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Original poster

I stood up to a man at work and he did NOT like it

89 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 21:27

Bloke at work, nice enough, totally average at job, not a blagger or anything.
We were teamed up for a project by my boss . We have worked together before on a small project and it went fine.
When I approached him and said "we are teamed up again" he made a loud groan and expressed distaste at this in front of a table of colleagues and said "I'm letting you do all the work this time" suggesting I'd been lazy last time we did a project(demonstrably untrue)
I fumed on it and then restructured my work all above board with my boss to work with a new pairing, leaving him to deliver with a newer member of staff. He is now very angry, and said I had to do it as he didn't want to do the work (he has to , it's part of our role) and I needed to stop being silly and just do it. When I calmly responded that he expressed disdain and so therefore I had gone where i was wanted, he lost the plot and stopped off in a huff to the boss who told him the same
Hahahahaha best day ever

OP posts:
Wisterical · 03/07/2024 22:15

Well done!

EwwSprouts · 03/07/2024 22:17

Well done.

MrsMacGyver · 03/07/2024 22:20

Brilliant 😂

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 03/07/2024 22:24

He misjudged you BADLY!

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 22:31

Being calm and vague is definitely a tactic I'll use again. When he said he didn't want to do it I said " I know I don't think anyone really wants to do it but we have to" in a sort of smily eye roll about the job way. Then I just kept saying to talk to our boss now I'm working in the other pairing. Like it was all a decided situation, and he had no sway. It worked well

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 03/07/2024 22:31

He has only himself to blame. After his rude childish reaction to being paired with you.

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

Biggleslefae · 03/07/2024 22:36

Well done, he was counting on you being a soft touch, turns out you're made of steel 😎

Newnameshoos · 03/07/2024 22:47

Well done and I'm glad it worked out well for you.
I took stood up to a man, after putting up with years of micro aggressions and barely hidden bullying and harassment. It went very badly and the line manager who was also intimidated by him threw me under the metaphorical bus.
I would be very much on your guard with him from now on. He's likely to try to get his own back in some way.

Runsyd · 03/07/2024 22:51

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

I often try this. They always get out of my way, even though I'm five foot nothing. The trick is to make it look like you haven't seen them.

Onemoreterm · 03/07/2024 23:09

Well done Op.

we all need to call out work-twats on their twattish behaviour more often

CriticalCondition · 03/07/2024 23:09

The not giving way to men who expect you to swerve thing has a name - patriarchy chicken. I've been doing it for a few years now since I first read about it on MN. The look on their faces is priceless!

DontThinkJustDo · 03/07/2024 23:11

I wish I had your ovaries OP. I'm still fuming I didn't stand up to a man today who flung a door open, nearly hitting me and then blaming me for standing behind the door. I was going to tell him that he should open the door like a normal person instead of flinging it open but bottled it. I was worried about the repercussions.

Whistledown1005 · 03/07/2024 23:25

Love these kinds of posts!

Nanaof1 · 03/07/2024 23:29

Poor little man-boy, learning that being an ass comes with consequences.

Well-done OP! 👏👏

Alicewinn · 03/07/2024 23:33

What a work shy little twat

sprigatito · 03/07/2024 23:34

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

I stopped moving for men years ago. They're always so surprised when you just keep coming, it doesn't seem to cross their minds that they might be the one to move aside.

Obviously elderly, disabled or otherwise vulnerable-looking people are exempt!

Seacatt · 03/07/2024 23:37

Well done!

DramaAlpaca · 03/07/2024 23:37

Nice one, OP!

Saintmariesleuth · 03/07/2024 23:37

Well played

SqueakyDinosaur · 03/07/2024 23:39

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2024 22:10

Stupidest thing is, all in this bit of work will take us about 2 hours all in!

No, this bit of work will take HIM about 2 hours all in (well, probably a bit more, because he'll have to factor in theatrical huffing and puffing, plus I bet he's less efficient than you). Bravo, OP. Absolute win there.

SqueakyDinosaur · 03/07/2024 23:41

sprigatito · 03/07/2024 23:34

I stopped moving for men years ago. They're always so surprised when you just keep coming, it doesn't seem to cross their minds that they might be the one to move aside.

Obviously elderly, disabled or otherwise vulnerable-looking people are exempt!

Show quote history

I walk with a stick and I am always up for a game of Pavement Chicken. The great thing is that now I am armed, so they are slightly less confident as they stride towards me.

I also give no quarter to morons who wander along on their phones. Engage with meatspace before it engages with you!

PenelopeHofstadter · 03/07/2024 23:43

Sounds like he was trying to show off in front of colleagues. Were they male too by any chance?

I work with all men; 25 of them plus me, the only female on the team. They're all pretty lovely but they do try and show off in front of each other and get a bit cocky at times. There are one or two alpha males that the others all try to impress.

Well done for standing up to him, OP!

EVHead · 03/07/2024 23:44

More of this please 👏

anicesitdownandshutup · 03/07/2024 23:48

Apolloneuro · 03/07/2024 22:33

Ha! Bloody wally was just trying to look big in front of his little friends. Well done OP.

I follow a woman on instagram and she was talking about standing up to men. One of the things I’m going to do is, if you and a man are walking towards each other, the woman will always be the one to move. She says don’t - keep walking. You will probably walk in to each other, but whatever. It won’t hurt and the men need to learn that woman won’t move out of their way.

I did it once when a man was on MY side of the road (cars parked on one side). He clearly expected me to reverse. There was a space next to him that he could pull in to. I gestured that to him and sat there. He did pull in, effing and blinding as he did so. He was on my side of the road and expected me to move. Felt bloody great.

Had that today in the underground. Guy coming towards me and his side of the tunnel was full so me moving out of his way would have meant me moving in to someone else's path. Can't imagine where he thought that I was going to go. Obviously didn't move for him but he threw me such a look