To think that your husband gets up in the night

[JennDi]

As the title says.

Interested to see how many husbands get up if their baby / child wakes up during the night (once they are older than two months)

YANBU - my husbands shares the nights and gets up regularly / or at least some of the time

YABU - my husband doesn’t do any of the night waking

I'm generally in charge of night wakings but if the toddler wakes him then he will go, and if both kids wake then I often fetch him to help as one is still breastfeeding.

He's probably up once a week with me x

I mean people have all sorts of set ups, some
cots are at the end of the bed, some babies have moved to their other room, some don’t like to feed in bed etc but I think the main thing is when people talk about “getting up to feed the baby” they just mean waking up.

Same here

Mine were bf so after paternity leave (when dh would wake up with me just for moral support/tea making in the early days) all night waking were on me (x3 dc).

A handful of times I'd give him a nudge if I needed help (mid nappy change, toddler wakes crying in next room etc) and he'd always be straight up.

At the start we would both get up equally - I was breastfeeding, DH would do the nappy then I would feed. Our baby then had a horrible experience with reflux for months on end and could only sleep when held, so we'd split the night into shifts. I would get the longer sleep.

Now baby mostly sleeps through the night, but when he does wake, it's DH that'll soothe and settle. This is all with him working full time. He's better than me on little sleep and just wants me to get a good rest. Baby monitor lives on his side of the bed and always has. I love him so much for it.

Same, the bastard!

I did most of them but that’s what I preferred – DH did early mornings instead.

@TomatoSandwiches ofcourse I don't think it's "piss easy" I'm a single parent to an autistic child, I know exactly how hard it it so do it yourself

However, if you are at home then there is time to rest in the day and if it's a day you know you did not get enough sleep then you can adjust your activities to your energy levels.

You cannot compare being SAHP and the need to sleep to a person who is driving or has a risky job which is the scenario I put forward (not knowing what the DH does) there is more to be taken into consideration than just a tit for tat who got more sleep.

This, in my opinion would apply to whatever sex the parent is and when both parents are working. Whoever drives the furthest on the fastest roads or has a job that puts themselves or others at risk needs to prioritise sleep in a sensible way and take up the slack at othertimes.

If OPs husband does an office or shop floor retail job 15 minutes down the road then clearly that job needs less sleep and therefore a fairer split of the night shift than if he drives heavy machinery, commutes for an hour on a 70 mph road or is a surgeon!

Perhaps there would be far fewer RTCs or work placed accidents if people stopped driving whilst tired.

I'm breastfeeding so I obviously have to get up with baby but my partner always gets up if ds4 wakes. Sometimes if I'm really exhausted he'll pass baby to me and put him back in his cot after he's fed🤣 he's a great dad and partner.

Breast feeding is on me. All other wake ups from older children have been shared. Tbh at the minute he does all the others (bed wetting, bad dreams or our autistic son waking early and needing reminding to be quiet) as I’m still doing night feeds with the 9 month old.

Tell him that supposedly Tony Blair did ALL the night wakings with their youngest, that'll shut your partner up. though better not to mention it may also have affected the quality of his decision making on Iraq.

DH is a light sleeper, so he often woke up anyway when I was breastfeeding. I'd usually feed then crash out and he'd change and settle the baby.

DS was an excellent sleeper though, so much so we had to wake him up in the night to feed. He's 5 now and we have to wake him up for school every morning like he's a grumpy teenager. DD (1) is a less good sleeper, but DH probably gets up with her more than I do. She's a Daddy's girl and he cannot resist the wails of DAAADAAAAA in the middle of the night.

That's what I did while they were in with us until 6mo but once they were out of our bedroom then it was a case of getting up. Swings and roundabouts though - they definitely slept a lot better in their own room as we weren't disturbing them, and I slept a lot better as they weren't snuffling around and disturbing me!

When they were babies, I did the nights because I was breastffeding and he worked full time. He would get up with them in the morning which made it feel equal.
Now they are all in infant school, we both work and any night waking to sort them out is equal.
Unless they have thrown up, in which case they know to wake me up because he will will vomit at the sight of vomit and thats not helpful for anyone.

My dh rarely got up, but I was bf for the first few months then dd slept through from 11-7 so no need. He did usually give the last night feed (bottle) around 11pm. He absolutely did and would've got up if dd was having a really bad night or if she was unwell he was always on clean up duty. He's naturally an early riser so I'd often feed and go back to bed and he'd take baby.

I was a breast feeding co sleeper so at that stage, no, after that - toddlers etc, yes we shared it

Mine would get up, change the diaper, then bring me the baby to breastfeed. After feeding he would burp the baby and then return him/her (we had both) to the crib. He did this every time for both babies.

I breastfed so of course it was me. Our kids were very good sleepers so it was very predictable if they ever woke up it was for a feed.

We did this exactly. We pumped and combo fed. Worked amazing and I always recommend it to everyone. This and sleeping in seperate rooms. No point in everyone being awake.

I didn't breastfeed either of mine, so we always shared the night feeds. And the care as they got older. They're grown up now.

When DD was a baby DH got up at every waking, he didn't want to sleep through even though I was breastfeeding so would often go to get me snacks or drinks whilst I was feeding.

Now she's 4 and if she wakes he still gets up, she will usually always shout for him as she knows he is generally more chipper through the night whereas I'm a zombie 😂