TRIGGER WARNING - Guy murders girlfriend - everyone says what a great guy he was!

[HerNameWasLauren]

AIBU to find the outpouring of grief and sympathy about the death of Daniel Duffield, just because he was on a TV documentary, sick and shocking!

He murdered his girlfriend before killing himself - she was just 22. There is often no mention of her in the sympathy posts.

Even worse, some of Duffield’s family have allegedly publicly blamed Lauren for her own murder by saying she drove him to it!

How twisted can you be? ! I don’t even think they were even in a relationship for that long!

I cannot imagine what Lauren’s family have been going through seeing all posts about what a great guy Duffield was. Some of the SM posts excusing it due to his alleged MH issues have really disturbed me. I have a DD the same age and would just go absolutely insane if her murderer was given the same sympathy as Duffield has been.

Why are the police not saying he murdered her? They have stated her death is being treated as murder and they are not looking for anyone else! Apparently locally there are allegations that he slit her throat. Also allegations that there were DV allegations relating to a previous girlfriend and Lauren.

AIBU? It seems to be about protecting him with Lauren as an afterthought. Just look at the headline for example.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cyx5r2g0klro.amp

I'm so glad you posted this. When the news broke and it said double murder, I thought it was odd that there was almost no mention of Lauren, it was all about him.

Then they mentioned his MH issues, and I'll be honest, the first thing that came into my head was "I wonder if he struggled mentally with being gay, and killed her". Now, I don't know the bloke, but all the video footage of him, he was incredibly camp, so I remember being shocked when it said Lauren was his girlfriend. Anyway, those were just my thoughts.

It looks like, although it hasn't been declared, that yes, he abused and murdered her, what an utter scumbag.

The only saving grace is that Lauren is now free from his abuse, but an absolute tragedy that she lost her life. Poor girl. I really feel for her family.

My nieces neighbour threatened to punch her on camera and he has a gang including two women who always say "how nice he is" guy has been harassing her, she's old enough to the his GD
People are delusional and stupid, it's 24 and people STILL don't know about wolves in sheep clothing

Not really a coincidence when the number of these murders that goes on - men killing their former or current partners.
There's just too many to report every single one.

Reading the bbc article you have to really read it carefully to put the pieces together that he was the killer.
Why doesn't the article say 'Suspected murdered kills former gf and then kills himself' then clarify that this is what the evidence seems to point to in that the police have already accepted this as the case?

You are taking my one comment far too literally. I just found the timing coincidental considering the heavy criticism that outpoured yesterday on SM for the Bushey situation. It's not that deep.

Oh here we go, it's the MN parallel legal system.

It is not the police's job to conclude what/how it happened. That is for the coroner to conclude. Yes, the coroner - you know, someone qualified to do this - following their full access to the evidence and consideration of all the facts.

None of you, unless you were there, have a clue what happened, and why.

Oh, and less of the casually homophobic theories, too, please.

www.policeconduct.gov.uk/news/iopc-investigating-police-contact-daniel-duffield-prior-his-death

The police are conducting a separate murder investigation into the death of Ms Evans. They are not looking for anyone else in relation to this. So no, we don't have a mere 'clue', we actually have confirmation that Lauren was murdered.

I would imagine Duffield's colleagues have deleted their gushing tributes to him.

Telling people what to post isn't your place either. You don't get to dictate what other posters comment upon. If you have an issue with any post, you report it.

RIP Lauren. Thoughts and prayers with her loved ones.

@SloaneStreetVandal The police are conducting a separate murder investigation into the death of Ms Evans.

No, they are not. The IOPC are investigating whether correct procedures were followed which might have prevented the deaths from occuring.

@SloaneStreetVandal So no, we don't have a mere 'clue', we actually have confirmation that Lauren was murdered.

No, you don't.

@SloaneStreetVandal Telling people what to post isn't your place either. You don't get to dictate what other posters comment upon.

Welcome to MN. I haven't told anyone what they should or shouldn't post, BTW.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3g60zknldno.amp

Staffordshire Police said her death is being treated as murder and no other parties are being sought in their investigation.

@HoldingTheDoor Thank you for clarifying the police's position.
@SloaneStreetVandal Thank you, I now see the point you were making.

As dans friend I can confirm his death was announced a day before hers so we all thought he had just committed suicide, it wasn’t till it came out in the news the day after that two bodies were found and being treated as a murder. By this point I had already made a tribute to my friend who I honestly believed was the kindest soul on earth who couldn’t do enough for everyone including me. Reflecting back now you may call it overcompensating for what happened behind close doors. But I was totally oblivious until chats with his ex girlfriend and her friends that he was abusive and controlling. Ofcourse this changes my views on him massively but I have also been mourning the person I thought he was, and who he was to me.
ofcourse it’s so incredibly sad and my heart goes out to both families who have to mourn their loved ones, but ofcourse more so Lauren’s family as she was taken in the cruelest way.
Until you’ve been in the situation I don’t think people can comment on how people deal with grief. You all have your opinions on the monster he is which is totally acceptable and reasonable. But if your son murdered someone maybe you would find excuses as a coping mechanism? Not saying it’s okay but you just can’t comment on it.
it was not Lauren’s fault at all and victim blaming is never okay.
but the truth is Dan WAS the “nicest person on earth” to his friends, whether that was who he TRULY was is a whole different story and only Lauren and others that have been with him have seen that true person. And that person WAS controlling and abusive and obsessive.
So while I struggle to wrap my head around what he’s done he has done it and I don’t sympathise with any excuse because there is no excuse to end someone’s life.
Butnplease don’t judge people on their reaction to a situation you know nothing about. Only bits and pieces from what the media have fed you.

Thank you for sharing incognito it must be an absolute mix of emotions that everyone is feeling right now.

Prof. Jane Mockton-smith acknowledges that these men are often not horrible all the time and are very good at switching between personas. They have to be nice to get into relationships in the first place.

Take care as you all come to the terms with the event and the aftermath.