Is this awful

[Nameaftermyheart]

Is it okay to be judgmental about another woman’s physical flaws when she’s laughing along with misogynistic bullies and making her own nasty comments about you.

Well it’s either that or take the high road knowing she’s just an arsehole?

if you’ve got a fast enough and funny/acidic comeback then I would do!

Not really. Doesn't tit for tat make you just as bad? Can't you get out of the situation and keep away from them?

Just to re-iterate she’s a next door neighbour and i haven’t said anything personal to her face, but I’ve loudly complained in my garden/home (to my family) She’s also threatened to kick my head in with her husband after wrongly accused me of calling the RSPCA on them.

This has been going on for years it goes quiet for a bit then amps up after they hear me taking offence to hearing them calling me derogatory names.

They are do as I say not as I do of kind of people.

The husband only bully’s women and she’s right behind him.

Just to re-iterate she’s a next door neighbour and i haven’t said anything personal to her face, but I’ve loudly complained in my garden/home (to my family)

This makes you come across (to them anyway) as a passive-aggressive wet lettuce to be honest.

I don't blame you for not wanting to confront them, but if you don't, then don't.

The 'loudly complaining' is likely to cause more trouble than it's worth.

Do you really think it's a good idea to make comments on a person's physical flaws after they've threatened to kick your head in?

I would approach it from a few angles. I'd start taking notes of all threats, comments etc as it sounds like harassment. I'd start looking for somewhere else to live - if it's been going on for years, it's not going to get better.

I'd keep away from them. I wouldn't make any loud complaints.

Personally I’d move to a better neighbourhood, sounds grim.

I’m not really sure I understand, so you slag off her appearance loudly to your partner, and what kids, but not to her face?

no that’s not ok. It’s weird. Why focus on her appearance. That’s 12 year old mean girl territory.

No it’s only me and my adult child so they think I’m a soft touch. I don’t slag off her appearance I just say something like ‘how can they bully anyone for their looks when they aren’t exactly supermodels’ in-fact in all honesty they’re worse looking.

I don’t live in a bad neighbourhood and apart from the one face to face incident it’s all passive aggressive on their part, like when I walk past their window or I’m in the garden. We also live and sleep in the back of the house and their windows and back doors are always open as-well as constant barking and fighting from their dogs.

Oh and don’t forget the constant weed flume wafting into my house and police raids.

Her adult son and nephew also make comments so it is so I’m outnumbered.
I doubt they’d be doing this if I had a man living with me.

Also when my child’s father visits the husband tries to act all pally with him and fawns so I know he’s a misogynist.

Stop making comments OP. They sound rough as badgers.

With people like this you're only feeding the troll. You'll get the backlash, not get one up on them. I'd be recording everything they say and do, and be quiet as a mouse and non responsive. Anything more then you're just lowering yourself to their level of tit for tat. But with those recordings you can report them to higher authorities and that's what I'd be going for.

Also best to keep in mind that you can't argue with stupid but you can use the legal route against them as they are digging their own graves that way

They sound awful but honestly, just stop making comments. You're giving them ammunition. Ignore them, they'll get bored of not having a reaction.

It sounds as though you are loudly complaining in your garden because you want them to hear you. If you like the drama then by all means carry on.

The more you react, the more they'll do it. Stop giving them any reaction at all and ignore them. They must have pretty sad lives if they've got time to be behaving like nasty children!

Just to re-iterate she’s a next door neighbour

Did I miss the original iteration of this detail?

OP, as pps advise, keep your side of the street clean.

Don't let them hear you say anything about them.

Keep records to help you if things escalate.

Take the moral high ground and don't step down.

They’re rough as badgers arses, behave like scumbags threatening to kick your head in and pollute the place with their weed fumes? There are way nicer situations to live in OP. Don't underestimate the daily mental effect of that shit on you and your son. I’d be off.

Yes I used the wrong word. I was just adding some context.

Yes you’re right, sometimes it feels like I’m living in shared accommodation with them not a day goes by when I can’t hear them talking or arguing.

I constantly have a nervous tummy and suffer with body dysmorphia so I take the nasty comments to heart.

It's not ok don't stoop to their level.

Sounds awful I would move

Can you leave? I bet your symptoms would clear right up if your living situ was more peaceful. It’s also risky continuing to be around them.

Not at the moment no it would be too expensive. Yes I fully agree a move would help my mental health no end.

Then spend a lot of time planning on getting out of there asap. That is your best move. Don’t get into argy bargy with them

Do you not think it’s weird that she’s laughing loudly when I go in my garden or walk past their living room. Or when she laughs when her son or husband calls me a dog and a boot and she says ‘I know she is’

Bear in mind i didn’t start any of this and its human nature to look at a person critically when they are commenting on you.