Would you be happy with this? Birthday present

[Tiredandflabby1]

Say your live-in partner plans a surprise for your birthday, which is also your gift.
This turns out to be a meal at a lovely restaurant which you rarely eat at as it's quite expensive.
We enjoy the meal, we only ordered a starter to share, a main each and a diet coke each, no dessert.

When the bill came, he asked me if I could pay £10 towards it as it was a little expensive.
I did, but he was the one who planned it and also said it was my present. Not sure what to think?

What are posters stating its not an expensive restaurant getting out of saying that? It's not helpful in anyway whatsoever to op.

I thought you were going to say it was a £100pp tasting menu with paired wines or something!
I would be really pissed off but gift giving is important to me.
What is his financial situation like that he thinks £47 is an expensive restaurant?

Is it expensive at 47 pounds for a starter, two mains. That sounds pretty cheap! Why would he ask for a tenner towards it. Is he usually this tight?

That's a crappy gift, imo. If he couldn't afford or didn't want to pay it all, he shouldn't have offered to take your there for your birthday. He could have done something else within his budget. This was his suggestion, and then he asks you to contribute? Tacky!

I'd take this as a sign that he didn't value me, and I'd examine the relationship more closely, because I doubt this is the only weird or cheap thing he's done.

He’s a tight wad. I’d dump him

How unconsiderate! If you're skint you offer something you can afford ! I woulnt dream of asking for money if I invited a partner or a friend for a birthday meal. That is just stingy. A deal breaker for me. I would have been fine with just an offer of a bottle of wine and crisps or just going out for an ice cream if my partner didn't have the funds but having to buy my own birthday dinner ? No thanks.

If he had enough to cover it himself, then he's simply telling you that you're not 'worth' spending that much on, isn't he?

If he was short of funds, he could've gone somewhere cheaper or asked you later if you could lend him a tenner until pay day instead of asking you for cash at the time, couldn't he?

It's a reality check on how 'important' both you and your feelings are to him, so £20 ish is what you're worth 😬😖

No. I would not be happy at all.

At £47 it was £23.50 each so he spent £13.50 on you.... and almost double (£23.50) on himself on your birthday

My issues are:

1. Lets be real...He has £10.
2. Even If he only had £37 to spend it could have been much better spent.
3. Even if he really thought he "couldnt afford it" He could have cooked you something special at home for less
4. If he can't budget his money / is that poor with allocating/using it... he either tight, stupid or generally a loser. Either way that legit isnt someone i could build a life with. Its a deal breaker.

So he spent £17 on your birthday gift! He paid for his own mean £27, you contributed £10 so essentially he gave you a £17 meal gift. I can see why you're upset.

Match his energy on his next birthday/Christmas gift

Christ he's a bit of a twat isn't he OP??

Essentially he bought you a £17 present at a cheap restaurant! Not even a glass of wine or a pudding!!

Throw this one back...it won't ever get better than this with him 😮

I'd feel awkward uncomfortable and I'd dry up like the desert. Yuk.

Objectively, it isn't expensive. It's a mid-range, nice bar meal/ chain restaurant price. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not like it's a high end restaurant where he's been caught out by having to buy vegetables/ potatoes seperately, or service charges added on that will have affected the budget that he may not have been prepared for.

It's only a few £ per head more than a cheap pile-it-high place like a Hungry Horse.

The outcome is that what he spent just on OP after the extra £10 was pretty low and that £10 was a relatively large proportion of the "gift" that OP recieved.

I paid about £36 for 2 adults and 1 kids meal at Wimpy yesterday. But my conclusion was it was expensive!!

That's not an expensive restaurant! If he's going to be tight then he should have treated you to a McDonald's! I'd be disappointed if mine asked for a tenner towards my present!

Whether you think it's expensive or not, you don't ask someone to pay towards their own birthday present so he's unreasonable and not generous. I wouldn't be remotely impressed if I were you op

That is grim. In someone’s birthday if you take them out to dinner, you pay!
If money is tight cook a lovely meal at home and put some effort in.
He still got to eat a meal here and yet you had to give £10 at a point in the night you could not refuse?
Money is tight for lots of us, so if you can’t afford the treat don’t offer it.
I would rather have a nice meal at home than sit in a restaurant nursing a soft drink, with no dessert, and contributing £10 to it.
And I take it there was no tip, either?

Haha I didn’t mean the Wimpy was cheap. I meant that two meals and a starter for £47 is pretty inexpensive.

It’s not that if money is tight this is trifling - but it’s not like he’s got stung by somewhere being unexpectedly expensive- there aren’t many places where you’d get a meal for two for less than £50 - so asking OP for a tenner towards the meal seems incredibly tight.

If he genuinely only had £37 to spare, he could've got some decent food in and a bottle of wine and cooked you a nice dinner.

Can you afford to not live with him?

He has shown that he cares more about himself than you, he could easily have just bought you a gift for £30 even if it was zero effort gift vouchers instead of buying himself a nice meal and making you pay almost half of yours.

So all in all it was just a treat for himself, he got to eat at the restaurant he wanted and managed in the end to only spend £13.50 on you.

But he can tell everyone he took you out to a restaurant for your birthday. He didn’t.

This is so lovely 🥺❤️

He asked you to pay a tenner of £47?!? I thought it was going to be like £400 the way you spoke.
this is all kinds of yuck really.

( also, where do you get a nice dinner for £47?!)

Context. If £47 is considered a very high priced meal at a place you think of as somewhere one doesn't go often as it's so expensive then perhaps it literally was more than he had.

I think people were thinking a bill of £120 or similar where £10 seems weird to ask for.

Not ideal but we all have our financial limits.

What a lovely read.

I couldn't be with someone who couldn't afford a £47 birthday meal and had to ask me for a tenner when he was the one who booked it for my present.