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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To actually feel sorry for the woman driving the car in the Wimbledon car accident

994 replies

bagpuss90 · 06/07/2024 16:44

I’m sure I’ll be flamed here . I totally sympathise with the bereaved parents- I can’t stress that enough. I can understand them wanting justice . As we know the driver of the car suffered an epileptic seizure at the wheel - she had no history of epilepsy. I don’t see what she could have done differently. She has to live with what she did although it wasn’t her fault. AIBU to feel quite sorry for her ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
HcbSS · 06/07/2024 17:53

You can feel sorry for the families of the girls and for the woman driver in different ways. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Runnerinthenight · 06/07/2024 17:55

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:51

Google "critical thinking" love.

That's rich!!!! Don't make me laugh. You could do with googling it yourself and a lot of other things!

TheaBrandt · 06/07/2024 17:56

Agree op a dreadful accident terrible for all concerned. I honestly don’t understand the zeal to prosecute. There’s a “class war” tinge to some of these comments. If she’d been a cleaner driving a Nissan micra think she would have got more sympathy.

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:56

whatafaf · 06/07/2024 17:53

If they were just accepting her word, it surely wouldn't have taken this long to investigate? Would/ should her medical records be shared with people other than the professionals involved? Just questions. I don't know the answers or what should be the case. Horrendous situation.

I think that's why the parents are upset with the ruling - they are simply not convinced.

maudelovesharold · 06/07/2024 17:58

whatafaf · 06/07/2024 17:53

If they were just accepting her word, it surely wouldn't have taken this long to investigate? Would/ should her medical records be shared with people other than the professionals involved? Just questions. I don't know the answers or what should be the case. Horrendous situation.

I don’t know either, but I would have thought it would be a bereaved parent’s right to be shown proof that the incident which killed their child was the result of an unavoidable medical issue.

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:59

TheaBrandt · 06/07/2024 17:56

Agree op a dreadful accident terrible for all concerned. I honestly don’t understand the zeal to prosecute. There’s a “class war” tinge to some of these comments. If she’d been a cleaner driving a Nissan micra think she would have got more sympathy.

I would more willingly believe the cleaner because she would not have a shrewed defence team.

ArcaneWireless · 06/07/2024 17:59

wp65 · 06/07/2024 17:14

You are sadly ill-informed.

They are indeed.

This has just happened to a colleague.

No history whatsoever. Early 50s. Thankfully they were not driving at the time.

Mooda · 06/07/2024 18:00

I do feel sorry for her from the epilepsy point of view but the car was absolutely enormous. There's just no need to be driving a tank like that in a suburban area. If she'd been in a sensibly sized car the damage would have been significantly less. Anyone unfortunate enough to be in an accident with a vehicle like that, whatever the cause, is going to be very vulnerable - and that's a good reason for not driving one, never mind the obvious environmental considerations. It's tragic that these vehicles have been normalised for urban usage.

Scorchio84 · 06/07/2024 18:00

TheFallenMadonna · 06/07/2024 17:15

My mum had her first seizure aged 44.

Oh god that's really scary! Has she had any since if you don't mind my asking?

very tragic for alll involved

@Mooda yeah those big monster tanks have no place in a city, I shudder looking at how high up they are when we're walking into Tescos for example with my son & there's one parked up , even for an adult it'd be catastrophic

lanthanum · 06/07/2024 18:00

Anyone who thinks that she should be held responsible should themselves stop driving, so as not to put anyone at risk from the possibility that they too suffer an unpredictable medical episode.

It's hard - people want somewhere to put the blame, but sometimes it's just an unforeseeable accident.

Gymmum82 · 06/07/2024 18:01

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

A friend of mine had her first seizure at 35 out of the blue. Turned out to be caused by a brain tumour. Seizures can be caused by all sorts of things and at any time of life.

LlynTegid · 06/07/2024 18:01

In part I do feel sorry for someone to discover a medical condition in that way. However, had a standard sized car been the one being driven, I am convinced the outcome might not have been fatalities.

ArcaneWireless · 06/07/2024 18:02

I do feel desperately sorry for all affected.

OneTC · 06/07/2024 18:02

She's fairly far down my list in terms of sympathy if I'm perfectly honest.

ginasevern · 06/07/2024 18:04

HandyDandyNotebookWanker · 06/07/2024 16:53

YANBU. It's an awful situation for everybody involved.

I would like to see a review of the availability of these massive cars or their suitability for urban and suburban areas, though. If she'd been driving a Punto, this might not have happened. That's not to blame her - she made a perfectly legal choice of vehicle - but I don't think it's unreasonable to question whether they belong in densely populated areas.

