Guy has suddenly gone cold on me, fed up

[Cheeseburger99]

We met through a running club organised by our work, we work for the same organisation but he's on the 7th floor and I'm on the 1st and in totally different areas, so our paths would never have crossed otherwise.

I found that we got on well at our running sessions and we started talking outside of this, which soon became almost every day.

We went out as friends for a drink which seemed to go well.

Then we went out again 3 weeks later and stayed in touch in between/saw each other at the club.

I do have a crush on him but I've not said that to him, I'm not sure if he does but being cynical, most men don't bother talking to me almost every day unless there's some sort of attraction. He's definitely single.

Anyway since we went out he's been very cold with me. Won't speak to me unless I speak to him first. If I speak to him he's nice, but I saw him at the running and there was a very weird vibe, like he didn't really want to speak to me/seemed sheepish.

I feel like stopping the club. Or should I ask him what's up?
I'm not stupid and I can tell when someone's changed towards me. I didn't get drunk or anything, I really don't get it.

Like last week he was my best mate and now it's like he's giving go away vibes. We didn't have a disagreement or anything.

I'm really sorry but he's not into you.

I've had this happen to me and I know it's really stressful. As much as possible, try and put him out of your mind. It's likely the impact of his inconsistent behaviour that's really getting to you. It's human nature to puzzle over this stuff. So try distracting yourself until the crush passes.

He'd probably be a shit boyfriend anyway!

Like last week he was my best mate and now it's like he's giving go away vibes.

As he's a work colleague, the safest thing to do is let it go, and keep any interactions between you professional and about work.

True but we technically don't work together. We're on completely different floors and have zero interactions/reasons to interact about anything work-related.

Around April I'd say?

Maybe it is that which is fair enough, it's just rubbish to lose a friendship too.

Does it really matter OP? He evidently doesn't reciprocate your feelings. There could be any number of reasons why. I would stay polite and back away from the relationship. I would stay in the club and move on.

I agree with others, he’s not interested, he knows you are, so he’s putting some distance there

Yes, I’m afraid he just doesn’t want to take it further and wants to give you a clear signal. It’s not you or anything you’ve done, there can be several reasons why he has decided that he just doesn’t want a relationship at this point. As hard as it is, you need to let it go.

Oh I feel for you, mixed messages are the worst. But they never end well. And cold shouldering is shitty behaviour from shitty people. Not good enough for you OP, try to move on and create lots of lovely distractions.

He’s met someone else
He is secretly married
He doesn’t fancy you

jt could be a whole host of things, but I’d just let it go. Bottom line is he doesn’t seem interested in you for whatever reason.

Don't leave the club for him, he isn't worth it. Just back off and be polite if he speaks to you but no more. Don't initiate the contact.

It's just hard to have close friendships with men sometimes it seems.
Wouldn't have killed him to be honest instead of just going cold, I hate how it's such a socially accepted behaviour.

If he is single it’s almost a certainty he is on on line dating. He may have just met someone.

Dont leave, just fall back in to bring mates and style it out.

So I was useful to talk to whilst it suited him but no longer.

He doesn’t owe you anything though.

Women tend to feel guilty and come up with excuses - he is clearly not emotionally mature enough to say what the real reason is

At least this happened now before anything happened

A) He’s gay b) He’s got a GF c) He’s not that into you. Whatever it is don’t take it personal, just act normal around him and move on. Once he notices you’re not hitting on him or interested he might relax a little bit and be more friendly.