If your kids use screens in a restaurant

[bravefox]

... at least have the decency to bring headphones or put them on silent.

Took my two out for a bite to eat after clubs this morning, would have been quieter to sit in an arcade. If you must let your kids use a tablet etc while they're waiting fine, but please don't make the rest of us listen to it.

YABU: deal with it
YANBU: turn the sound off!!

Yes and no. I'd be amazed if the couple on the flight behind us who saw nothing wrong with their 4 year old kid watching tablet before the fight had even taken off while they got drunk were very different day to day. Perhaps they are, who knows. And if you're so prepared you have a tablet with the right videos ready I doubt it's a one off

what?!? This is batshit. The drinking is clearly not fine but what’s wrong with iPad before plane takes off?! They are stuck sitting still.

and why on earth wouldn’t someone have the correct videos downloaded before the flight? You can’t download them ON the flight. Do you have children?! It’s just basic planning, like making sure you have colouring books etc.

again, I’m pretty anti screens out of the house/in general but really I can’t suffer 2 hours of performance parenting hard work on a flight to make other people I don’t know not judge me when there is the very easy option of sticking a film on so everyone around us can have some level of peace.

You can get beanie hats with inbuilt headphones, most kids wear hats

I didn't know that, Allfur, what a good idea!

Yep. And I'd rather listen to the Sandra's to be honest.

On one hand I agree with you. On the other hand your tone is so unpleasant and dictatorial that I rather think I don’t see why I ought to have to choose anything. There is no rule about it. Just as there’s no rule about adults getting drunk and being rude on the plane near me. or talking about crap.

if you’d rather listen to my 18 month old screaming as he doesn’t want to sit still etc that’s quite a bizarre choice.

As grandparents when they were toddlers, guilty as charged with Peppa pig when eating out, they didn't understand waiting for service.

Now they're lovely to sit and chat to when out.

My husband was the worst offender for looking at his phone continuously until my patience snapped one day. But he's the same at home.

It's concerning that he can't even watch a television programme without picking up the damn thing now and again.

Now you can! You couldn’t then.

You might, certainly. I wouldn’t

Curiouserandcuriouser, I expect you would. I find your entitlement unpleasant too and frankly nauseating. Thankfully, most parents aren't like you and have a care for people around them.

We didn't do screens but if we had, that is what would have been dinned into my children. "Yes you can have them but you either wear headphones or the sound goes off. You can choose".

Downloaded programming before my regular hospital clinics are a godsend. Reduces anxiety, passes the time. I have one ear bud in so that I can hear my name being called for each procedure.

Friday at the clinic the TV was set to election results news channel 🙈

As I said (twice now), I never use screens out of the house, in restaurants or otherwise.

I have only ever used them on airplanes. I think it’s a very good use of screens.

but this thread is everything wrong with mn. It’s just a bunch of bitter sounding crones who are extremely entitled and dislike children in the main. You’d never ever have the balls to tell an adult off for listening to screens but you have no qualms complaining about children. Or parents, so you can feel superior.

I wouldn’t use screens in a restaurant but I think people have their reasons. You don’t sound like you give a shit about what those reasons might be, or that you can execute a modicum of logic or reason when considering why someone might not follow black and white “no earphones” rules you’ve made up.

im going to put my device down now because I think screens are pretty antisocial when sued by adults too - and I always know I’ve had enough screen time when I’ve been bored enough to engage with people like you on here 🤣🤣🤣 have a great evening behind a screen!

Did we? I don't think it was particularly normal for people with young children to go out to eat when I was small, so I was older by the time I did go to restaurants, and so was of an age where I would behave and not scream and run around because I was bored and wouldn't have needed a distraction while waiting for the food to come. I was about 9 when I first went on a foreign holiday (years, not months!).

Edited: I wasn't allowed to read at the table at home which I found really annoying. I often read the weekend paper when eating my lunch now!

I wasn't allowed to read at the table at home which I found really annoying

Same for me, I loved reading at mealtimes but it wasn't allowed.

I really don't know if we would have been allowed screens or not because they weren't around. It would have been colouring books or one small (quiet!) toy. Annoying other people was a no-no and if you were out you were to behave and be quiet. Not silent, but not loud enough to disturb others.

