Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I stood up to a man at work and he did NOT like it

89 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 21:27

Bloke at work, nice enough, totally average at job, not a blagger or anything.
We were teamed up for a project by my boss . We have worked together before on a small project and it went fine.
When I approached him and said "we are teamed up again" he made a loud groan and expressed distaste at this in front of a table of colleagues and said "I'm letting you do all the work this time" suggesting I'd been lazy last time we did a project(demonstrably untrue)
I fumed on it and then restructured my work all above board with my boss to work with a new pairing, leaving him to deliver with a newer member of staff. He is now very angry, and said I had to do it as he didn't want to do the work (he has to , it's part of our role) and I needed to stop being silly and just do it. When I calmly responded that he expressed disdain and so therefore I had gone where i was wanted, he lost the plot and stopped off in a huff to the boss who told him the same
Hahahahaha best day ever

OP posts:
PenelopeHofstadter · 03/07/2024 23:49

I always refuse to move for men in the street or shops now, too. Lots seem to have a sense of expectation that a lowly woman will move out of their way, and are genuinely perplexed and shocked when I don't move

shearwater2 · 03/07/2024 23:51

I've had men walk into me deliberately on a pavement when I'm just standing still at the side minding my own business. The thing is I go to the gym quite a lot and I'm not a lightweight or soft and squishy person to bump into, but rather solid. Ouch.

SeriaMau · 03/07/2024 23:53

This. Men are such vile creatures.

OpizpuHeuvHiyo · 03/07/2024 23:56

Well done.

And good on your manager for swapping things around so you don't have to do this with the idiot.

But I agree with pp - be on your guard. He will be actively seeking an opportunity to get you taken down a peg or two. Keep records of everything that you may have to prove.

VeganStar · 04/07/2024 00:10

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

I was walking down the covered way after coming out of Asda and I saw a man walking towards me with the expectation that I’d move to let him pass. I stopped right in front of him and got my phone out thus making him walk around me,he glared at me and let out a sigh of annoyance.
I just chuckled. It felt quite good.

Pelham678 · 04/07/2024 08:01

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

I did this once too. A bloke in a white van 🙄. You know when someone speeds up trying to get there first even though I had right of way being naturally nearer to the part of the road where the parked cars were on my right than he was. He carried on anyway despite me being there already and then expected me to reverse. I just paused and turned off my engine and sat there. It took a couple of minutes and some nerve as traffic was building up behind me. He kept grinning, gesturing at me to move and I grinned and gestured back at him. Finally he went round me on the rather large pavement to save a bit of face I guess.

It was very satisfying and I thought he'd think twice before doing it to another woman. He forgot I'm post-menopausal and have no fucks left to give.

Well done OP you're a star. I think he likes to think of himself as somewhat your manager, so he swans around while you do the work! Biter bit.

Sharptonguedwoman · 04/07/2024 08:05

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 21:27

Bloke at work, nice enough, totally average at job, not a blagger or anything.
We were teamed up for a project by my boss . We have worked together before on a small project and it went fine.
When I approached him and said "we are teamed up again" he made a loud groan and expressed distaste at this in front of a table of colleagues and said "I'm letting you do all the work this time" suggesting I'd been lazy last time we did a project(demonstrably untrue)
I fumed on it and then restructured my work all above board with my boss to work with a new pairing, leaving him to deliver with a newer member of staff. He is now very angry, and said I had to do it as he didn't want to do the work (he has to , it's part of our role) and I needed to stop being silly and just do it. When I calmly responded that he expressed disdain and so therefore I had gone where i was wanted, he lost the plot and stopped off in a huff to the boss who told him the same
Hahahahaha best day ever

Oh well done!

Getonwitit · 04/07/2024 08:20

Fantastic. Well done👏

Biggleslefae · 04/07/2024 12:15

PenelopeHofstadter · 03/07/2024 23:43

Sounds like he was trying to show off in front of colleagues. Were they male too by any chance?

I work with all men; 25 of them plus me, the only female on the team. They're all pretty lovely but they do try and show off in front of each other and get a bit cocky at times. There are one or two alpha males that the others all try to impress.

Well done for standing up to him, OP!

Can you come up with a way to humiliate the alphas in front of the other men, would be amusing to watch 🤭

Jakadaal · 04/07/2024 17:39

I've recently had similar with 2 male family members. Of course it was all my fault for being emotional/shouting blah blah this after one telling me not to interrupt me and the other patronising me. I have had a successful career working at a far higher level than with of them achieved but I'm still expected to be talked down to about a business I know a lot about!

sadly it has caused ructions but I'm pleased I finally stood up to them (both known controllers and emotionally abusive).

well done Op for standing your ground 👏

Jakadaal · 04/07/2024 17:39

Sorry not to interrupt him

BCBird · 04/07/2024 17:42

Serves him right. Needs to keep his cake hole shut😄

LalaPaloosa · 04/07/2024 18:05

I love everything about this. Well done!👏

AmandaHoldensLips · 04/07/2024 18:22

ALL TOGETHER NOW..... "I need a Hero(ine)..."

Mwanamatapa · 04/07/2024 18:31

Keep fighting girl, well done.

BirthdayRainbow · 04/07/2024 18:44

Posts like this make me think it would be interesting to see what happens if you posted his name and his partner was on here..😈

fetchacloth · 04/07/2024 19:00

Good for you OP, in your shoes I would have done the same 👏
No way would I let a fellow colleague (male or female) get away with such rude behaviour, especially in public. 😎

Completelydonechick · 04/07/2024 19:02

Good for you 👏👏👏👏 I am loving this xxx

Oblomov24 · 04/07/2024 19:09

Result.
Twat.

susiedaisy1912 · 04/07/2024 19:11

EmeraldRoulette · 03/07/2024 21:52

Good for you

Why did he say such a dumb thing in the first place? Weird power game?

Showing off in front of others I expect

Sweden99 · 04/07/2024 19:13

Well done.
(sorry, a middle aged man writing).
I employ people in my new job and have chatted with old women colleagues. After a few years, I will have my first male employee and I had not realised that not being creepy and weird positively marked me out amongst the women at work. I will generally stick up for men in relationships, but my eyes were opened by what women put up with in the workplace.
Sorry, I know this is obvious to you all and I am just marvelling at my own belly button and stupidity.

DiduAye · 04/07/2024 19:27

Well done You won't have to put up with his nonsense again !

RockyRogue1001 · 04/07/2024 19:32

That's so fabulous to read.

Well done 💪💪💪

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 04/07/2024 19:58

Since being in peri menopause I'm standing up to more nonsense. I'm also noticing just how often men attempt to tell you off. Ive started telling them off back!

OP posts:
Runsyd · 04/07/2024 20:03

crochetmonkey74 · 04/07/2024 19:58

Since being in peri menopause I'm standing up to more nonsense. I'm also noticing just how often men attempt to tell you off. Ive started telling them off back!

Honestly I think a lot of men think of women much like they think of children. My DH is constantly surprised how intellectually precocious I am for my fifty odd years.