To think that your husband gets up in the night

[JennDi]

As the title says.

Interested to see how many husbands get up if their baby / child wakes up during the night (once they are older than two months)

YANBU - my husbands shares the nights and gets up regularly / or at least some of the time

YABU - my husband doesn’t do any of the night waking

My husband used to stay up late till about 1am in the newborn phase, while I got an early night. Then I did the night wakings and early mornings.

By 2 months my babies both slept through the night anyway so this worked for us for the short term.

Absolutely he does. Our night shifts have looked different depending on our work pressures and parenting pressures over the years, but we are absolutely both involved in a way we both think is fair.

What's the purpose of a thread like this apart from to judge how people parent and potentially make some people feel awful (or defensive) for no good reason?

If BF was not working or needed DH would get up. If it was me he would do 90% of the early mornings.

He didn't as he didn't have tits. The fucker

DH did all night time care. In the early days when breastfeeding he would hand DD to me to feed and then take her back, change her and put her in her cot. Once she went on formula he did the night feeds too.

He did every Friday night so I could sleep in Saturday morning. If he wanted to go out on Friday night then he did Saturday night instead.

I was a SAHM so I think that this was fine.

Eh?
Your question needs context as without it it's pointless.
Breastfeeding?
Work situations?
Job situations?

@whichmag if someone isn't happy then they're not happy - what a bunch of strangers do (or claim to do) is irrelevant 🤷‍♀️

Mine has.

I was breastfeeding and off work, so did most of the wakes. If DS was being a gremlin and just refusing to sleep rather than needing feeding etc DH would help and definitely at weekends. We also had a system where I would go to bed about nine, DH would give an expressed bottle about eleven, and do between 6:30 and 8:30 when he left for work although I'd often be awake then but was very handy when it'd been a bad night

Two months wasn't the cut off for us as I breastfed longer than that. But once they stopped breastfeeding at night, DH did (still does) all the night wakings.

Overall I'd say we're pretty even with housework and parenting. This is just one area where he does more.

My partner would always take over after 4.30am, so I could sleep until 9am every morning. He would leave for work at 9am. It worked well as I would generally deal with the baby around 11pm and 3am, then later only one wake up around 1am. He's naturally an early riser, while I'm a night owl, so it was the best situation for both of us.

I've never understood those whose partners would get up and do the nappy while the mother breastfed. At least one of you should be getting some sleep!

@whichmag if so, I doubt she'll get very far

We both got up once past breastfeeding stage.

We both have what MN would contemptuously call ‘big jobs’. Nobody gets a free pass on our responsibilities as parents - which includes both providing direct care and paying for our children.

We both resuscitate people for a living. The vast majority of people who do jobs like this aren’t getting a full eight hours every night.

I did every night initially as bf and it was easier. In the many years since I stopped bf dh has always been the one to get up. I need more sleep so it makes sense.

I don’t under couples who are happy for their partner to never chip in with some nights. Maybe they just have better sleepers.

DH usually does the settles if baby wakes before bedtime, the toddler settles over night as they are rare but obviously sometimes happen and then takes the baby as we are in a 5am phase. On a bad night with lots of settles I will pass the baby to have and see if he can settle baby faster.

I did all the feeds as bf. With DC1 DH would take over if he wouldn't resettle after a feed and used to take him on weekends from about 5 if he was awake then so I could get more sleep.

With DC2 he was up every night with DC1 still who had decided to stop sleeping and I was again feeding DC2.

So yes, he did his fair share always.

Never. But then he was working every day, or physically away from home, so it was fair. I was not working so fine. I could rest during the day.

@Clma I've never understood those whose partners would get up and do the nappy while the mother breastfed. At least one of you should be getting some sleep!

Can’t say I particularly agree with this because it’s not “at least one” it’s always the same person getting the sleep and it’s not always sustainable to catch up in the day.
For probably the first 6-8 weeks DH did all the overnight nappies and although the baby usually just went straight down at that stage if there were ever fussier times he did all the settles after I had done the feedings. It was an element of camaraderie, in it together plus imo unless the dad has some direct experience of what it is like to have regular frequent wakes due to a baby then they don’t really get it and they aren’t as on it with what they can do to help ease that during the day/morning/ evening.

I didn't know which to tick as I didn't do them all but I did a lot more than him, which doesn't fit with either of your choices. I was breastfeeding and a SAHM at the time.