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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guy has suddenly gone cold on me, fed up

56 replies

Cheeseburger99 · 06/07/2024 12:01

We met through a running club organised by our work, we work for the same organisation but he's on the 7th floor and I'm on the 1st and in totally different areas, so our paths would never have crossed otherwise.

I found that we got on well at our running sessions and we started talking outside of this, which soon became almost every day.

We went out as friends for a drink which seemed to go well.

Then we went out again 3 weeks later and stayed in touch in between/saw each other at the club.

I do have a crush on him but I've not said that to him, I'm not sure if he does but being cynical, most men don't bother talking to me almost every day unless there's some sort of attraction. He's definitely single.

Anyway since we went out he's been very cold with me. Won't speak to me unless I speak to him first. If I speak to him he's nice, but I saw him at the running and there was a very weird vibe, like he didn't really want to speak to me/seemed sheepish.

I feel like stopping the club. Or should I ask him what's up?
I'm not stupid and I can tell when someone's changed towards me. I didn't get drunk or anything, I really don't get it.

OP posts:
MimitteAndElsaGoToSwitzerland · 06/07/2024 13:41

Cheeseburger99 · 06/07/2024 12:46

I have not asked him out, I haven't flirted loads, honestly there was mild flirting between us both (no, I didn't imagine it!)
I haven't made inappropriate comments.
Anyway, whatever tbh. I've got other friends.

This definitely sounds like the right attitude. Bollocks to him!

daisychain01 · 06/07/2024 14:08

Cheeseburger99 · 06/07/2024 12:15

Maybe it is that which is fair enough, it's just rubbish to lose a friendship too.

You've spent enough time together for you both to have formed an opinion as to whether your his cup of tea and vice versa. He clearly doesn't want to develop things further, because he has backed away which is far more honest and decent than leading you on and then ghosting you.

as you haven't got beyond first base, just go back to be professional and dignified, and friendly in your running group. No need to create an atmosphere, if anything he'll probably realise what he's lost by you being really nice about it.

it doesn't make him someone who'd be a shit boyfriend, how ridiculous! (Re: a PPs comment up thread )

greengreyblue · 06/07/2024 14:11

Maybe he’s dating someone else and is cooling off any potential interest from you. Just carry on and forget it. Don’t stop your club though.

stokessauce · 06/07/2024 17:01

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beeloubee · 06/07/2024 22:48

I think he must have met someone else. Sorry OP

stokessauce · 07/07/2024 12:13

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