To ask what people mean when they say ‘leave the housework’…

82 replies

Rainbowsponge · 08/07/2024 16:46

… in the context of managing a new baby, or having small children in general.

Which tasks are supposed to be neglected/low proirity?

OP posts:

ruethewhirl · 08/07/2024 18:42

Rainbowsponge · 08/07/2024 16:53

Yes but MIL constantly tells me the reason I’m a stressed working mum of 2 under 4 is because I need to relax about the housework etc. Yet if I skip a few days hoovering, don’t wash up immediately and leave hairs in the sink she pulls a face when she comes in. So I’m wondering whether people actually mean it and if so what tasks they’re referring to because I can’t think of any I do that aren’t necessary!

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She sounds like my MIL, in which case what she means by 'relax about the housework' is 'you're still expected to get it all done, just be relaxed about it' 😂Not helpful, I know!

Nettleskeins · 08/07/2024 18:59

Putting clothes away in drawers/wardrobes as opposed to leaving them in a pile and helping yourself when needed
Wiping worktops but not cleaning sink
Not tidying anything away and hoovering centre of room only
Dumping bags in hall, ditto shoes
Leaving dry groceries and cans on side of kitchen

No ironing whatsoever unless emergency and then from washing pile
Sheets washed every week and towels more often but left on pile/bannistrrs until used to make bed
Not sweeping front path
Side tables have random stuff on at all times
Tiles are greasy
Shower tiles have limescale

Non of these things affect hygiene of small children but the house will LOOK a mess.
I still live like this tbh .....and my children are adults

Nettleskeins · 08/07/2024 19:03

I do hoover corners now and clean the bathrooms thoroughly but I don't think it was high on my priorities before ..clean clothes, bedding, clean kids clean tableware clean prep surfaces were important

Alwaystimeforacupoftea · 08/07/2024 19:10

I've just discovered a lot of housework jobs I should have been doing all this time!

Tagyoureit · 08/07/2024 19:11

Rainbowsponge · 08/07/2024 16:50

But it all involves hygiene doesn’t it? Clean kitchen and bathroom, clean clothes, clean/hoovered floors for a crawling baby

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A newborn isn't crawling and hopeful by the time they are, you're in a better routine to be able to sort housework

Titsywoo · 08/07/2024 19:14

JawJaw · 08/07/2024 16:57

This used to really annoy me when people said it when my DCs were born. It was as if housework was a silly, optional hobby of mine which could easily be dropped. You can stop doing some things for a while, but they don’t go away and you eventually end up with the house in a state, which is depressing. The last thing you need when tiredness and PND is depressing enough.

Instead of being told not to do stuff, women with new borns should be told that someone will be doing it for them. I am sure that most women have enough adults around them who would be capable of taking over the housework. And yet, they usually don’t. At least not in this country nowadays.

Edited

Agreed. I was really lucky that with my first born my mum came over and took all my washing away and bought it back clean, dried and ironed twice a week. I lived in a tiny flat so it was fairly easy to keep it tidy but I certainly left the washing up for DH and cleaning the bathroom so I just did a bit of tidying up and washing.

When I had my second it was much harder and the place was a tip for about a year as my Mum had started a new job and was busier and DH was working long hours. I just did the best I could and noone died!

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 08/07/2024 19:36

If it is not a contamination, disease, contagion risk, leave it!

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