Batshi* crazy SIL? AIBU?

[rainbowsandsparkles86]

SIL and I don't have a particularly warm relationship. Over the years she has made me feel unwelcome when we visit the in-laws, has said a number of inappropriate things and at every opportunity will try her hardest to get a cheap dig in - if not about me, then my family.

I've had no contact with SIL since Christmas when I told DH that I was going no contact as I was fed up of her comments. He got it as she was also inappropriate to him, but given that she is his sister he won't go no contact.

I've always had the impression that feels that I have taken her brother away from her - she seems to think she knows him pretty well by commenting previously and inappropriately on her perceived perception of our married life and his evident bedroom frustrations. She oversteps the mark, crosses boundaries I have put in place and basically any opportunity will say something to belittle me or have a dig.

We have a family WhatsApp chat - I get on with the rest of DHs family, but I have muted the group as I can't really leave the group.

Yesterday DH posted a jokey thing up about a husband and wife. SIL is straight on it and in caps is writing LOVE IT LITTLE BRO and then fills the rest of the message with hearts, kisses and other emojis. She then has evidently misconstrued the joke and thinks it is a dig at me and then (I won't say what the joke was as it will be outing), and then posts a close up photo of just her and DH with a strength arm emoji with lots more kisses and hearts.

I think she's batshi* anyway, but feel like she is now having a dig at me by positing comments and photos of just her and DH and telling DH not to forget his roots and who is BLOOD family are - for context we live a good 5 hours away.

DH thinks I am overreacting - I probably am, but AIBU to think this woman is just as mad as a box of frogs? I dread having to spend any time with her as feel she doesn't make it easy for me - last time we visited she screamed at me in her own home, throwing open doors and asking if I wanted to see inside her cupboards etc.

YABU to engage in any of this nonsense. Leave the chat and ignore this teenage crap.

She's looking to create some drama for herself, don't feed it

Respond with’Are you okay hun’

@rainbowsandsparkles86 I think you are angry at the wrong person. why on earth would your dh be posting jokey hus and wife stuff on a group forum you are on; and more so, where sil is on, and it was predictable she would jump on on it?

also telling why you don't want to post the joke here 'for fear of outing' when your whole thread is pretty outing? not all wives go no contact with sils.

Message her privately that sorry you didn't comment on her post you were shagging your dh....
She sounds hideous
..

Crazy. But you missed off the T. It’s batshit, we’re adults and allowed to swear including in the title. Any swear word is allowed.

Leave the family group chat. Just communicate with the other family members 1 on 1. Problem solved.

Why on earth would he have shared jokes about a husband and wife in the family group? It's weirdly off-topic anyway, but so obviously inappropriate in the context of this issue with his sister.

I know I shouldn’t give her the headspace, but she honestly irritates me so much! I will speak to DH re sharing jokes like that in a family group chat. I hadn’t thought anything of it to be honest.

Grey rock and ignore the drama.

Block her on WhatsApp, and you won't see her messages again. Problem solved.
Tell hubby that next time she starts up, he sorts it out. She is a fkn nutter.

She sounds nuts. 2hy did she scream at you at her house?

Her observation of your bedroom habits? How would she know? I'd just leave the whatsapp group and you don't have to have anything to do with her. You don't like each other and that's that. Let your DH go visit his family and enjoy having the free time!

I don't understand why your DH hasn't put a stop to this? If my sibling made digs at my partner, screamed at them or were generally rude I'd tell them to cut it immediately.
Why isn't your DH making it clear that mistreating you isn't on?

I assume the “joke” was something negative about marriage or wives? Dh wouldn’t make a marriage joke because it’s not our experience of married life. Why does your dh fuel it? Sounds like he’s over shared. How can she “observe” his bedroom frustrations? That makes no sense.

Who made you the Oxford dictionary officer for mn. She can write what the f* she wants, as can I.
Yes it’s allowed but doesn’t mean posters have to use them and * is a perfectly acceptable way of writing it.

She sounds nuts.

Your DH does NOT have your back at all. Why?

What did their parents say in the family group, or on any joint visits?

Oh... and your DH is very much part of the problem.

last time we visited she screamed at me in her own home, throwing open doors and asking if I wanted to see inside her cupboards etc.

Why though?

What was the build up to that?

post this in reponse on the family whatsapp

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DRJQywZwBNWk&ved=2ahUKEwj-95jzq42HAxWWQ0EAHZG-AIsQwqsBegQIBxAG&usg=AOvVaw3tIXM2W_vFjDHcBqOSLcHA

She had done her house up and she had given everyone a tour, except me. DH said are you going to give me the tour and she screamed at him and then reluctantly showed me. When DH had gone downstairs and out of earshot she started flinging the doors open and saying I supposed needed to see in there too.

so funny!

She actually screamed?

Have you considered she may have mental health issues?

People don't normally start screaming out of the blue, when asked a civil question.

Either way, I'd continue to keep away from her.

And after the screaming at her brother, you actually let her give you a tour?

Why? Why wouldn't you just say it's fine, and just leave it?

I did say it was ok and didn’t matter, but she made a big thing of it so I reluctantly went.

I agree.