To feel like Travis Kelce has shown me the way a genuinely interested man acts.

[Podcast84]

I am done with the low effort, the excuses, the inconsistency. I am actually disgusted at myself for the total BS I have put up with from men.
Yes I know I'm not a gorgeous billionaire superstar like Taylor Swift but seeing how devoted Travis Kelce is to her has just made a light bulb go off in my head. He is so in love with her that he went to a wedding on Saturday night in LA and then flew to Ireland the next day so that he could surprise her at her concert on Sunday night.
And here I am, taking scraps and actually entertaining this pathetic lukewarm behaviour.
Wtf is wrong with me. Well thank you Travis, you have shown me how a man acts when he is crazy about you. I'm sure Taylor Swift isn't wondering if he will call, or if he will reply to her text or cancel a date or if she's just another one on his roster.
If he wanted to he would springs to mind. I have now entered a new phase and I will now be asking, Would Travis do this with Taylor? Yeah probably not.
Disclaimer. I'm a massive Taylor Swift fan and am over the moon for her and how happy they both are together. I guess I just wish I met men that behaved like Travis.

You should absolutely have higher standards. All women and girls should.

Travis Kelce and big showy(PR induced) gestures are not that standard.

That's a fair point.

I imagine they do as their PR team tell them. That’s how beards work.

🙄 I wouldn't take anything that PR managed seriously.

BUT everyone should know their worth and not make concessions just to be in a relationship at expense of their self.

I have no idea if Taylor and Travis have the dream relationship you think they have but it's brilliant that you've decided to raise your expectations for the standard of behaviour you expect from men. Hallelujah in fact! I despair daily at the appalling male behaviour so many women who post on here accept from their partner, hoping beyond hope that he will change - they don't change.

I don't know what made me like I am as I came from a very disadvantaged background, but I always had a sense of worth and self respect, and I never took the slightest amount of crap from a man.

I have two adult daughters who grew up seeing how devoted their dad is to their mum, and to them. When they began dating I quoted Oscar Wilde to them "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary". If you don't think you're special why would anybody else? Fast forward and they both have husbands who worship them. I now have granddaughters and will be giving them the same advice.

The only way male behaviour will change is if we women raise our expectations.

Yeah I get what a lot of you are saying that it's about the daily mundane stuff a person does for you, but I'm more talking about the early dating stage, like the first 6 months to a year. Basically when they are really into you and showing it like Travis is and the way he looks at her when she's on stage, you can tell he's absolutely crazy about her.
All I have had are lame situationships, slow fades, people going off the radar and then returning, people still on dating apps when I thought we were just seeing each other, people wanting to sleep with me but also keep their options open, the last few years has been an absolute shit show.

Ah yes, the “virtually unheard” of three times Super Bowl winner, multi NFL record breaking Travis Kelce.

With the reality TV show about his dating life, acting career, Saturday Night Live host, Award Winning Podcast, multiple endorsement deals and business interests….

I had never heard of him till this thread and I see that his team benefited massively when she turned up to his matches.
I actually feel sorry for TS because she will know that any man that goes after her is suspect. At least those of us who are not gorgeous billionaires usually find someone who is genuinely interested in us. Even if he is in love with her he will probably cheat with a less attractive less well off woman.
I know someone who is obviously not in the same ball park as TS, but who is very wealthy/accomplished/famous in her own sport (racing driving)/beautiful and with an impressive academic profile -and has she had good relationships..no. Because the men all feel like they are punching. She is now early 40s and very unlikely to have children.

I know very little about Kelce, but big gestures aren’t always a sign of devotion - look up love-bombing. I’m not saying that Travis is a narcissist, but there are many reasons why a man might do what he did and not all of them mean he’s devoted and interested in her and what she does.

Don’t base your love life on big romantic gestures. Devotion is quiet and unshowy, a solid rock not a flashy costume jewel.

This. Their marriage gives every appearance of being based in enduring love and mutual support and has lasted a lifetime - but you wouldn’t even know what he looks like.

Swift & Kelce appear to be the opposite of that: a performative, showy relationship that exists to feed her massive publicity machine. Not that he seems to mind - they both equally wallow in the attention and seem happy to be photographed and ‘exclusively’ interviewed every time they cough or take a piss. I may be quite the cynic, but if all that suddenly disappeared I’d give them about a week and a half before the wheels came off.