Yes, this. Just look at the press pictures of the aftermath. The "car" is the size of a fucking Sherman tank. Nobody and nothing in its wake would stand an earthling of a chance. There is no need, absolutely zip, nada, zero reason to drive something like that unless you live on a farm. Don't these drivers know that people don't look at them with admiration or envy. At best, they're seen as pathetic tossers and at worst as dangerous selfish cunts.

Serencwtch · 06/07/2024 18:04

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

Absolutely not the case.
Appx 10% of the population will have a seizure at some point in their life. At any age. There are some developmental/genetic syndromes that can cause epilepsy & these are present from childhood, however these are a small percentage of people with epilepsy.

Epilepsy is defined as recurring seizures so if you have just a one off seizure you aren't technically epileptic. Many people will have just 1 seizure & many more will have a seizure & realize.

ClockBiscuit · 06/07/2024 18:05

I feel sorry for her. What a thing to have to live with.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a photo of the car as I've never seen one in real life. I do think it would be a good idea to look at whether these vehicles are necessary in cities.

HonoraBridge · 06/07/2024 18:08

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:11

I think it's a very convenient diagnosis - human brain is so complex, they can't prove she didn't have a seizure. Never heard of a person diagnosed with epilepsy at 40 though - I believe if you have it, it starts at the childhood.

This driver lives in a detached house in Wimbledon (worth millions in that area) and her car was not the cheapest one so apparently she could afford good lawyer and suitable diagnosis.

Edited

What a nasty, nasty comment.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/07/2024 18:09

Some folk seriously lacking in medical understanding or critical thinking here!

Yes, of course, they just took her word for it and did no further investigation following the horrific deaths of two little girls, in front of their classmates. Thats how policing and the british justice system works don't you know?

No.

They've spent a YEAR trying to find evidence that would prove she committed an offence.

In that year she has provided evidence from neurology experts, that show she had a seizure and given everywhere is quoting she is diagnosed with epilepsy now, that must mean she has had at least another seizure since the accident.

In that year, the police have failed to find any other evidence suggesting she did not have a seizure - so forensic investigation of the car, CCTV footage, eye witnesses etc etc.

There is sufficient evidence that this was not a crime, that CPS say there is no case to answer. If there were, even a little bit of doubt, there would be a trial.

Theres a lot of misinformation about epilepsy here...

Anyone can have a fit at any point without any warning, at any age.

There may or may not be visible evidence on a scan to show a prior fit.

Drivers who have had fits in the past, but haven't had one for a year (at least, sometimes longer) can apply to have their licences back. You can do this multiple times too (a friend of mine has had to hand in her licence several times, and has had it back several times. She has never had a fit whilst driving, hers have some warning to them.

I feel very sorry for everyone involved, it would be hugely unreasonable not to be!

DontCallMeBaby · 06/07/2024 18:09

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 17:51

Google "critical thinking" love.

Google “adult onset epilepsy”.

Sirine1708 · 06/07/2024 18:12

Serencwtch · 06/07/2024 18:04

Absolutely not the case.
Appx 10% of the population will have a seizure at some point in their life. At any age. There are some developmental/genetic syndromes that can cause epilepsy & these are present from childhood, however these are a small percentage of people with epilepsy.

Epilepsy is defined as recurring seizures so if you have just a one off seizure you aren't technically epileptic. Many people will have just 1 seizure & many more will have a seizure & realize.

What % of people with seizures not caused by tumors, bleedings or other health isues that can be named will have the first seizure between 20 and 60?
I couldn't find the data, just most articles mention onset either before 20 or after 60.

But I think this % would be much smaller then % of people like her that can afford good advocates.

I don't understand why people don't even try to compare both probabilities and see the obvious.

maudelovesharold · 06/07/2024 18:12

Gymmum82 · 06/07/2024 18:01

A friend of mine had her first seizure at 35 out of the blue. Turned out to be caused by a brain tumour. Seizures can be caused by all sorts of things and at any time of life.

I’m sure that’s right. But if the parents had been informed that there was evidence that she had e.g. a brain tumour, I doubt that they would be querying the police investigation. It seems to me that the parents feel that the police have been investigating behind closed doors, and expect them to take on trust the fact that the woman had a seizure, without being shown the evidence which led the police to their decision not to prosecute.

justasking111 · 06/07/2024 18:14

Awful accident locally this week, male driver had a health event crashed the car in town. His wife was a passenger, he's now in a stable condition but his wife died yesterday. I can't imagine how awful he will be feeling.

The young woman with epilepsy is not guilty of anything.

HonoraBridge · 06/07/2024 18:14

What “proof” do people need? If there is no evidence of a previous medical incident then that is it. What on earth do you think the police were investigating? Compare the Glasgow bin-lorry driver. As someone said earlier, there is a very unpleasant class-war issue in some comments.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 06/07/2024 18:15

Happened to a friend of mine, luckily nobody was hurt. YANBU.