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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a secret Tory voter and feel embarrassed about it?

877 replies

SecretToryVoter · 04/07/2024 12:41

I’ve just gone to do my vote and had to admit to myself that I’m one of those secret Tory voters and would be embarrassed to admit it to friends / family!

A month ago I was adamant that I would be voting Labour but ended up changing my mind for a number of reasons

  1. Keir seems to have a number of grand ideas of what he wants to do but no substance behind how he’s going to do it (where is he going to find an additional 6,500 teachers as just 1 example)
  2. Womens rights
  3. my Labour candidate has been helicoptered in and doesn’t look good on paper whereas the Tory candidate is a local, well respected councillor
  4. Tory policy is closer to my values overall

anyone else had to admit to themselves that they are a Tory at heart for this election?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Theweepywillow · 05/07/2024 17:30

U53rName · 05/07/2024 17:25

Oh I don’t know…I’m quite looking forward to Angela meeting Donald Trump on a state visit next year. She can put him in his place by calling him ‘GOP scum’.

Would she even meet him, the deputy pm is usually behind the scenes, I had to even google who the Tory one was. It’s not some job share.

RubySloth · 05/07/2024 19:07

Teddybearpicniccelebration · 05/07/2024 15:22

@RubySloth you added reform to your sentence interesting.

Yes because they have had scandal but could add SNP to the list too. I'm not sure about lib dem and greens as they don't hit the headlines as much.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2024 20:59

Anyone who thinks Tory activists are all “naice” and never behave badly have clearly never been political activists.

Teddybearpicniccelebration · 05/07/2024 21:19

I'm speechless 😶

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:28

StarDolphins · 04/07/2024 13:06

Ime, Labour voters go wild when anyone suggests an alternative vote choice, calling them thick/simple etc.

I have been disowned by family members because I am a labour supporter. At work today I had snarky comments from peers & my boss because Labour won. They all voted Tory even though they all admit he's useless & offensive- he still got in with a massively reduced majority though only just beat labour.
I always read the full manifesto.

HebburnPokemon · 06/07/2024 09:29

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:28

I have been disowned by family members because I am a labour supporter. At work today I had snarky comments from peers & my boss because Labour won. They all voted Tory even though they all admit he's useless & offensive- he still got in with a massively reduced majority though only just beat labour.
I always read the full manifesto.

Where do you work?? What industry?

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:35

@HebburnPokemon
Education

TakeMeDancing · 06/07/2024 09:37

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:28

I have been disowned by family members because I am a labour supporter. At work today I had snarky comments from peers & my boss because Labour won. They all voted Tory even though they all admit he's useless & offensive- he still got in with a massively reduced majority though only just beat labour.
I always read the full manifesto.

I’m not sure how wise it is to tell colleagues and employers who you vote for. I have absolutely no idea who any of my colleagues voted for this week, and haven’t been asked who I’ve voted for.

HebburnPokemon · 06/07/2024 09:39

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:35

@HebburnPokemon
Education

Private?

AllPrincessAnneshorses · 06/07/2024 09:43

AIstolemylunch · 04/07/2024 12:46

Some people i know are voting Tory tactically in margibal areas to try and rrduce the 'super majority' a bit so Labour are less likely to 'have a mandate' to do some of their more bonkers stuff. These people dont actually want them to win.

Labour aren't proposing any bonkers stuff. Their manifesto is utterly anodyne. Whipped up fear about super majorities is targeted at the hard of thinking

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 06/07/2024 09:44

@HebburnPokemon
No state, it's unfathomable to me too 🤷‍♀️

@TakeMeDancing
I didn't announce it but we have discussed the local mp before as he makes a nuisance of himself outside every election & we have complaints about him from parents.

Jumpingthruhoops · 06/07/2024 09:45

errjql · 04/07/2024 12:51

It’s because typically labour voters are quite vocally rude to con voters. But con voters are generally more reserved and won’t be rude to lab voters.