By all means set the bar high for yourself, OP, but please don’t base your expectations on an illusion generated by a billionaire’s PR company.

It's true though that outside of the US & outside of the fairly small in reality American football international fan community he wasn't as globally known as he is now; to most across the world he was unknown and now is not. I'm not suggesting anything untoward in his intentions, but it's wild to suggest that dating her hasn't positively affected his profile.

With the way Taylor goes through them he’s terrified he’ll be dumped and the subject of her next Platinum hit

There's plenty of men jetting around to see Taylor at a concert and paying for it. She's a global superstar. Travis might also want to keep tabs on her so it could be a control thing.

Barack and Michelle Obama. Now there’s a genuine relationship.

What's this book about? Is it something you'd read whilst in the beginning of a relationship?!

It’s strikes me as love bombing, which is just another way for men to reveal themselves eventually as controlling dick heads.

You absolutely should set the bar high, and there are some great guys out there-I’m lucky enough to be married to one but it’s not about grand gestures.

I know little of Taylor and her bloke.

I think it’s easy to make big gestures when you’re loaded, for one.

I also agree there can be a fine line between ‘love bombing’ and showing interest, affection etc.

Having said that, I have never had a relationship with a man who didn’t seem massively keen and really showed it early on. Why waste time?

I’ve been with my DH for 25 years and I’m pretty sure some on MN would’ve told me I was being ‘love bombed’ if I’d have been around to post about the early stages of our relationship on here! He was completely smitten with me. Lots of gifts, flowers, fancy dates, surprises, trips away etc and made a huge effort to do kind and thoughtful things for me.

I find the whole thing between them actually very cringey. I had to turn off a clip the other day of him dancing on stage with her. They remind me of couples that constantly declare their love for each other on FB and then a few months later have broken up and are posting 'cryptic' messages.
I agree with others that there are other famous couples who have stood the test of time who are much more inspiring.
Their constant use of private jets aren't too inspiring either.

I do think that just like words such as gaslight, narcissist, love bombing has been stretched beyond its original meaning.

It’s not money it’s the level of effort. When I met my DP he was a mature student with no car. He used to cycle 15 miles to see me. Trust me, I knew he was never going to ignore my messages or mess me around and that he was loyal to me. Money isn’t the point of this thread, it’s about not wasting your time on people who aren’t that into you.

I mean, yes, but what you see is the instagram part of their relationship. That’s not what matters.

The only bit that matters in truth is what only they see.

My husband has never whisked me off on a mini break as a surprise. But he has just made me a cup of coffee without being asked and will be taking our youngest daughter out for for a shopping afternoon today while I’m out with my eldest. He also fills my water cup up for me every night before bed.

These are the tiny I love yous that add up to big I love yous. That’s what to really look for.

I really don't think a rich man flying to see his rich gf as a surprise is any better a gesture of love than something simple and free - perhaps saying something genuinely heartfelt from someone who doesn't find it easy. Yes, don't accept poor treatment for sure, but I'd find such a grand gesture annoying frankly, and would wonder if it's more about his ego than his love for her.

It's showbiz...

I don't think he's a fame hunter and Taylor is a doe-eyed innocent in this. This is a woman who, for whatever her kindness and gentle qualities, has ruthlessly pursued and achieved the pinnacle of success in a cutthroat industry.

This isn't a bad thing, but she is hardly shy of splashing her relationships around - not just romantically, but with her cabal of super thin supermodel friends etc.

This is a woman with a highly curated public image. (Again, this is not a criticism. She has made a great success of this, and more power to her elbow, BUT it does mean that her care for her fans, her romances, her friendships, her charity etc can't be taken at face value. Her power lies in making her fans believe she's relatable and connected etc - whether it's real or not.)

So no, I don't think using her as an example of good relationships is a great idea. Look at those nearer to home OP.

I agree with ‘look at those closer to home’. Who are the people you know who are in genuinely happy, supportive relationships?

Celebrity relationships are fantasy. The bits we see of them are the curated best bits. It’s similar to those couples who gush over each other on social media and are constantly posting about their amazing, happy romance. It’s the curated version. I’m sceptical.