TRIGGER WARNING - Guy murders girlfriend - everyone says what a great guy he was!

[HerNameWasLauren]

AIBU to find the outpouring of grief and sympathy about the death of Daniel Duffield, just because he was on a TV documentary, sick and shocking!

He murdered his girlfriend before killing himself - she was just 22. There is often no mention of her in the sympathy posts.

Even worse, some of Duffield’s family have allegedly publicly blamed Lauren for her own murder by saying she drove him to it!

How twisted can you be? ! I don’t even think they were even in a relationship for that long!

I cannot imagine what Lauren’s family have been going through seeing all posts about what a great guy Duffield was. Some of the SM posts excusing it due to his alleged MH issues have really disturbed me. I have a DD the same age and would just go absolutely insane if her murderer was given the same sympathy as Duffield has been.

Why are the police not saying he murdered her? They have stated her death is being treated as murder and they are not looking for anyone else! Apparently locally there are allegations that he slit her throat. Also allegations that there were DV allegations relating to a previous girlfriend and Lauren.

AIBU? It seems to be about protecting him with Lauren as an afterthought. Just look at the headline for example.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cyx5r2g0klro.amp

I've read a couple of articles but couldn't see anything about her family blaming her.

It's common to see headlines about what a great guy the perpetrator was. You only see it in DV crimes, never other crimes like stranger assault or murder.

In my opinion there's always a whiff of she drove him to it. Often an excuse used in courts until recently.

Absolutely awful, I hadn’t realised he had killed her

It’s all extremely odd to be honest. Initially it was said to be a double murder but the police instantly referred themselves to watchdogs (presumably because there had been disturbance before and they missed opportunities to prevent?). Of course with that information it would be sympathies for both people. It’s still not confirmed if it was a murder/suicide though? Is it because the police and media are trying to downplay another poor woman being a victim of male violence?

I imagine they are not saying he did it because its' not their job to make that determination.

I don’t see anything in that article saying he was great or blaming her. Maybe there are different sources you can share?

Its an awful case but the BBC article seems to state who he was, why the reader might recognise him, say kind things about the victim and set out how the investigation is being treated.

It would be terrible reporting in the way you describe and rightly outrageous. I just don’t see that in the particular article linked.

The purpose of an inquest is to determine how a person died, so if the conclusion is suicide, they will be more likely to say he is the perpetrator. If it’s unlawful killing (by a third party) then that changes the picture. But as this is only the opening of the inquest, they haven’t established that yet.

The initial reports were very sympathetic to both of them so I couldn’t work out if it was a murder/suicide as you would usually assume. The reporting was very odd I thought. Maybe because the man was ‘famous.’

Whilst it is completely different, my ex boyfriend from uni, after we split up, started stalking me. It was a terrible time. Everyone I knew would say ‘he’s such a great guy.’ They didn’t know about the stalking, manipulation or aggression. I couldn’t tell people as I felt I wouldn’t be believed. I have such sympathy with these women. They are the ones who see all the true sides to these men.

They’re all lovely, until they aren’t.

Staffordshire Police are treating her death as a murder. They recently put up a post on their facebook page with a tribute from her family. Some of the comments underneath mention how disgusted her family must be seeing comments on other sites praising Daniel. Might be why the police decided to upload a post just for her.

People who knew him probably knew him as a great guy. They were probably extremely shocked to find out what he allegedly did. I'm only saying "allegedly" because there needs to be an inquest to establish the facts, because up to now, we don't know

Atrocious. Is there anything we can do to ask for the artcle to be changed to focus on the young womans life rather than the murderers?

I think it's partly because comments were made before it was announced that they were only treating her death as murder (when it was thought to be a double murder), those comments are now out there and can be reused by the media. It's also people trying to rationalise how they knew him with this event, and maybe those things don't match - different people's experiences of one person can be very different.

But it must be very hard for her family and friends as the case has developed.

I posted that initial article as it clearly stated what was the general consensus from the beginning. That Lauren was the victim.

This below about his colleagues paying tribute was terrible seeing as his colleagues would have been responding to the incident and it would have been obvious early on that Duffield killed himself (he posted a suicide note to IG!) and Lauren’s injuries would have been known.

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/black-country/west-midlands-ambulance-service-pay-29432485?intsource=ampcontinuereading&intmedium=amp&intcampaign=continuereadingbutton#amp-readmore-target

Duffield’s sister posted a vile Facebook post where she said Lauren ‘pushed him over the edge’ and his apparent Uncle also posted that her murder was her fault. Absolutely disgusting and disturbing.

The way it was initially reported I wondered whether it was a suicide pact. There was that initial reaction we all have about the death of a couple that I questioned because of the reporting- 'oh, so something else then'.

But no.

Taken from one ITV news report,
"The body of Daniel Duffield, 24, was found alongside Lauren Evans, 22, at a house on Alpine Drive in Hednesford on June 25th.
Staffordshire Police is treating Lauren's death as a murder, and the force isn't looking for any other party in connection with her death".

They are really downplaying him being a murderer. The Police have referred themselves because it is looking like they under-reacted to a report of DV, days previously. On top of the Hunt murders today, it shows how at risk we still are as women.

This. They often present as Mr Nice Guy.

Duffield’s sister posted a vile Facebook post where she said Lauren ‘pushed him over the edge’ and his apparent Uncle also posted that her murder was her fault. Absolutely disgusting and disturbing.

If this is true, they are obviously a very dysfunctional family.

Yes as pp have said, it looks like previous reports of DV have been made and the police didn't protect her.

Yes, as PP have said, it looks like previous reports of DV have been made and the police didn't protect her

Why am I not surprised.

Oh I can believe it's true.

Unfortunately a relative of mine died in the exact same circumstances and his family were adamant it was a suicide pact/her fault. Even after the inquest made it clear what had happened they refused to admit their son/brother was a murderer.

He’s a murdering scumbag. She was from my area and she was told numerous times to leave him as he brought her down with his mental health. He was also known to stalk his ex . His family make me absolutely sick. To blame an angel Lauren because they have a murderer in the family is shameful. Everyone knows the truth , she was innocent and should have been protected by police. They let her down they all have .

Had similar in my family too, so can unfortunately entirely believe it.

Allegedly there was more than one report of DV, involving an ex girlfriend as well.

Makes you wonder if because he was a ‘hero’ paramedic who’d been on TV, it wasn’t taken seriously.

Most of the time, murder/suicides are confirmed early on, before an inquest, so it odd that this one wasn’t and Duffield has still not been named officially as the perpetrator.

https://amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/11/deaths-greenock-alison-neil-mclaughlin-couple-murder-suicide

https://metro.co.uk/2024/04/08/mum-of-6-found-dead-ex-husband-coventry-murder-suicide-20606115/amp/

www.lbc.co.uk/news/wife-killed-murder-suicide-grimsby/

I think also he gets this consideration because he was white. If it was a black man there would be less victim blaming.

She’d just qualified as a Mental Health nurse. I wonder if she thought she could help him? Poor, poor girl.

I can’t fathom the mentality of posting shit on SM about a young woman your brother/family member had horrifically murdered.

I hope her family speak out.