This! 👏👏

I tend to keep an open mind with politics but I've found those on the left to be utterly vile. If anything, it's this that would push someone to the right. So much for 'tolerance', eh?

Jumpingthruhoops · 06/07/2024 09:47

BitOutOfPractice · 05/07/2024 20:59

Anyone who thinks Tory activists are all “naice” and never behave badly have clearly never been political activists.

Edited

I would say that would apply to the vast majority of people...

RedToothBrush · 06/07/2024 10:16

Jumpingthruhoops · 06/07/2024 09:45

This! 👏👏

I tend to keep an open mind with politics but I've found those on the left to be utterly vile. If anything, it's this that would push someone to the right. So much for 'tolerance', eh?

Whether or not Tory supporters are mean or not is actually beside the point to an extent.

I see a difference between 'supporters' and the general electorate, particularly those who are swing voters who don't treat politics like a football team.

From where I stand, one of the problem isn't so much the difference in behaviour but actually which group sees itself as the 'nice group' and then has behaviour that doesn't reflect that self belief. It stinks of hypocrisy. And I think many a neutral looks at this and gets turns off by it. Why? Because they try to justify behaviour which is frankly totally unacceptable, not just disrespectful but is actively harming our country.

I don't think it's right that any MP feels they have to move out of their constituency due to abuse. I was told this by a party member of a different party to the Tory MP in question. This Tory MP was getting threats to their children and dogs shit through the door. They eventually quit politics some years ago because of it. The problem has been getting steadily worse since. In the years since there's been numerous others who have said similar. That's unlawful intimidation and harassment. If we are at this level, it endangers democracy full stop. We lose potentially good people from politics from all parties.

The way Jess Phillips was treated on Thursday was no more acceptable. The way Rosie Duffield has been treated has been appalling (noting this hasn't even been from other parties). The way a bunch of cross party MPs who refused to tow the party line over Brexit, were treated was appalling.

I can not understand why we are having this argument about who is worse. The point is actually that it shouldn't be happening and we shouldn't be making excuses for it, regardless of 'frustration' or whatever other bullshit there is. There are lots of other ways to express that there is a massive problem without resorting to this. It doesn't actually achieve anything but result in people who really could represent this country well going 'fuck that, I can do more good doing x, y or z without putting my family at risk'.

Anyone who ends up an MP is on a hiding to nothing tbh. You have to understand what it's going to be like. Some MPs are decent (I say this about every party too). Some are totally out of touch. Some are militant and totally lost sight of reality. But we end up with less of the decent sort if the quality of life becomes so intolerable. It becomes only attractive to the zealotty more extreme types to stand if levels of abuse get so bad.

I don't think those who busily shout at MPs of the opposing side quite get how they are part of the polarisation process which has driven us to this state.

If we can't communicate across the chamber - or real life - we can not build consensus which works for the population as a whole. It is the very definition of what divide and conquer manifests as.

Have a think about it. Whoses interests do you serve if you drive capable and competent people out of politics? Who then is in parliament to make points about unintended consequences and make intelligent stinging rebuttals about policy rather than these bloody awful personality attacks that are so common in the House of Commons?

Seriously. When we descend to personal attacks in politics we all bloody lose.

NOTthisOldchestnut · 06/07/2024 10:20

AllPrincessAnneshorses · 06/07/2024 09:43

Labour aren't proposing any bonkers stuff. Their manifesto is utterly anodyne. Whipped up fear about super majorities is targeted at the hard of thinking

I still cannot believe people believe the term "super majority." 😂

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 11:16

I vote different everytime dependent on policies. The people who tend to be assholes about politics are the ones who will vote the same party every time no matter what and will go out their way to stick up for a candidate no matter what they've done. These tend to also be the same people who don't understand others have a different opinion to them and don't understand dependent on where you are in your life and what your needs are that your vote obviously will be different.

