I've just told my DS7 that he smells of wee.

[SoggyTrousers]

I am being unreasonable because it's a horribly mean thing to say.

But I don't know how to stop it or help him. He's neuro-divergent but perfectly capable of going to the toilet. He understands that if he smells then there's potential that people will be mean. He hates meanness and unkindness.

He comes home every day stinking of wee because he's wet himself rather than going to the toilet. I thought it was because he didn't like the noise or other children in there, so I arranged with staff that he could go during lesson and he says to them he doesn't need it.

He won't go at break times. He won't go in the single toilets or the communal toilets. He wets himself at home rather than go. I've tried sending him every half an hour or whatever and he refuses. It's a battle I'm tired of having.

I know it's an interoception thing, I know it's also probably a sensory thing, but I'm so worried that he's going to have the (for want of a better phrase) piss ripped out of him in nine weeks when he's in year three with the big kids and he smells. He's getting on for being 8, what the fuck do I do?

You said he wets himself at home also OP? I suspect he can't help it. What does he do when he's all wet at home? What does he do at school... in his wet urine clothes? Urine will burn the skin if this is a regular thing.

He drips at home but rarely fully wets. That just tends to be at the end of a school day (when he's overstimulated and dysregulated). I'll be interested to see how many accidents we have during the summer holiday.

If he does wet/drip at home then once he/I notice he'll have a wash and gry changed. He doesn't seem to notice at school and would only get changed if he'd had a poo accident (rare). He has a spare pair of underpants and school trousers in his bag as well as toilet wipes, it just doesn't seem to register on a discomfort level.