How late to let a 12 year old stay out

[DoodleDragonD]

DS (12) just had a friend call for him to come out to play (8.45pm) It’s pouring down and his friend was soaked. AIBU to think that it’s too late for DS to go out and for his friend to be out? DS had just had a bath and was in his PJs. He’s in year 7 in comp and quite a few of his new friends seem to be out all hours and left to their own devices a lot. What’s a normal curfew for a 12 year old? Is going out to play at nearly 9pm way too late?

In the summer holidays I don't think 9p.m. is too late for them to be out at a friend's house, but not on a school night or after dark.

Is he just playing in your street though? I think that’s different to gallivanting all around the local town/parks in the pouring rain? His new comp friends seem to be out at all hours, even trying to ring DS phone at 11.30 at night.

Yeah, just in the street. Oh that would give me the fear. Half 11 is way too late. I’d say 10pm for a 12 year old as long as I could track their phone.

When it's time to eat - after that he can stay in. So I'd think 6pm.

No bedtimes here as we are long past that stage, DD is 20 now. At 12 she still would’ve been out doing hobbies, sport etc at 9pm along with the vast majority of her friends. Still light outside = too early for a tween to go to bed in my opinion. She was typically asleep for 10:30/11pm and up at 7:30am. Considering it’s the end of the school year I’d relax a bit

Another one here agreeing with you. A 12 year old out at 9pm on a school night, " hanging around" Doesn't make for a great following school day, not to mention the risk. He needs routine and healthy habits instilled now far more than he did when he was 5! She isn't being " ridiculous" she is being a thoughtful Mum considering all consequences. It isn't 1986!

They don't need to be in bed by 9 but it's too late to be out.

Bedtime depends on how early they get up, but I wouldn't expect somebody knocking for them that late.

Based on the replies it would seem you are the one being ridiculous. And irresponsible.

My 12 yo twins have been asleep since nine. They have to get up at 6. I guess it's area dependent there is no where safe they could play out here, and it's pissing with rain again anyway. They can go to their friends or vice versa but school days it's usually pick up by 8.

It's really light here until 10.30 so sometimes my boy is out until 10 with his friends. Not when it's raining though.

Also, it's school holidays here. If he was still in school it would be 9 that he has to come in.

Allowing my 12 year old to play sport at 9pm along with the rest of her (12 year old) teammates was really irresponsible. I think not. Said 12 year old is now a 20 year old medical student. Somehow she survived her ‘ridiculous’ upbringing and is a lovely, smart and successful young lady. Must be a miracle!

I'd say 8.30 / 9 unless he's doing something specific (an event or something) or at a friend's house. Mine are still young though so plenty of time to change my mind!

On a rainy night school night ds 12 would probably be in his pjs at that time. In a warm summer's night if he had school the next day he would be in about 9.15pm . If it's the weekend on a warm light summer's night he will be in about 9.45 pm

My 12yo's in bed at 8pm on a school night so would be too late for her. But it really depends on the DC.

Zero chance of that in my house.

9pm curfew seems reasonable

and DS is that age and was in PJs at 7:30pm because he spent a couple of hours with friends and got muddy. Sent for shower (Not in trouble, just I like my carpets not covered in mud) when he got in and went straight for pjs.

It’s pissing it down and it’s Monday night! It’s not like he’s having a story and a bottle of milk. It’s 9pm not 7pm.

So if 9pm curfew, would be fine to chat with friend in house/garden for a few mins but no vanishing off at 8:45!

It's a no from me me, my 12 year old is showered and in her room at 9 on a school night lights off at 9.30

My almost 12yr old is out playing football with her dad at the park. Its school hoildays tho. If she was with friends 8.30 and close by

Mines just turned 13 and he's not a big fan of hanging around the streets, he sometimes goes to the local youth club though and gets back about 9.30

My 11 year old goes out to play football with friends most days and tends to be back about 7.30

my daughter doesn’t really play out, but if she does, I want her in at 8 or 8.30. Some of her friends are out until 9.30, and they’re 11.

It's a school night. DD goes to bed at 9:30 and she starts settling in at about 8:30. Plus, it's pissing down AND dark.

On a school night? Probably also when they have exams for setting next year?