To ask what people mean when they say ‘leave the housework’…

[Rainbowsponge]

… in the context of managing a new baby, or having small children in general.

Which tasks are supposed to be neglected/low proirity?

I cleaned in the evenings after DS was in bed. I really couldn't stand having a messy house and would rather do it then that at the weekends.

I’ve never really found that helpful advice, because you don’t have to leave a non essential job for very long before it becomes a massive, awful task taking ten times longer than it would have done if it hadn’t been left.

There is something to be said for cutting yourself as much slack as possible but there is a basic level of housekeeping required to keep body and soul together and I don’t see any real way of letting that stuff go, no matter how well intentioned the advice is.

Leave jobs like cleaning windows and things like skirting boards. Focus upon the kitchen, bathroom and sitting room clean. I'd say bedrooms are not so urgent if you usually change sheets every week leaving it 10 days or 2 weeks won't really matter. Certainly ironing does not need going. I usually change towels twice a week but if a new baby once a week would do.

Stop allowing her into your house!! 😄

Other jobs like baking and cooking from scratch can be relaxed a bit too. When my DD had a new baby I went and took 2 X lasagnes and made her a cat of Bolognese and frozen for her along with a couple of fish pies and a quiche. Life with a new baby is hard especially if trying to establish breastfeeding and you have an older DC too.

Yeah. I don't get it either. So I was already tired and stressed with a newborn, I didn't understand how the house being a shit tip on top of it all because I'd stopped doing the house work was supposed to help.

I’d also say I spent time (when in the thick of it sadly!) making things really really easy. Like having containers within drawers for different types of clothes that could be just dropped in, kallax for toys, laundry gets sorted as it gets taken off - that kind of thing that just speeds things up a bit.

You could have done with your Mum or someone changing the kids sheets and duvets and doing some laundry for you or cooking a few freezer meals you could just pull out and heat up when you were exhausted.

I think the “new baby essentials” list should include a dishwasher, tumble dryer and 2x robot mop hoovers, they’re things that will drastically reduce your housework.

DH’s job to change sheets every Friday evening.
Clean bathroom “as you go” by bleaching after each poo and checking for marks to wipe down as they appear. Clean shower once a week when you’re in it.
That just leaves dusting as “main job” which is my least favourite!

@Rainbowsponge But it all involves hygiene doesn’t it? Clean kitchen and bathroom, clean clothes, clean/hoovered floors for a crawling baby.

By the time a baby is crawling things are a lot easier and no reason to let as much of housework slide. I think when people say leave the housework they are talking about first few months

Thank you for explaining! I thought ‘a few minutes’ sounded good. 30 doesn’t sound too bad to be fair, although I definitely can’t hoover my downstairs in 7-8 minutes.

It’s bullshit OP. If it can be skipped, I’m already skipping it.

A cup and a plate you don’t wash today will need washing tomorrow. So you’re not really “saving” any work.

It’s just another stick to beat women with. You’re stressed about too much to do? Well now it’s YOUR FAULT.

How big is your house?!??? little and often is all I do and it works well for me

Yeah. No mum - or anyone else - willing to muck in, unfortunately. And my husband was working 12-14hr days at the time so it was all a bit miserable back in the newborn phase. Still, I'm pregnant again so it clearly hasn't put me off 😂 Thankfully my husband works better hours now.

'Leave the housework'

Means keep people safe and leave the rest to your DH or if you can afford it - cleaner.

No need to have your home dinner party ready 🤣

@Arewealljustloosingtheplot It is quite big to be honest. I could do with a cleaner but can’t really justify the cost at the moment.

Exactly this!

And especially this:
just another stick to beat women with. You’re stressed about too much to do? Well now it’s YOUR FAULT

Vacuuming and dusting I guess. Leaving washing for longer.. iron fewer things than you used to.

Little and often!! I only have carpets in two rooms downstairs so I find that easier than upstairs. When I say run round with the hoover , I do sometimes actually run!! We have just over 2000 square foot here of new build but I’d struggle with a big character country pile!

can you sell your husband to pay for the cleaner?! 🤣

I’m not sure he’s worth much @Arewealljustloosingtheplot 😂

(Although he is to me, of course!)

Maybe a robot vacuum is what I need!

Yet if I skip a few days hoovering

How often do you hoover?

There's no way she notices if you haven't hoovered for a few days, unless you have a very hairy dog shedding everywhere.

A bit of dust won't hurt them.

I don’t dust anyway. I don’t really have ornaments or anything like that.

IMO it’s not supposed to mean leave it entirely until they’ve grown up but on the bad days only do the complete essentials rather then killing yourself to do everything.