Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

I think you've had some really shitty replies on this thread, OP. That said, you've had some understanding ones also.

I totally get why you wouldn't want things to change as your son has blossomed under this particular teacher but that doesn't mean that he won't develop further and better, as he grows up, with the succession of teachers that he will have. Mr T will be a fond memory for him in the way that many of us remember good teachers that we had (Miss McCann for me).

What matters now is how you deal with this. I know that you wrote your thread hoping that posters would come up with a plan for you to keep your son with Mr T but you know that is not going to happen; it can't happen. You will need to get over your sadness and lack of control feelings and play up for your son. Jolly him along into the new school class and treat it as an adventure. He will then have a good base from which to jump.

Put your 'heartbreak' behind you and think of your son and what's best for him.
Ask your son what Mr T would like as a present because that present will be from him rather than you.

It will all be fine.

Hateam

I often have nothing left to give child after one year. They've heard (suffered) all of my jokes and little fun things.

I love this!! (Raises a glass)

I get it op. In my experience all it takes is one year of one shit teacher and that can really mess a child up.
I have two children: eldest is now at secondary but they had two awful years with two horrendous people at primary who should never have been teaching children.
My youngest has only had the one bad teacher . It messed him up a lot and it wasn’t just him- hates boys and it is so apparent. It is common knowledge to parents at the school of boys just how badly she treats the two sexes so unfairly. Most parents each year pray they won’t get her next year but the trouble is she is protected by the head regardless of how many complaints there are about her .

Good ( and kind ) teachers are worth their weight in gold.

Absolutely this.
Children whose fathers have left will probably thrive with a good , solid male role model.

As PP have said, some children won’t ever get Mr T.

The staff probably k ow the children who are lacking a strong role model in their lives, so a good teacher can possibly help .

OP’s husband hasn’t run off (yet- ) so her son has the advantage of a dad at home.

If you have genuine concerns about the teacher your DS is going to then fair enough. If there isn’t a concern and this teacher gets great results I think you have to accept this.

Your son isn’t being punished and I think you are being over dramatic.

Sometimes kids and teachers just click and that is wonderful but it’s unrealistic to expect this all of the time.

The new teacher sounds great so I would move up into next year full of hope and optimism. To do otherwise, is to do your child a disservice.

My son had a teacher like this for THREE academic years in primary.
She was unwell, and also was well known for disliking boys.
I think she should have retired in n health grounds.

She had a nickname “
Shouty ( Surname) “
A very bad tempered woman who smoked like a chimney.

Nicotine withdrawals possibly made her so Ill tempered .

The Head was lovely.

Are you unaware that 99.9% of children have a different teacher each year?

I know it's hard when something works well but change has to be a learnt.

*The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?*

Me! I've thought of something! It is this.....

....get a grip and learn to trust the school's professional judgement.

Yes I was expecting to read that he was dying…

Please don’t set up a club, your son is going into year 4 the last thing he needs is his mother running a club. He is growing up and he needs to learn - yes sometimes they still need their mum to fight their battles for them but this is really really not it. Is he with his friends in the new class split? Because friendships are more important than having the same teacher

it seems you have a good teacher so let it go

My DD (our youngest) is just finishing reception with the most amazing teacher. The best I have encountered at primary school.

But I accept that now it's other children's turn to have him and that we are lucky she has had the most awesome year.

That's just how it goes.

Is Mr Wonderful going to follow your child all the way through to Y6 and beyond? No he isn’t.

Has it also crossed your mind that when they were working out the classes Mr Wonderful had a quiet word and said “ Please don’t put the Bluetie child in my class, I think I have served my time with that parent, it was like being under 24 hour surveillance. couldn’t even relax doing my hobby as that was seen as a “bond” between us.”

I bet you're sick to the back teeth dealing with parents like the OP....

Are you in love with Mr T?

Primary school is always a mixed bag Some years you have a fab teacher, the next...meh. I sincerely hope you manage to overcome this kind of thinking before secondary, cos honestly you and your kid are really gonna struggle.

Thank you everyone. I understand that I may be unreasonable. Year 3 has been great for DS. In all honesty, I know year 4 will be wonderful too even without Mr T.

I think this is this idea 😂

Give the new teacher a chance. They may be amazing for your son in a different way.

Make sure you tell Mr T how great he’s been. It’ll mean the world.

Continuity is something your son presumably gets at home. In the outside world, kids have to learn to deal with a variety of teachers and classmates, and eventually with a variety of colleagues and managers. Most of the people he encounters in life will not be a permanent part of his life, and he will be no different in that respect from anyone else.

This. I thought you were going to say your child’s favourite teacher had died, and you were struggling to explain death to them.

This is ridiculous. He won’t benefit from continuity as it will be harder to change when he inevitably has to the following year.
i imagine you are taking this harder than he is but it’s a bit dramatic to make an issue of it like you are

I think if Mr T really wanted your son in his class he would be.

Your son is doing so well which is great - sounds like it is time to see if he can do just as well with another teacher. At the end of the day you have zero experience with this new teacher - they may turn out to be the best teacher for your son yet.

This thread is batshit.

Why is your so special? He has benefitted from this teachers experience and now another child needs his help more. Stop being that entitled parent and get over yourself. Your son is thriving. Others are not. Your son is not special. He is not more important or more deserving than any other. He is only special to you. It is normal for class teachers to change every year or at least every two so you need to teach your son some resilience and that change and being able to adapt to change are vital life skills. Carry on like this and you will be setting him up to fail miserably at coping in secondary school.

Omg we don't get to chose our kids teachers. Get over it you are being ridiculous