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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask whats the maximum sum you would be prepared to write off in this situation

223 replies

user09090909E · 05/07/2024 11:45

if you paid someone some money by mistake, they offered to refund it if you sent them your bank account details but you didn't want to give them your bank account details because you didn't trust them, what's the maximum sum you could live with as the cost of your mistake?

am in exactly this situation and am just thinking of writing it off. but unsure becauase of the amount.

OP posts:
leeverarch · 05/07/2024 19:57

@user09090909E In what way did you pay them the money in the first place?

BeeCucumber · 05/07/2024 20:05

£16

Bluebirdover · 05/07/2024 23:31

user09090909E · 05/07/2024 12:50

@housethatbuiltme

But none of these things work if your not a complete fucking moron that lives under a rock.

I'm not so arrogant as to think that I could never fall for a fraud like that People who think only 'fucking morons' fall for banking frauds are themselves on that level.

Fraudsters are sophisticated clever and adept at using fear and urgent pressure tactics. Like romance scams, the media is absolutly full of accounts from people who were 'that would never happen to me, I'm too clever'.

You may think like that but I'm not so arrogant

RBH you do need to be very wary, if you make a whole transaction sending money to someone you don't trust "by mistake".

theGooHasGone · 06/07/2024 02:44

A fool and their money are soon parted...

hulahooper2 · 06/07/2024 07:21

you are being completely paranoid - yes they can pay into your account , why would they want to use it for money laundering if they need to go to so much trouble to withdraw it again. Surely you’d spot unexpected credits and flag it to your bank

AstonMartha · 06/07/2024 08:08

Every time you pay for anything by card you give your details. Do you only pay with buttons?

polkadotpixie · 06/07/2024 10:24

You do realise your bank details are on every cheque you've ever written? You're being paranoid

ChampagneLassie · 06/07/2024 11:13

user09090909E · 05/07/2024 12:14

@ChampagneLassie see my post above - you need to educate yourself!

I'm so surprised how people have so little fraud awareness!

I work in financial services! I’m very aware! But the idea that people can defraud you with just this info is daft. No one would get anything done if they didn’t give their bank details. Youre examples all involve additional steps. Ie if someone phones impersonating your bank put the phone down and call your bank yourself.

Askingforafriendtoday · 06/07/2024 18:12

Bjorkdidit · 05/07/2024 11:52

With your bank account details they can do two things:

Pay money into it, which is what they want them to do
Fraudulently set up a direct debit.

If they did the latter, you'd have redress via your bank, if the direct debit was actually set up (security checks for the account/service they were trying to pay for are likely to flag it up, eg if names and addresses don't match).

Therefore, I'd have no concerns about giving anyone my bank details.

This

DragonGypsyDoris · 06/07/2024 18:21

All someone can do with your bank details is pay you money or set up a direct debit. The latter would be covered by the d/d guarantee. So no risk at all.

spirit20 · 06/07/2024 18:21

If someone contacted me claiming to have accidentally sent me money, and then spent ages faffing about trying to sort out how they wanted me to return it, I'd be more inclined to think they were trying to scam me in some way rather than the other way around.

Helpfulhaddock · 06/07/2024 18:21

user09090909E · 05/07/2024 12:43

@FeatherBoas

You accidentally sent money to a random person and you now assume this random person is some sort of money laundering, identity stealing criminal. What are the chances that you managed to pick such a person at random?

I never said it was accidentally sending money to a random person - that's come from you. I said I paid someone some money by mistake.

The risk isn't that they are a criminal but about criminal access. What it boils down to is for reasons I have given you shouldn't give your bank account number and sort code to people you don't trust - especially by sending it electronically so it is sitting on their phone or in their email accounts.

It's not that controversial a proposition that you should be very cautious about who you give your bank account details to.

Set up a burner Starling/monzo/revolut account and close it afterwards.

ACynicalDad · 06/07/2024 18:23

Open a second account

littlemissdelightful · 06/07/2024 18:27

I have a feeling OP doesn't the recipient to know their geographical location.. the sort code is the give away.

littlemissdelightful · 06/07/2024 18:30

I'm not sure of the technicalities but i know NatWest has the request a payment feature. Could you test it with a trusted family member or friend to see if your bank details are disclosed to them?

Alternatively; do you have a friend or family member that wouldn't mind it being transferred to their bank account?

Kitkatfiend31 · 06/07/2024 18:34

Open a basic account and give them those details. Once you have the money you can transfer it and either keep or close the account.

TeenLifeMum · 06/07/2024 18:47

It must be exhausting living life in such a state of anxiety.

If someone pays money into your account or you spot fraudulent activity you notify the bank and they sort it. You should never answer banking questions over the phone if the bank calls you, call them back on their usual number. They can’t set up a loan or direct debit on just account number and sort code.

MassiveOvaryaction · 06/07/2024 19:18

littlemissdelightful · 06/07/2024 18:27

I have a feeling OP doesn't the recipient to know their geographical location.. the sort code is the give away.

Is it though? Sort code/address of where my account is based is hundreds of miles from where I am.

FanSaBhaile · 06/07/2024 19:26

littlemissdelightful · 06/07/2024 18:30

I'm not sure of the technicalities but i know NatWest has the request a payment feature. Could you test it with a trusted family member or friend to see if your bank details are disclosed to them?

Alternatively; do you have a friend or family member that wouldn't mind it being transferred to their bank account?

Alternatively; do you have a friend or family member that wouldn't mind it being transferred to their bank account?

Oh yeah, I'd be only too delighted to do this for someone..... I don't want my bank account being used, in case I end up a money mule and get into trouble. Can I use your account instead?

Also you'd expect the recipient to return the money to someone different? If that is not a sign of money laundering I don't know what is!
🙄

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 06/07/2024 19:29

NextPhaseOfLife · 05/07/2024 12:42

Interesting post OP, and I would have said there was no risk either so I'm glad to be enlightened!

To answer your question, I guess I'd probably write off £100 if I was worried.

I'd probably ask them to send it me via PayPal if I didn't want them to have any account details.

Or an Amazon gift card equivalent?

Then it would look like money laundering. Don't ever turn someone else's money into gift cards or pay in gift cards.

DoIWantTo · 06/07/2024 19:44

I’d love to have enough money to accidentally pay the wrong person then write it off. However if it came with the paranoia displayed by the OP, maybe not…

Winter2020 · 06/07/2024 19:51

Sorry if someone has already linked this
When Jeremy Clarkson published his bank details:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7174760.stm

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Clarkson stung after bank prank

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7174760.stm

MMAS · 06/07/2024 19:53

Very surprised this post made it past Admin to be honest.

MoroccoMole · 06/07/2024 20:02

I'm so confused, obviously you know the person you sent money to? Otherwise how would you be in contact with them?!

Isinglass20 · 06/07/2024 20:05

Give them your bank details and after you received the money then change your account.
Or open a new bank account and give them those details and then transfer to your usual account and then close it down
or just give them your regular bank details and keep an eye on your account
or ask for cash

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