To feel like Travis Kelce has shown me the way a genuinely interested man acts.

[Podcast84]

I am done with the low effort, the excuses, the inconsistency. I am actually disgusted at myself for the total BS I have put up with from men.
Yes I know I'm not a gorgeous billionaire superstar like Taylor Swift but seeing how devoted Travis Kelce is to her has just made a light bulb go off in my head. He is so in love with her that he went to a wedding on Saturday night in LA and then flew to Ireland the next day so that he could surprise her at her concert on Sunday night.
And here I am, taking scraps and actually entertaining this pathetic lukewarm behaviour.
Wtf is wrong with me. Well thank you Travis, you have shown me how a man acts when he is crazy about you. I'm sure Taylor Swift isn't wondering if he will call, or if he will reply to her text or cancel a date or if she's just another one on his roster.
If he wanted to he would springs to mind. I have now entered a new phase and I will now be asking, Would Travis do this with Taylor? Yeah probably not.
Disclaimer. I'm a massive Taylor Swift fan and am over the moon for her and how happy they both are together. I guess I just wish I met men that behaved like Travis.

But @beenwhereyouare outside of America did anyone know who he was?

Are you really that innocent OP? Do you actually think it's genuine? It's all for show on social media. They both can play the media and you like fiddles.

No, we did not!
Because who in their right mind, living in a country where the choice of people available to run said country is more than an octogenarian or a criminal, would have any interest in a game that the americans won't play against any other country, and won't accept a draw as an outcome?

Well you can date Brian who lives with him mum then

My husband was very attentive in the early days and left me in no doubt of his feelings. We were students so not jetting across the world obviously as he was skint - as in not eating til he went to Asda at 9.57pm for the real last minute whoopsies skint. Nevertheless he would walk 3 miles to see me on my lunch break, he ALWAYS phoned when he said he would (sometimes from a call box when he had no phone credit) and he would always swap sides so he was walking near the traffic. He still does all those things and it wasn't love bombing, it was what I deserved. And I'm nothing special, so I'd wager you deserve it too.

When we'd been together about 2 months my mum glanced out of the window as he was walking home after seeing me home and despite being 6 ft tall and well built, he did the "heel clap" (like in the GIF above)... she said it was very cute, like the Martin Freeman bit in Love Actually.

I actually don't think he is genuine at all I think he knows a good thing when he sees it and she is amazing for his career but then that's just my prospective. When I met my other half I was the same sick of being messed about. any men I had dated didn't put in any effort messed me about etc the usual story . But my DH was different he text when he said he would, and did what he said there was no wondering. it was all the little things really, he treated me right, he did small very thoughtful things like buy me a hairbrush and essentials to keep at his place obviously a bit further down the line. It wasn't huge romantic gestures it was little gestures sometimes very practical but very thoughtful. I didn't fall madly in love on the first date we both agree it was the 3rd date for both of us that we knew there was something there as we talked for hours and really got to know each other and realised we had a lot in common . Up until then I would of wrote someone off after a 1st date so it goes to show give people a chance even if you aren't sure if you fancy them straight away, after our 3rd date I knew very quick he was the one and I haven't regretted it 6 years on.

Ask the question - "Travis, what first drew you to the multi billionaire , Taylor?"

Honestly, OP, stop being so naive 🤣

And here I am, taking scraps and actually entertaining this pathetic lukewarm behaviour.

I've no real opinion on their relationship, but if it's made you realise you shouldn't be putting up with shitty behaviour then that's a good thing!

I wouldn't be looking for grand gestures, but you're right away not accepting low effort and inconsistency.

Setting aside ‘we don’t know what’s going on really’- I know what you mean OP, it’s surprising if you’ve been treated badly to realise that it’s not always like that. I remember having a moment of thinking ‘flipping heck, he really likes spending time with me’ when DH came over in the early days of seeing each other- then I was surprised at my own surprise, because it should be basic really- but it wasn’t how my previous boyfriend made me feel AT ALL.

I hope they are the real deal.

What i would say OP is i sometimes spent a lot of time nervous, thrilled, whatever... wondering if "he" would message or if we'd go on another date... but when i met my husband i NEVER felt like that.
It was all just SO calm and so easy.
i never had butterflies, i never had nervous excitement.
If he didnt reply for 4 hours i didnt womder if my message was lame, i knew he was in back to back meetings or couldnt reply properly.
I also agree with @LizzeyBenett i thought he was fine/nice in dates 1 and 2, date 3 we were out alllll night talked for hours and I thought "yeah. I like you. I really like you"

It doesn't matter how much money they have or what his past history is. They are being used as an example here.