No adult is seen eating in a restaurant scrolling their phone with one hand , completely ignoring their partner throughout the entire metal whilst using the free hand to get the food to their mouth.

I've seen plenty of adults do this. Even if they're in company. Sitting there like automatons, madly scrolling, not looking at anything but their phones. Sad but true.

As long as their phones are quiet, I don't care.

• I've seen plenty of adults do this. Even if they're in company. Sitting there like automatons, madly scrolling, not looking at anything but their phones. Sad but true.

As long as their phones are quiet, I don't care.*

Exactly and plenty of threads on here of posters complaining their friend/partner/family member was on their phone during a meal/activity.

Oh and everybody saying colouring books, stickers, toys ,games etc. ...

Does no one remember the thread where OP was pissed off with small kids playing with their sticker books on the train?

I understand parents of autistic children say the tablet regulates their children. A genuine question is: How have tablets etc become the only thing ro regulate children when out? Is there nothing else? Before tablets, did parents have no way of regulating children so were unable to eat out?
I actually completely support parents of ND children using tablets when out but it's the NT ones that should be participating fully in the social experience that shouldn't be. Why not a book, colouring in or a little toy until the meal comes?

It is precious parenting and very entitled to be annoyed with other parents when your kids ask you why they can't do things that other children are doing.

The answer is always, "Alfie's mum/dad makes the rules for Alfie and I make the rules for this family and that's just how it is". Not secretly to be annoyed that Alfie's mum sends chocolate to school as a snack and so your DS is moaning about their carrot sticks and houmous.

You can't control how other people parent their children (and nor should you feel entitled to). All you can do is set rules for your own. Have the courage in your convictions and ride out the whining, but don't project your convictions onto others.

Personally, on trains and planes, I prefer a child with a screen (and headphones of course!).

I would never dream of saying anything because of course it would be very intolerant, but my heart secretly sinks whenever parents get on with a huge bag of tricks for the journey and it becomes apparent that they intend to entertain their offspring with numerous excited games of "I spy", reading stories and colouring (the crayons are inevitably dropped/roll under seats).

I realise that the issue is with me though, so I always smile benignly. It must work because more than once I've been handed a baby or put on toddler guard-dog watch so the mum can go to the loo without taking the whole crew.

There was definitely one adult in the places we were in today that did this. Ordered his boys a steak each then sat glued to his phone silently or the next 30mins. Poor kids.

Fwiw the point of the thread was about noise though. Not that bothered about how people parent as long as I'm able to chat to my two without the constant jangling of rings from sonic the hedgehog at the next table

Playing stuff on screens out loud without headphones in public is inexcusable. Use headphones or have it on mute.

Not that long ago my child wouldn't still be alive so I wouldn't have the dilemma of how to soothe him. He's 4, he has a gene deletion. He's blind, he has no trunk or head control and music is his comfort in new/busy/unfamiliar environments so I put his beloved nursery rhymes on my phone for him and tuck it in close so he can feel the vibrations and hear the music, he can't use headphones because his head support in his chair doesn't leave any space for them. I use this method to keep him calm in stressful places like the doctor's surgery or the clinic waiting room. I also use it if I am eating/drinking a coffee while we're out. The music isn't loud (I often can't really hear it sat next to him) as his hearing is acute. We get stared at frequently, people comment on him behind their hands or they do the sad eyes look, what he loves best is when someone talks to him like he's a real person rather than an object of pity. If people think the use of a device makes me a bad parent they are more than welcome to come and show me where I am going wrong.

Yes, honestly a tablet and headphones is a godsend for a lot of families with autistic kids. It often really is way more effective than anything else. Without it, yes we probably wouldn’t be able to go out for a meal etc.

As I said on PP I know a lot of families with both NT and ND kids and it’s overwhelmingly the parents of autistic children who will use a tablet out and about. (And you couldn’t necessarily tell their child is autistic on sight) Most of my friends with NT kids don’t allow screens at the table or may do very occasionally when they’ve exhausted all the colouring/books/toys.

Interestingly I remember going to Paris and noticed the French families with young children never seemed to have any trace of a colouring book or toys etc. The kids would just sit there obediently and quietly. I wonder whether in other cultures bringing out a load of toys/colouring/stickers is seen as lazy parenting.