Emmanuelll · 06/07/2024 11:25

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 11:16

I vote different everytime dependent on policies. The people who tend to be assholes about politics are the ones who will vote the same party every time no matter what and will go out their way to stick up for a candidate no matter what they've done. These tend to also be the same people who don't understand others have a different opinion to them and don't understand dependent on where you are in your life and what your needs are that your vote obviously will be different.

I see where you're coming from. But I think it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge that certain parties stand for specific values that don't change much over time. Which is why you don't often get MPs from one party switching to another. I know it happens but it's not a regular occurrence.

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 11:43

Emmanuelll · 06/07/2024 11:25

I see where you're coming from. But I think it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge that certain parties stand for specific values that don't change much over time. Which is why you don't often get MPs from one party switching to another. I know it happens but it's not a regular occurrence.

But as your life changes what matters to you changes hence why I vote differently everytime. My point is some people seem so obsessed with a particular party no matter what. That they think everything they do is perfect and everything the other parties do is wrong and these are the people who tend to cause problems as their views are so extreme

Emmanuelll · 06/07/2024 11:55

Actually, I think the most problematic are the people who say they are all the same or they don't read the manifestos.

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 12:19

Emmanuelll · 06/07/2024 11:55

Actually, I think the most problematic are the people who say they are all the same or they don't read the manifestos.

The people who usually say their all the same are usually the people who don't vote as they see no point. People who don't read the manifestos are usually the people who vote the same everytime as its irrelevant to them what the manifesto says, it could literally say we plan to drown all puppies and their would still be certain voters who would stick up for them as that is the party they vote for and nothing they do is wrong

Emmanuelll · 06/07/2024 12:34

I think that's too simplistic.

WellwellwellInever · 06/07/2024 15:47

Wotcher · 05/07/2024 10:09

This is the very polite way to put it. A lot of them are openly vile and hostile. I witnessed it at the count many years ago. Everyone applauded the labour candidate that got in at one constituency, then the labourer supporters openly booed and heckled the conservative that later got in at the other constituency. And that’s the supposed professional people and councillors at the count! That is what scarified my view of lefties.

I think it’s unacceptable to get personal and aggressive and I think Parliament should set the tone. It needs to change.

Im not sure it is more left leaning that are more aggressive. Jo Cox was murdered after-all and a Conservative MP too. We need to move away from the vitriol and hate.

That said, I think left wing voters have more right to be angry. Generally it’s those less well off that lose out with a Conservative government whereas the wealthy are fine whatever. May be slightly less wealthy but not struggling to put food on the table. So there is more at stake. The lack of fairness really gets to some and it’s understandable.

Whilst I’m comfortably off, I work with families and have seen the abject poverty some have lived in, despite working very hard, and it makes me angry. I’d never let that spill into aggression but I’m not directly effected and neither have my DC. I’m not sure I would be so restrained if that Andy true.

Panic71 · 06/07/2024 22:20

I don’t understand your concerns about women’s rights.
The Labour Party is made up of MANY women in positions of power including for the first time a female chancellor.

Confused

cardibach · 06/07/2024 22:51

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 11:43

But as your life changes what matters to you changes hence why I vote differently everytime. My point is some people seem so obsessed with a particular party no matter what. That they think everything they do is perfect and everything the other parties do is wrong and these are the people who tend to cause problems as their views are so extreme

Specifics - maybe. Underlying values? No. I couldn’t vote Tory (unless it was a tactical vote in some awful reform scenario) because I disagree with their fundamental principles about individuality and the social contract.

Differentstarts · 06/07/2024 23:01

cardibach · 06/07/2024 22:51

Specifics - maybe. Underlying values? No. I couldn’t vote Tory (unless it was a tactical vote in some awful reform scenario) because I disagree with their fundamental principles about individuality and the social contract.

Which is understandable if your voting a range of the other parties or at least considering other parties its people who will only vote one specific party everytime no matter what their proposing and not even consider anyone else or taking the time to reading everyone's manifestos