This is about the OP realising her worth.

This is major OP, a bit of a lightbulb moment I guess. You are worth more than the dregs which is what seemingly being offered/accepted.

This is the guy that screamed in a 65 year old mans face and nearly pushed him over on camera isn't it?

I couldn’t’t agree more. I’d run like the wind from a man who made big grand romantic gestures because they’re about him, not me. As you say real love is about the little things.

Yes they seem happy but you have to remember they both have publicly teams ensuring we see what they want us to see.

In terms of your own relationships yes of course you deserve someone kind who respects you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with aiming high.

I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift but recognise that they both look really in love, such a cute couple.

Read the book " He's not just that into you", it really opened my eyes back when I was dating to what you should expect in a man. Don't waste your time dating bad or uninterested men.

Yes! This is a great take home message!

I think posters have assumed that you want the big expensive celebrity gestures and PDAs but I’m interpreting that at the heart of it you want a man who 1)isn’t afraid to let others know you’re together 2)will put in effort to show you he loves you.

Big gestures are easy actually; hop on one flight and get the easy points. My DH and my DM are similar in that both show love by doing things. It's funny how I ended up with the same type... These are things I see as love:

1. Coffee made every morning just how I like it, in a thermos if I'm leaving the house
2. Disgusting tasks like fox poo on the mat; I say "eurgh" and he says "get out of the way, I'll sort it out now"
3. I'm tired, he says "sit down there and watch TV, I've made you a drink, dinner will be in soon"
4. I go to get coffee while feeling stressed at work, he looks at me and says "what's happened?"
5. Lie-in one day each week
6. I shiver and he passes me something warm
7. I put stuff in a bag and he automatically carries it because it's heavy Etc. A life is built out of millions of small interactions, and each big gesture realistically takes no more effort than all those small ones. Look for a man who focuses on all the little things just to make you more comfortable, that is a man who loves you. In my opinion.

Beware. Showy overblown gestures of affection can by design overwhelm your better judgment. The term for this is lovebombing - one of the earliest signs of a bad egg.

I'm not saying anything about TK who might be a great guy but you need better ways of evaluating a man's quality than whether he is willing to put in a big romantic effort early on (lots of bad men are to catch their "prize").

Being held on a pedestal is a red flag IMO. You are not a prize to be won. Respect and common ground as fellow human beings is what matters and lasts.

Edit: being enthusiastic about you is obviously good but better measured by wanting to talk, wanting to spend time together, wanting to get to know each other deeply. It's making the effort in small and consistent ways not the fancy showboating.

I know nothing much about Taylor Swift, but I'd say that basing your judgements about men on whether they give big, showy displays of commitment and affection would be a huge mistake. Lots of people do things for show, and celebrities doubly so. I imagine that the graveyard of short-lived, toxic or fake celebrity relationships is littered witĥ grand, romantic gestures (which in any case it would be hard to keep living up to even if they were genuine).

Don't lurch from accepting scraps to having unrealistic expectations, neither are good.

We have no idea what their relationship is actually like, we see what they want us to, nevermind the fact that they have access to private jets, less typical work patterns which allows this; they both have something to gain by projecting a certain image.

The best thing to do in addressing this is to work on your own self esteem. Once you have a healthy relationship with yourself you naturally are less content with accepting scraps.

Sometimes the best kind of bloke is the one who always remembers your favourite chocolate bar/crisps when he’s nipped out to the shops. Quietly goes to fill up a hot water bottle and get you a cup of tea when you are poorly, pulls his weight day to day because he’s an adult.

Showy shit doesn’t always mean much. I do understand about effort though, DH used to drive 3 hours to see me for 2. It did make me feel very valued. I had an ex who used to buy me champagne and follow me around everywhere, he was also strangling me when he got angry.

@beenwhereyouare you know what they say about TnT, it all blows up eventually. Perhaps not the cute nickname you wish to bestow upon them 😂

SOND 'Yes, nothing says I love you more than flying aacross the world for a shag.
Perfect.
Fuck the planet, make a grand gesture'

You have nailed it!

This 👆👆👆👆

This could just as likely be a sign of controlling behaviour. I am not saying it is, just that we cant judge a relationship or a person based on a few details

And agree with others that it's appalling to see how little rich people care about their carbon footprint.