Heartbroken about DS's teacher

[Bluetie]

DS is a great kid. He's smart, funny, musical and sporty. He is also incredibly polite and has a caring nature. He is always winning awards at school, and is liked by all. DS attends a lovely small school with only 2 year-groups.

His previous teachers were OK but in year 3, he's had the most wonderful teacher, Mr T. Mr T is DS's first male teacher and they also share a hobby. Mr T has really helped DS develop his confidence, pushing him more in academics. DS has had a great year.

DS is now moving to year 4. Mr T is also moving to year 4. But they won't be together. All the classes have been mixed to mix abilities, sexes and SEN.

One morning this week, I went to ask Mr T if this class allocation was final. The head came to join our conversation, and he said he will only move DS for an exceptional reason. The head added that the new teacher has made the best progress in her year group across the whole school. I really want DS to stay with Mr T.

Can anyone think of something?

I'm so glad that a non issue such as this is so upsetting for you that you are heartbroken.

I'm however glad you've not had to face anything harder in your life

Unfortunate typo. Should start with I'm so sorry.....

I’m sure Mr T is really going to miss your son as it sounds like they developed a really good relationship over the last year. Excellent teachers do leave a lasting impact and some of the work and the way your DS tackles things in September may be down to his influence.

Parents ALWAYS complain about these sorts of things but usually it is just about mixing up personalities as well as needs/sex. Perhaps the strongest teacher is supporting the trickier group because he has a proven track record but also knows how the school works. Who knows?

The best thing to do is let Mr T know what impact he has had on you child and feel free to let the Head know too. Give the new teacher a chance. Year 2 planning goes hand in hand with Year 1 so your son is in a great position to do well next year with such a strong grounding.

You are being ridiculous. I'm a teacher in a school that mixes the classes up every year, and I've never heard such twaddle.

Punished for being good?
Disadvantaged because some kids will have Mr T twice?

We balance the classes on numbers, gender, academic ability, pupil premium, EAL and half a dozen other criteria.

We are also asked to keep certain children apart, either by teachers or by parents, and comply if it's a good reason.

Some teachers will ask not to have certain children, and again we comply if it's a good reason.

Your child isn't being punished for being good. When the head said he would only move a child for an exceptional reason he is talking about serious, unforeseen reasons. He is also laughing at you in the staffroom for asking him about it!

And if not having Mr T twice is a disadvantage, how about the kids who didn't get him at all?

Some parents need to remember that other kids exist.

Maybe Mr T didn't want your kid again because you behave in such a nuts way.

Your child has had the benefit of this wonderful teacher for a year. You have no genuine reason for Mr T to stay teaching your child next year. So why should your child take the same opportunity away from another child who hasn’t had the benefit of such a wonderful teacher yet?
You sound like a selfish, entitled pain the backside who thinks you and your child are more deserving solely because it’s what you want.

Presumably around 50% of the cohort are boys, and none of them has ever had a male teacher before either. So although your son really benefitted from Mr T I don't see why he should particularly be a priority. In a scenario with an outstanding, inspirational male teacher in a school where he's the only male teacher I'd probably be prioritising kids without Dads.

Sorry- he’s moving to Year 4, not Year 2!

Same point stands though- Year 4 planning goes hand in hand with Year 3, so he’s had a great start.

The way some mums react towards male teachers is quite embarrassing

It is nice when your child really clicks with a teacher and it makes them enjoy school even more. Especially in primary where most teachers at ds's school were female it was good for ds to have the experience of a male teacher he clicked with and who was also a good male role model and over 6ft, broad, and very hot.

But it is right they move on to new teachers, I don't think it benefits them or the teachers for a pupil to become reliant on a closer relationship with a teacher long term, it just makes the transition harder later.

You’re being ridiculous and precious about your son being punished for being a good kid!
He is changing teachers because that is what happens and no other reason.
You need to teach your kid about good endings, many many relationships end. Trying to micro manage teachers that you prefer is not helping. The most important gift you can give is teach him to be thankful for the good relationship and let go, full of confidence and ready to establish a new one.

I thought that too. One of my teachers died in primary school. I'm sure it would be handled better nowadays.

Have you emphasised that this is an award-winning child who should get everything he wants?? Why are they being so unreasonable about this?

Be careful about giving your child the same inflated sense of entitlement

Teachers have to change op, there’ll be ups and downs and your child will have other teachers that will give them as much if not more than Mr T and you’ll only find out randomly, possibly way after they’ve had them. I can name all of my kids’ teach et s and I have a line on all of them, the ones I was worried about taught them resilience or gave them tough love that actually worked well or honed in on a subject they never would have known they liked. The one I worried about the most got one of my kids more than any other teacher and I only found out waaayyyy later that he thought she was the best teacher in the school in opposition to the ray of the school (there’s one obvious favourite teacher that has even been nominated for a local award).

if you don’t allow your child to experience all the possibilities you could honestly hold them back.

I understand being sad that your son won't have his amazing teacher next year, but that's life! Dd has just been separated from 2 of her best friends due to classes being mixed up next year. It's sad but a good life lesson. She had an amazing teacher last year that really built up her confidence and I was sad to see her go. From September that amazing teacher will have ds who is currently being assessed for sen and is an entirely different beast to dd. I'm curious to see how they get on.

"I'm however glad you've not had to face anything harder in your life"

Harder than Mr T? Nowt's harder than Mr T.

I’m sorry but I think you need to get a grip. Being punished for being good? Really?! I hope your DS hasn’t heard you say such nonsense. Classes get mixed up all of the time. Building resilience is the best life lesson you could give your DS.

God I thought this thread was going to be that the teacher had died or had cancer or something from the title. So dramatic.

This!
Never heard such ridiculous entitlement before.
There are always wonderful teachers ( looking at you, Miss Kitson) where lots of children cried when she left-

YABU

Just lucky your son isn’t with a teacher he dislikes!

From the thread title I thought OP was going to say the teacher had passed away or something!🤦‍♀️.Op,your son will be fine with another teacher I'm sure,my DD was always upset at having to change teachers as she progressed through the years but she always loved the next one as much as the last.

If you've got loads of children, one of them might have Mr T in future, so you'll get to see him again.

Same here! Mum was a teacher, and a very good Head died of cancer far too young.

I'm a primary school teacher.

There have been a few occasions in my 25 years when I've had some children two years in a row.

It doesn't always work out well.

I often have nothing left to give child after one year. They've heard (suffered) all of my jokes and little fun things.

A second year with the same teacher may not be as good as the first.

You’re being ridiculous I’m afraid. Be glad your son had such a nice time with Mr T, and move on.

I have not RTFT - only the OP comments. As a teacher, I am shaking my head in disbelief. I get that you want the teacher that you consider the best for your son - I honestly do. However, surely you see that your child is not number one in the eyes of the school. Number one in your eyes certainly (the way it should be) but definitely not from the school’s viewpoint. They are treating him the way he should be treated - and he is in a class which has been sorted in a particular way dependent on however the school decides on classes. No special treatment just because of your own viewpoint.

Please accept this and move on. You are not doing your son any favours if you try and guide him along every single route of life and I mean this in the kindest way. Dont be the reason for your child not being able to cope with disappointments or hardships as he gets older.