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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is husband being unreasonable with mail?

63 replies

Cookingwithflo · 12/07/2024 15:54

I had bought my partner tickets to two shows in London, I've had to put them both down with his name as I'm going through a name change at the minute. We had just received the physical tickets today and I had asked if I could open them as I did buy them and wanted to check if all was okay, he's gone in a huff really and had said it's not fair and it is his mail to open as it is addressed to him. I know this is silly but I have spent over £300 on 2 concerts and 2 live events and it seems he is really just being ungrateful with them all at the moment. Of course I'm not expecting a thank you but I definitely did not expect this reaction to me asking if I can open the letter with the tickets.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
MiddleagedBeachbum · 12/07/2024 15:55

Wow yes he’s being a jerk - good to see how he behaves with this slight power of you.
Personally I’d be reconsidering taking him, and take someone else instead if that’s his attitude!

ManchesterLu · 12/07/2024 15:57

This is batshit. If you knew that's what the post was, why the heck couldn't you open it!

cupcaske123 · 12/07/2024 15:57

My advice would be to wait for him to open the envelopes then check all is ok.

LividLoved · 12/07/2024 15:58

What is he trying to hide?

Not a normal reaction from him.

Bluebirdover · 12/07/2024 15:58

He's being crazy!!

Wishimaywishimight · 12/07/2024 15:58

He sounds like a child with his "it's not fair"!

Also, why on earth don't you expect a "thank you"? I would be extremely appreciative if someone treated me to 2 concerts / events.

Tell him to stop being a complete pain in the arse and remember who paid for the tickets!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 12/07/2024 16:03

I don’t think you should open another person’s mail.

Different if you get permission. He’s not comfortable with it, you don’t do it.

I wouldn’t like someone opening my post.

uhOhOP · 12/07/2024 16:06

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 12/07/2024 16:03

I don’t think you should open another person’s mail.

Different if you get permission. He’s not comfortable with it, you don’t do it.

I wouldn’t like someone opening my post.

The envelope is addressed to him but the contents are for OP. But yeah, as said above, it's good for you, OP, that you see how he is with you when he has the tiniest bit of... Well, can it even be called "power"?

StrawberryWater · 12/07/2024 16:10

Even though you paid and organised it all he wants control over the tickets and I bet he has no plans to even take you along with him. He'll open that envelope when you're not around (making convenient excuses not to do it in front of you) and then he'll refuse to show you the tickets and then he'll take someone else.

foothandmouth · 12/07/2024 16:11

Honestly seems a silly thing to argue about.

AuschwitzHistorian · 12/07/2024 16:13

StrawberryWater · 12/07/2024 16:10

Even though you paid and organised it all he wants control over the tickets and I bet he has no plans to even take you along with him. He'll open that envelope when you're not around (making convenient excuses not to do it in front of you) and then he'll refuse to show you the tickets and then he'll take someone else.

WTF have I just read.

ginasevern · 12/07/2024 16:14

He's either trying to prove some kind of point to you (maybe something to do with a previous row) or he's nervous about what else might be in the post. Is he like this usually? Maybe he's hiding debt or something? If the "ticket envelope" is clearly marked however I think it's most likely my first suggestion.

MounjaroUser · 12/07/2024 16:29

Why on earth aren't you expecting thanks? He doesn't sound very nice, OP.

Agapornis · 12/07/2024 16:29

If your name change is to his, I'd reconsider.

Bluebirdover · 12/07/2024 21:58

StrawberryWater · 12/07/2024 16:10

Even though you paid and organised it all he wants control over the tickets and I bet he has no plans to even take you along with him. He'll open that envelope when you're not around (making convenient excuses not to do it in front of you) and then he'll refuse to show you the tickets and then he'll take someone else.

Now that's some kind of over active imagination!

Sunnydiary · 12/07/2024 22:02

I’m not sure I understand this tbh.

Are you saying he’s so thick, he wouldn’t notice if the tickets were wrong? How likely is that anyway? If they are for him why can’t he open the envelope?

You are coming across like his mum rather than his partner.

OhcantthInkofaname · 12/07/2024 22:05

WTF?

PerfectTravelTote · 12/07/2024 22:08

"Of course I'm not expecting a thank you"

Why not?

TapToSkip · 12/07/2024 22:09

Trying to decide if I’m impressed that you asked him for permission (even if it resulted in an answer you didn’t want), or if I’m a dickhead because I’d just have opened them without checking 🤔

AmelieTaylor · 12/07/2024 22:16

TapToSkip · 12/07/2024 22:09

Trying to decide if I’m impressed that you asked him for permission (even if it resulted in an answer you didn’t want), or if I’m a dickhead because I’d just have opened them without checking 🤔

@TapToSkip

id have just opened them too!!

SareBear87 · 12/07/2024 22:18

Me three, and DH wouldn't have batted an eyelid!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 12/07/2024 22:22

Don't address them to him?

It is his mail and he can tell you not to open it

Fintoo · 12/07/2024 22:27

Why do you need to open the envelope in order to check the tickets? Can’t you check them after he’s opened it?

Soonenough · 12/07/2024 22:28

He is being pathetic.

billyt · 12/07/2024 22:31

What a fool he is.

My wife and I opened any mail that came. Nothing to hide so why not?

Any thing I wanted to surprise her with, I 'd get sent to one of my daughters.

Some people.