is banned there.

It's all very Idiocracy. The west is done.

She said if people ask for photos of places she has been, she shows them Google image photos as she wouldn't have taken any different ones. I took at that as her taking no pictures because it's already there on Google.

And the reason I mentioned my mom is because she also took no pictures because like the OP, she believed they are already there in your memory, except the day came where she began to lose hers and we had nothing to show or to remind her. More of a way to say that photos are important and have a place. It's also perfectly normal to share an experience when it relates to something your posting about.

I get the whole influencer culture and like everyone else find it irritating but the OPs reaction of hatred is quite a strong one, hence why I said it must be something deeper down that needs working on

Irony? Why?

I'm not angry, far from it, why do you think that?!

Remember the really descriptive words the op used and her admissions of hatred and anger over this?

Or are you just bored and deciding to come at me for entertainment?!

Weird 😅