TRIGGER WARNING - Guy murders girlfriend - everyone says what a great guy he was!

[HerNameWasLauren]

AIBU to find the outpouring of grief and sympathy about the death of Daniel Duffield, just because he was on a TV documentary, sick and shocking!

He murdered his girlfriend before killing himself - she was just 22. There is often no mention of her in the sympathy posts.

Even worse, some of Duffield’s family have allegedly publicly blamed Lauren for her own murder by saying she drove him to it!

How twisted can you be? ! I don’t even think they were even in a relationship for that long!

I cannot imagine what Lauren’s family have been going through seeing all posts about what a great guy Duffield was. Some of the SM posts excusing it due to his alleged MH issues have really disturbed me. I have a DD the same age and would just go absolutely insane if her murderer was given the same sympathy as Duffield has been.

Why are the police not saying he murdered her? They have stated her death is being treated as murder and they are not looking for anyone else! Apparently locally there are allegations that he slit her throat. Also allegations that there were DV allegations relating to a previous girlfriend and Lauren.

AIBU? It seems to be about protecting him with Lauren as an afterthought. Just look at the headline for example.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cyx5r2g0klro.amp

How awful. I agree that initially it seemed like a sucidie pact or something. Reporting very sympathetic to him initially. A few comments on the new post are focusing on her and her family rather than his. Sad for them but he was a murderer not the ‘nicest guy/ the best’ etc.

Maybe that's why the Police are not revealing much else. Plus if this was the case, they would be referred to the IPCC

A big coincidence this is posted today with the capture of Kyle Clifford. Exactly the same issue.

It’s never a suicide pact.

They are not driven to it by jealousy because she was having an affair

It is never a sex game gone wrong.

Every journalist needs to read Control by Jame Monkton-Smith

Not a coincidence on my part. Not sure what you’re implying? Something just popped up on my SM feed earlier which was a screenshot of the Facebook post Duffield’s sister allegedly posted then removed. It was sickening. I hadn’t seen the news about the despicable murder of those 3 poor women who would have seen the others being killed before the last one was.

It’s not exactly the same issue from what I’ve seen in the press, Clifford had not committed suicide at the scene. There is no outpouring of sympathy for him. He was found injured but we can only hope the evil bastard dies in pain from his wounds so his victims family don’t have to think about him still being able to breathe in prison and potentially being let out at some point.

Calm down, I literally just meant it’s a coincidence – not sarcasm. I am referring to the significant criticism online that 1) most news outlets are reporting that those that knew him all say what a great guy he is and 2) that this is a more common narrative when the perpetrator is white.

As a side note, I think most victims and relatives of prefer their attackers come to justice rather than die senselessly beforehand.

His family loved him and can't bring themselves to believe that not only is he dead but that he was an abuser as well. How often do you see people who visit family in prison even when found guilty of the most horrible offenses. It's so much easier for his family to believe he was a victim then see him as he really was because then they'd have to admit they're guilty too, if they'd intervened sooner it might never have come to this

JFC, just read the gushing posts about him on Stoke On Trent Live!! Making me feel actually sick, what on earth are those people thinking?

I don't get why if you are feeling suicidal you have to take others with you. Just end your own life instead.

Because in many cases it's a case of 'if I can't have you, no one else can't.
It's the last bit of control a man person has over you.

Urgh ....'no one else can. Sorry can't edit on the app

I guess they kill themselves after the murder as they don't want to face the repercussions

It's simply awful, can't imagine how they are feeling.

That is very true!

Sad how she barely features in the pictures shared.

That article was written when they were first found. Things have come to light since.

Discussing things that have 'allegedly' been said helps no one.

We need to let the investigation take place and then we will know.

It's about control.
And being 'together' forever.

I was scrolling tiktok earlier and a video of his came up on fyp. It was something along the lines of doing nice things for my girlfriend because she has had a long day at work and he showed himself buying her flowers and chocolates etc. I didn't realise it was him until I read the comments which were critical of him. Lauren featured in some of his videos and she seemed like a lovely sparkly girl and he took that away.

He was clearly an awful person( to put it mildly) and I can't pretend to understand why his family wouldn't just say nothing at all. We have an awful person in my extended family and I liked him prior to finding out what he did but once I found out I never spoke to him again and refer to him as the scum that he is.

Yes. You have to really look at the article to see any mention that she was murdered, it's disgusting. The headlines saying young couple found dead, tradegy as young couple are found dead, etc. no he killed her, in cold blood and then killed himself. The tragedy is her murder and it is utterly glossed over. The reporting has been bloody disgusting

100% agree.

It was blatantly obvious from the start what the outcome was, just like today. Still posters are determined to downplay it with "oh, we just don't know".

Yes, we do, we always do.

Oh and it isn't just journalists who need to read the book everyone does.

If reading isn't your thing she took part in a podcast, a warning though it is absolutely harrowing.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/2024/bbc-radio-ulster-sounds-assume-nothing-femicide-eight-steps-to-stop-a-murder

💯 so true

I'm sure I read in reports that Kyle was a lovely guy, who helped Grannies across the road or something like that.

Sorry, for not being clear, that is apparently what neighbours were saying this morning.

I saw the post on Facebook from his sister and it was utterly disgusting. She accused Lauren of mentally abusing him, pushing him until he snapped and stealing a large amount of his money. She should have just come out and said it was her own fault because that’s what she was saying in a round about way.

I spoke to DH about it at the time, and said if it had been a relative of mine who’d killed someone, I’d delete all social media and not say a word. He’s a piece of shit. She absolutely did not deserve to die. I feel so dreadfully sorry for her family and friends. His family and friends need to stop the hero worshiping because he was anything but.

The tribute from his colleagues was published two days after they were found dead. He had posted a suicide note on IG which prompted the concern for welfare visit to the address. I find it hard to believe that if Lauren had injuries that caused her death it wouldn’t have been clear two days later what had happened, especially as colleagues of his would have been involved with the incident. The police referred themselves to the IOPC the same day due to previous contact which seems to be widely known to be DV related.

It was in disgusting bad taste that tribute to someone who murdered a young woman was published and it should be withdrawn.

I note Lauren’s cause of death has still not been released over two weeks later which is unusual as there’s no upcoming criminal case for the perpetrator and in murder/suicide cases it’s normally released after post mortem. I hope this is on her family’s wishes not to further protect his memory.