Does abortion hurt?

[Rycbar]

My husband and I were discussing this the other day and I thought I’d bring it here as we may get actual answers.

I want to preface this by saying I am prochoice and not wanting to discuss the morals of abortion, just the mechanics.

I just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks pregnant. Aside from being absolutely devastated, it was the most painful and traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. My body did this naturally and I didn’t need any intervention however because my miscarriage was a missed one, we knew baby had died before it started and I’d read up on the options (medical or surgery).

From what I understand, the options to move a miscarriage along or help if our bodies haven’t done it completely on their own is the exact same process as an abortion. I understand surgery wouldn’t be painful as apparently it isn’t but by all accounts the medical management is worse than the natural.

it doesn’t make sense to me and the only thing I can think is that the stigma around abortion means that even less people talk about it then miscarriage so it actually is painful - but only people who have one know.

AIBU: it isn’t painful at all.

AINBU: it is painful - people just don’t talk about it because of the stigma.

It's odd because pain is so subjective. I had a medical abortion (pre kids) at 8.5 weeks, and it was absolutely horrific pain for a few hours and felt like I was going to die - but as soon as I passed the pregnancy it was just mild cramps for a day or two.

I've also had a natural miscarriage at 14 weeks of twins, and didn't even have a single cramp - was absolutely painfree (but emotionally horrific).

I had one when I was 16, still in school. The abortion took place on a Saturday. On the Friday night my bf and I got a train to Essex. It was march and freezing cold. We slept rough that night as had nowhere to go, no money other than the £500 for the procedure, so hotel wasn’t an option. It was snowing and so cold. We had to get there Friday night to be at the clinic 8:30 on Saturday morning. We lived miles away.

The procedure wasn’t painful, I was put under for it. When I woke up, and later discharged, we then had to get the train home. The pain was excruciating for the whole 2hr train journey. I then had to walk from the train station in my town to my house (about a mile or a little more).

Then at 9am Sunday morning I had to bike a mile to my supermarket cashier job and work until 3pm before biking home.

Monday I had to go to school. Still in agony and bleeding buckets, huge clots.

I can’t believe I went through that in secret to be honest. I feel so sad for young me. Nobody ever knew apart from my boyfriend at the time and the staff at the clinic.

I had an abortion at around 7/8 weeks, I've also had a few early miscarriages. For me, they would just period like pains. Nothing too bad.

Appreciate this is probably far more painful if someone is further along.

I can’t believe I went through that in secret to be honest. I feel so sad for young me. Nobody ever knew apart from my boyfriend at the time and the staff at the clinic.

@AimieDaisy I feel the same about mine. I was 17 and didn't tell anyone other than my boyfriend and he didn't even come with me, so I got a taxi on my own and when I got out the taxi, the driver looked and me and said 'please take care of yourself' and it nearly broke me, I've never forgotten. Also had to get a taxi home on my own after the procedure which I can't believe they allowed given I'd just had a GA.

But to the orginal OP. I had surgical at 11 weeks, I was put under GA for it and afterwards I don't remember being in any pain other than light period pains.

It's so personal, it will differ for everyone. I had a MC naturally at 11 weeks, I did have some cramps but no pain.

I've had neither a miscarriage nor an abortion, but I think people's experiences really vary depending on their own body - just like some women have awful period pains and some women get no period pain at all, I suppose. I know that when my friend sadly miscarried, one of the things that shocked her about it was that she barely felt any physical pain at all. Whereas some women experience horrendous cramping. So my guess is that abortion might vary in the same way.

I had a very early medical abortion years ago. It didn’t hurt at all - no need for pain relief. But I’ve never needed pain relief for periods either.

This was my experience as well as went alone so no one would know and they wouldn't let me have the sedation. The pain was horrific and i remember sobbing while the nurse held my hand. Luckily they were very quick, but i was in pain for days afterwards as i think it probably caused more damage the fact i was so tense while it was happening

I’ve had both. The abortion was earlier than the miscarriage and it was loads, loads worse. The miscarriage at 6w was like a heavy period- but perhaps there wasn’t as much womb lining as it wasn’t viable? I don’t know.

Medical abortion - intense pain, far worse than any period, didn’t know what to do with myself. Also the classic side effects of projectile vomiting x 1 and uncontrollable diarrhoea x 1 (with no notice).

Felt fine next day, then the miscarriage started as my body caught up with what has happened. More pain for days, bled for so long I ended up getting Norethisterone to stop it.

I had a surgically managed miscarriage and remember waking up and crying because of the pain. They hadn’t told me to expect any discomfort so I panicked that it felt painful, and then they were panicking because they thought something was badly wrong. Once they’d asked me more questions and established nothing was badly wrong they were a lot less sympathetic and just gave me some paracetamol. I think it was just strong period pains and the fact that I remembered I had lost the baby when I came around made it all harder to bear. Still glad I went down that route rather than medically managed. I was pregnant again within 3 months happily. I don’t think I had much pain after that first hour, just cramps and then heavy fatigue that took several weeks to lift.

I was in tears after my abortion which was from the pain but also possibly because I didn't actually want the abortion and perhaps that made it feel more painful.

I think every time can be completely different.

I’ve had one child very difficult pregnancy none of the other situations were as bad or as painful, I also needed surgery and was advised to not have any more children.

But I’ve been pregnant nine times. Once was a very very late medical surgical abortion arranged by my go surgery which mentally and emotionally was utterly horrific, I still get very sad about it all these years later. But I had no choice as there was a problem.

Once was an early abortion tablets like very bad period pains. The rest were all miscarriages some early some late. It’s the mental toll that’s the worst pain.

Nobody else even knows about all the pregnancies. They know I cant have any more children since a non relation health emergency in my early 30s so my DP and I couldn’t have a family together and I don’t get any sympathy for that even. I have to listen to all sorts of remarks about childless couples that are beyond hurtful.

My close friend (now ex best friend) knew about the very late abortion as I needed a childminder and has always said really hurtful things to me about it. I’ve tried to explain that it was for medical reasons but she doesn’t listen, after that judgement I have never told anyone else. So for me the mental health side of it has been beyond painful.

That's terrible. I couldn't imagine my daughters going through such a thing and not coming to me for help

That's terrible. I couldn't imagine my daughters going through such a thing and not coming to me for help

My parents wouldn't have been supportive at all. We should have told his parents though, his mum is now my MIL and knows and is gutted looking back that we didn't come to her (she had been through an abortion herself)