Does abortion hurt?

[Rycbar]

My husband and I were discussing this the other day and I thought I’d bring it here as we may get actual answers.

I want to preface this by saying I am prochoice and not wanting to discuss the morals of abortion, just the mechanics.

I just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks pregnant. Aside from being absolutely devastated, it was the most painful and traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. My body did this naturally and I didn’t need any intervention however because my miscarriage was a missed one, we knew baby had died before it started and I’d read up on the options (medical or surgery).

From what I understand, the options to move a miscarriage along or help if our bodies haven’t done it completely on their own is the exact same process as an abortion. I understand surgery wouldn’t be painful as apparently it isn’t but by all accounts the medical management is worse than the natural.

it doesn’t make sense to me and the only thing I can think is that the stigma around abortion means that even less people talk about it then miscarriage so it actually is painful - but only people who have one know.

AIBU: it isn’t painful at all.

AINBU: it is painful - people just don’t talk about it because of the stigma.

MMC medical management protocol is the exact same as a medical abortion.

i have experienced both. It’s the same process and i experienced the same level of discomfort.

how much it ‘hurts’ would surely depend on personal pain threshold

42 years ago. Intense period type pains for a couple of days.

Mine was incredibly painful and I thought I was going to faint, was home alone and worried

It depends. On a myriad of things.
how far along, if you usually get cramp. If you’re tired, if you’re upset, if you have support etc

Pain is very subjective. I’ve seen many women terminate pregnancies as well as miscarry it is very individual, but there is usually at least some discomfort.

I’ve had an abortion and a miscarriage but a long time ago (early 2000s) and I would say both were like bad period pains.

Rhis Was pre/ pills though

Yes I guess you’re right on personal pain threshold.

I also noticed a difference between how they’re described on the internet.

Miscarriage is described as possibly being very painful, labour like contractions (which is what I experienced)
Abortion seems to be described as discomfort.

I definitely had labour like contractions, on all fours crying in pain with horrendous bleeding (I became anaemic afterwards)

I've had a natural miscarriage at 12 weeks, a chemical pregnancy at 4 weeks and a surgical miscarriage at 13 weeks.

Natural miscarriage hurt like Labour

Chemical pregnancy was worse than a period but was ok after taking paracetamol and ibuprofen.

Surgical miscarriage was a lot more civilised. Some pain and bleeding afterwards but not much and not as bad as a period.

See I was expecting it to be incredibly painful. Were you expecting the abortion to be?

Were you expecting this? I was expecting that for my miscarriage because of all the information everywhere!! I’m just curious if you’re told it’ll be like that when you have an abortion.

@Rycbar nope. They said I could take codeine but it didn't touch it. More referred to as discomfort and cramps
Like when you have a coil fitted and they say "mild discomfort"

I've had 2 abortions, 15 years apart.
1 surgical, 1 from taking tablets.

Neither were painful. I was pretty early along both times.

The surgical option is not painful at all. I wouldn't put myself through the other kind if I could avoid it. You don't have to suffer.

This shouldn't be in AIBU. Surely you realise pain and medical situations affect people differently.

I do realise that. However it seems to be that with miscarriage the information is very clearly ‘this is probably going to be very painful’ and abortion is ‘this is going to be uncomfortable’ even though they are essentially the exact same thing.
I guess my question is am I unreasonable to think that there is intentional misinformation around abortion - I just hadn’t realised that’s the what I was trying to get across.

Yes I think this is where my confusion lies. The difference in the messaging around them. Miscarriage is going to be very painful - almost like labour, abortion is going to be uncomfortable - but they’re exactly the same.

If I’d had the choice I would have chosen it however it happened naturally before we got that far.

mine was "enforced?" medical.but in hoz.felt like was do poo out front bottom.I vomited.might of weed.went home.

I had surgery. I was under anaesthetic during but I was in a lot of pain afterwards for over a week, so much so I went to the walk in centre in tears wondering if something was wrong. They said "what did you expect". I was 19 and had never been pregnant before.

One medical that didn't work & landed me in hospital very ill. Lots of bleeding & pain. Ended up needing a surgical one even after I'd passed the foetus into the ward toilet. It was horrific

One surgical that was totally unremarkable.

One surgical with no anaesthetic which was incredibly traumatic & painful. They definitely fobbed off how bad that was going to be, just took my money

One natural miscarriage of a second foetus at 12 weeks (remaining foetus went full term & is child 2 of 3) that wasn't as painful or bloody as the first medical abortion but I did know I was losing a baby. Just didn't know there were two in there.

My miscarriage at 12 weeks wasn’t particularly painful ( minor discomfort, like light period pain) and nothing at all like labour pains. Everyone is different but I wasn’t aware that general information is that it is always very painful. Upsetting, yes. Later miscarriage I would certainly expect greater pain.

Friends who had abortions reported cramping equivalent to first day period pains.

I had a surgical abortion (tfmr) at 14 wks. It wasn't painful at all, I had a light general anaesthetic which was just enough to put me under without making me feel groggy (I went home straight after and felt alert and normal). No pain or cramping afterwards, just painless bleeding and no complications (and I conceived again naturally 4 months later). It was just like going to sleep and waking up and it was all over (which is exactly what I wanted).

I paid privately although I would have been entitled to an NHS termination, but the doctor was recommended to me and was available the next day so I booked it.

I have a high pain threshold and have always recovered well from surgeries, births (elcs) and never have painful periods.

I miscarried on the day of my 12 week scan, it was as painful as labour (I've had 2 kids).

I had to have surgical management which is the exact same procedure, just under a different name. I got a womb infection unfortunately which felt like horrendous period pain and flu like symptoms. If I hadn't had that I probably would've been ok afterwards.

Have a friend that was similar to you, she needed help in the middle of the night as she was alone. But know someone else who didn't have any trouble at all

I can’t speak for everyone as times change. I was abused and had an abortion aged 12.
I was put under GE so didn’t feel anything. No pain before or after that I can remember. I just remember the relief mixed with confusion.
Maybe the physical pain memories diminished more than the mental scars.
I would imagine that having to do it on your own at home would be quite traumatic if not painful.